Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Rebellious Children

An instruction to elders in I Timothy 3:4,5 is that He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? 

Therefore, we must assume that parents can raise children that are not rebellious {walked away from God}.  I had many comments on my post Protecting Your Children that seemed to indicate that children will rebel whether they have boundaries or not.  It is by God's grace if children don't rebel they say.  I ask, "Where is God's grace then for children who do rebel?"

The Pearls raised five children who were not rebellious and they all walk with Jesus.  We raised four children who all walk with Jesus.  The Duggers seem to be raising 19 children with gentle spirits that walk with Jesus.  I could name many friends and families who have raised children who walk with Jesus.  Yes, the children have done some stupid things, but they have never walked away from God.
My question ~ I would love to hear from you who have raised children who didn't rebel and ask you what you think you did right that kept your children from rebelling.  Those that have one or more rebellious children, I want to ask you what you think you may have done or didn't do that caused the rebellion.  I think hindsight is a great tool in reevaluating one's life.

The things I felt we did right in raising children are as follows ~

My children knew who was boss at a very young age and it wasn't them.

They learned to obey us quickly or they knew they would be disciplined.

We disciplined them consistently, so they grew up to be disciplined.

We loved them a lot and they knew it.

We talked to them openly about everything, including God and what He expects.

We set boundaries for them and expected them to live within those boundaries.

Maybe we were lucky...Scripture seems to put a lot of weight on the parent's shoulders, however, in raising children.  My purpose in this post isn't to make any one feel guilty or bad about the way they parented their children.  Most parents love their children and do the best they can while raising them, but many aren't taught what good parenting looks like.

So what do you think?  Do parents have a big responsibility if their children rebel or do children rebel regardless of how they are raised?  Can we parents, who have raised children into adulthood that didn't rebel, give hope to young parents that they, too, can raise children who don't rebel?  If the Bible requires elders to raise children that are not rebellious, can't we?