Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Becoming A Holy Wife


My mother-in-law always told young women preparing for marriage that it was their job to make their husbands happy, not holy.  After pondering that statement for many years, I have come to the conclusion that if you try and make your husband holy, you will become more unholy and if you try and make your husband happy, you will become more holy.

In order to make your husband more holy, you must use control, manipulation, nagging, pouting, cold-shoulder, emotional outbursts, arguing, and stubbornness to try and change him.  I tried that route for many years and it didn't work.

Sure, Ken would try and please me.  He would always ask for forgiveness after a quarrel.  He would try to eat healthier and read his Bible more but our relationship got worse and worse.  A huge wall was being built between us that was getting thicker and thicker.

Ten years ago, I started trying to make him happy instead of holy.  I asked him what I could do to please him.  I started smiling at him and stopped arguing with him.  I tried to figure out what made him happy and started doing those things.

He started being more happy!  He wanted to start doing devotions regularly with me.  He wanted to start eating healthier.  He enjoyed being with me and started bragging about me to his friends.

My eyes were opened to the truth.  God's Word has a way of doing that.  God does a much better job at making my husband holy when I started cooperating with Him.  He told me to please my husband but for some reason I couldn't see it for many years.

It is never to late to change your marriage around.  I have witnessed it countless times in all the years I have been mentoring women.  Here is part one and here is part two of a woman winning back her husband even after being divorced.  Begin to make it your mission in life to make your husband happy and I bet you'll end up being a lot happier!

She does him good, and not harm, 
all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12 

P.S.  The picture is Priscilla with her precious family.  
You can visit her blog at Gracefully Refreshed.

Comments (9)

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I love this article and it is so true. I too have been guilty of this. I have been looking forward to reading it. Thank you so much for the link! :)
1 reply · active 626 weeks ago
Thank you for the beautiful picture of your family, Priscilla. I love seeing my readers' families!
This is so true! My husband can much more effectively lead our family when I strive to make him happy. I have a story that demonstrates this from yesterday. My husband asked me to get a lot of things done yesterday (quite a few of much were things he said he would do). He knew that I was sick and that our baby was sick. I really wanted to complain and remind my husband that these were his chores and I shouldn't have to do them, but I trusted that if the Lord and my husband had asked me to accomplish this, then I would be given the strength. And I was! I was able to accomplish everything and more, plus I maintained a happy attitude towards my husband. He was so impressed when he came home and kept complimenting me and insisting that he serve me since I worked so hard. He even drove back into town (10 miles from our house) because I wanted an icee and he wanted to reward me. I'm SO glad I chose to make my husband happy instead of argue and complain about his responsibility.
1 reply · active 626 weeks ago
Yes, it is all the simple things and responses that make the difference. It comes with reminding yourself continually of God's Truths. Good for you, Emily! Peace in a marriage is a wonderful thing.
Thanks for words of encouragement and advice.
1 reply · active 626 weeks ago
You're welcome, Emma!
Hi Lori, I just saw this new study that was published this past week about father involvement in childrearing and housework called Father Involvement, FatherChild Relationship Quality, and Satisfaction With Family Work: Actor and Partner Influences on Marital Quality. It reminded me of your "Men Doing Housework" post and I thought you might be interested in the findings.

I'm still enjoying your blog daily! Lots of food for thought :)

Courtney
I'm new to this site but I want to learn more on how to be a woman of meekness. I need to find another way to become abetter and more holy wife.
1 reply · active 538 weeks ago

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