Thursday, February 21, 2013

Being Falsely Accused

How do I handle it when my husband falsely accuses me? I want to be submissive, but do I just say "yes, dear" even when it is not true and he knows it? He has anger issues and wants to blame me whenever anything goes wrong. I find myself trying to prevent things from going wrong. My husband gets angry at me for doing that. But if I don't, and things go wrong, then he takes it out on me, too. Could you please tell me how to handle this? How am I supposed to submit in this situation?

This was a question posed to me on my post entitled In Rebellion To God in which I share what God has been teaching me about submission and what it truly looks like in every area of my life.  I have been asked this question recently from several young women.

The last several mornings I have been reading and meditating on I Peter 2 and 3.  I encourage all of you to study it because God gives us an amazing picture of what true submission looks like.  I wrote to this woman and told her she needs to respond in silence for Scripture tells us our adorning as wives needs to be "the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price."{I Peter 3:4}

I Peter 2:20 we are told, "if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God" and in I Peter 3:14, "But and if ye suffer for righteousness; sake, happy are ye:  and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled."

Let us examine two situations.  A husband falsely accuses a wife of spending money she didn't spend.  She yells back at him and tells him off.  "I did not!  Stop calling me a liar!  You always accuse me of things that are false!"  Then she storms out of the room, slams the door, and gives him the cold shoulder for the next week.

Another husband falsely accuses a wife of spending money she didn't spend.  The wife simply responds, "No, I didn't spend that money and I am truly sorry if you don't believe me."  He continues to falsely accuse her and she simply sits there quietly listening to him.  When he is finished, she gets up and goes about her work in the home with no anger towards him, no cold shoulder, but continues to treat him with love and respect.

Which one do you think has a better chance of winning her husband?  God knows what works!  We will win them without a word.  We are to heap burning coals {tons of love} upon our enemies' heads for it is love that wins others, including our husbands, not a tongue lashing or arguing.