Monday, November 26, 2012

Ruth Graham's Marital Advice


Ruth Bell Graham advised wives to "tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative."  No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man (Michael Pearl). Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well. 

It is so easy to focus upon the negative in others. Many times when I hear of marriage troubles, I advise the women to pray a lot. Often I will get the response that we need to do a lot more than pray.  We need to get our husbands in counseling, bring up their problems to them often, have them visit a pastor, etc.

They don't understand the power of prayer. God can do the impossible. He does a much better job than we can do.  We can't change our husbands, only God can change people. We can try but in the process, we usually will damage our marriage. Men respond much better to forgiveness and love rather than anger and nagging. Come to think of it, so do we.

Believe in the power of God and the power of prayer. Pray daily for your husband and the things he struggles with. Believe God and His promises. Don't depend on your ability to change your husband. Depend upon God. Have faith.

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6

Comments (30)

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Thank you for this, Lori. After a discussion with my husband yesterday and some very hurt feelings, I needed to read this today. Thank you!
You are inspired. Thanks for posting this!
Nice blog
Parfum pas cher
Amen! I'm in the middle of Kimberly Wagner's book Fierce Women and she quotes Joshua Harris as saying, "You will never nag your husband into godliness. You will never criticize your husband into being an amazing leader. You will never nitpick your man into being the man you want him to be."
This can be a tough pill to swallow at times, but your words are wisom from the Lord!!! Thanks for this reminder.
Blessings,
Leslie
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 643 weeks ago

How wonderfully simple is this reminder to pray & trust God rather than taking things into our own hands! I am an old Christian & I still struggle with trying to "fix" things with the first thing that pops into my mind rather than asking God's advice & waiting to hear from Him! I am glad He is such a patient & persistent teacher Who doesn't give up on me! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
I agree!
It's easy to forget this, because all day long, as a mom we are correcting our children - not naggingly and nitpickingly I hope........but still. I wonder if this same advice of pray, pray, pray for our children would apply as well........I'm thinking more of the young adults here than smaller children.
Great post, Lori. "Bring up their problems to them often?" Don't women realize that our husbands already know their problems and bringing them up to them regularly only alienates them more. Just as we already know where God needs to work on us, but we want God to do the working (hopefully), not others.
I wish I had read this last night. Thankful that His mercies are new every day. So glad you shared this at SDG, Lori. I need the reminder.
That's great advice! I am going to remember this. Thanks for sharing!

Missy
Great advice!
Thank you.
A great reminder that God has to be in the center of everything - and that includes our marriage. Praising God for my godly husband. Thanks for the post.
I love this! It is sooooo true! And so on my radar as I went through something this past week that definitely brought me to my knees in prayer this week. It's so much better to give it to the Lord than me "givin' it to" my husband in the way of unsolicited advice. Thanks for this post. Just what I needed to read.
Great post and such a good reminder!!
Lori, from one Lori to another, I remember another wise quote from Mrs. Graham. Someone once asked her if she ever considered divorce. "Divorce? Never!" she replied, "Murder, maybe!" I'm glad prayer won out. I've visited for the first time from Be Not Weary and I'm glad I did :)
No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man. Ouch! That really hits a target. What a powerful statement. One that it took me about 11 years into my 13 year marriage to figure out. Sure wish I had read this a lot earlier. You know we meant well. I never had resentment or anger towards my husband we have always had a good affectionate relationship and I always adored him and considered him to be wonderful. But there were always areas where I was trying to "help" him.
Right on, again! I also remember her saying that she 'never considered divorce, but maybe murder'... Thanks once again for your encouragement and challenge to us all.
I think if you are positive most of the time that you can discuss the negative in a productive manner when necessary.
Wow. Wonderfully said. I just love that quote from Ruth Graham. It's such a great reminder that none of us thrive from criticism.
Wow I definitely needed to read this. Too often I try to change things I can't control.. its time I put it into God's hands hes far more capable than I :)
I love that advice! There are times I want to complain about my husband but then I realize that doesn't help anything.
I linked over from Far Above Rubies and realized once I got here that I am already a subscriber of yours. Your words are very true. I appreciate your boldness. Read my entry about Enjoying the Journey: http://www.thelostapron.com/2012/11/enjoy-the-jou...
Amen!!! Nothing is impossible with God. Prayer is powerful.
So true. Great advice. Thanks for sharing this reminder. I am sure alot of us needed it!
Have a Blessed Thursday,
Sherry

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