Sunday, August 19, 2012

It's Not Fair!!!

I started into one of my famous discipline lectures. Yes, my best form of discipline was a long lecture that got to the heart of the problem and opened up the minds of my children to the truth. Teach right thinking and you will gain right behavior and attitudes. After this lecture we never once heard the words again “It’s not fair!”

It’s not fair!
You are exactly right! It’s not fair that you were born into this family. You could have been born to a family in Africa or India and have one set of clothes and live in a tin hut. You get three meals a day and lots of snacks when much of the world gets one full meal and many go to bed hungry.

It’s not fair!
You get to go on vacation in one of the most ideal places in the U.S. at Grandma’s beautiful cabin right on the lake, which Grandpa worked so hard to afford. You have two parents who love you and care for you, who laugh with you and play with you, when some children have only one parent or no parents at all.

No… life is not fair!
We have been blessed to be born into a loving Christian family and in the place and time of history that kings and queens of old would have given their right arm to have experienced. Refrigerators, ovens, microwaves, televisions, cars and boats and planes… toilet tissue and running hot water… these are luxuries to a small percentage of all the people who ever lived, and you and I get to experience them.

You don’t want fair!
You want your parents to be generous with you. You want us to look at each and every one of your needs and to give you what is best for you, not everything you want in life. Just because you want something does not mean it is the best for you, and you have to allow your parents to treat each one of you differently so that we can give you the best.

Giving everyone the same thing is not fair!
Thank God that he does not give us all the exact same things in life, but He gives us what He knows is best for us to learn and grow as His children. Do you all want the same Christmas gifts? Do you all want to go to the same schools, study the same subjects, play the same sports, and attend the exact same colleges? Do you want to wear the same clothes and eat exactly the same things? Sleep in the exact same bed and play with the same toys?

So do not ask us to be fair! 
You do not want fairness from your parents, but instead you want our love and generosity. God is not fair with us, but is gracious and generous, kind and loving. If we got what we deserve we would be most miserable, but instead, God and your parents give you the good things of life as we try to give you our best.

Instead, ask that you too learn to be generous and to serve others. To give up things and privileges so that your brothers and sisters can get what they want and need. If everyone in a family is willing to seek the best interest of the others, then fairness is a non-issue. Instead generosity and love become so much more important than making sure you get everything you want or feel you deserve.

Parents, don’t be fair with your children!
Instead be generous, and teach them that fairness is a much lower standard than serving and sacrifice. Seek the best interest of others and watch what God will do in the lives of those who serve Him to change them from the inside out in a way that the things and pleasures of life can never do.

And whosoever of you will be the greatest must become servant of all.
Mark 10:44

Written by Ken Alexander
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