Friday, October 11, 2013

Giving Him Ultimatums

Should a wife ever give a husband an ultimatum?  What if he is practicing sin, can she then?  What if their marriage is falling apart?  Should she insist on counseling?  My opinion is no, she should not, unless he is physically abusing you.  Then call the authorities quickly!

She can ask him once about anything, even confront a sin once.  Many more times than that and she is nagging him and acting like a mother to him and not a wife.  The Bible is very clear that we may win our husbands without a word.  Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and change him.  It is His job, not ours.

The Bible commands women to have quiet and gentle spirits.  It tells us to heap burning coals upon our enemy's head {even if that enemy is your husband}, which means you continue to serve and love him in spite of his behavior.

Arguing with him, demanding your way, getting angry with him, or insisting he does something doesn't work.  Some of you have tried it for many years so you know it doesn't work.  Men were created to fight back and if their wives are fighting them, they will fight back.

Becoming like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and having the joy of Jesus is what will change them, even more than counseling.  I have mentored many women over the years.  Many of them have been to counselors and marriage seminars and nothing has worked.  Once they begin applying biblical principles, marriages begin repairing.

It may take a long time.  Don't give up hope.  Believe God's promises that He works all things for good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes.  Stay committed to your marriage even when it seems hopeless.  Stay obedient to Him and His ways and you will reap amazing fruit for we are promised we reap what we sow.

Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I Corinthians 13:4-7