Saturday, October 5, 2013

How Do We Change Bad Habits?

Once you realize that you are not a good wife, how do you change?  One of my readers asked this question after reading a post where I challenged wives to stop being angry at their husbands ~

I read your post today at Always Learning.  That is so me.  I am making my husband and family so miserable, and I know it.  I have prayed to do better, I have tried to do better, but I have not been able to stop. I feel angry at my husband and can not get over it.  How did you do it?  I feel like pride is getting in my way.  I just can not give in to him.  Any suggestions?  Please pray for me.

I mentored one woman years ago.  They had been married many years and had four children.  They were getting a divorce.  Her husband had moved out.  She wept as she shared this with our Bible study group.  I went to her afterwards and asked if she had ever been mentored by an older woman and she said no.  I asked if I could mentor her.

She was very teachable.  After a few months of  mentoring, she took her husband down to the beach and confessed all the things she did wrong in their married.  She asked for forgiveness.  They both wept and clung to each other.  This was the beginning of a new marriage for them.

I saw her several years later in church.  She told me they are very happily married now.  She simply needed to see what her part was in destroying the marriage.  So the first thing I would tell this woman who asked the question is to confess your sin to your husband and ask for forgiveness.

In order to be transformed, the Bible says we need to renew our minds with Truth.  It is imperative to be in God's Word daily since the Bible is the ultimate authority on life.  Then read good marriage books like Created To Be His Help Meet.  Read good marriage blogs.  Find an older woman that has a solid, happy marriage to mentor you.

You can change for God tells us we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you.  The first step to changing is to recognize what needs to be changed, then confessing it, and get to work renewing your mind.  You must replace that bad thinking, all those lies, with the Truth.  Being angry at your husband accomplishes nothing, except heartache and pain.

And be not conformed to this world: 
but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, 
that ye may prove what is that good, 
and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2