Monday, March 18, 2013

Do Marriage Seminars Help?

When we read {marriage books} and attended {marriage seminars} it would set us up for crazy high expectations of one another and that just set us up for disappointment and frustration with one another :0). When we stopped reading and attending and started focusing on serving, forgiving, and loving unconditionally, our marriage flourished like crazy! {Donna from Facebook}

What has been your experience with reading books on marriage and going to marriage seminars?  After reading Created To Be His Help Meet and experiencing the profound affect it had on my marriage, I went back to all those other marriage books I had been reading searching for why they didn't help my marriage at all.

I have attended many marriage seminars also and listened to many sermons given on marriage.  The problem I see with most of them is they give you a formula.  Do this and this and then that, then your marriage will be great.  So when Ken didn't do this and this and then that, I would be angry with him.

I also would be reminded how the husband is suppose to be the spiritual leader and love me as Christ loved the Church.  Well, he certainly fell far short of that!  I heard how we were to submit to each other.  Well, he certainly didn't submit to me the way I wanted him to.

All these expectations and formulas did nothing for our marriage.  Even going to a marriage counselor and dealing with my past didn't help at all.  Yes, I knew I was suppose to be submissive but I thought since I had his children, cleaned his home, and fixed meals for him, I was being a good, little submissive wife.

Praise the Lord there was someone out there who spanked me with her words and explained to me how ugly my behavior was and what true, biblical submission looked like.  Yes, it is all in the Bible but for some reason I didn't fully comprehend it.  This is why God is very clear about older women teaching the younger women.  He knew we needed a teacher for this difficult subject since society and even most churches don't teach it properly.

Some men are afraid of having submissive wives.  They have been duped by the feminist movement to think submission is an ugly thing.  It is a beautiful thing, for God only creates beauty.  Feminists are completely opposite of feminine.  A gentle and quiet spirit is the essence of femininity...not my will but thine be done.

As we learn to be more like Jesus by putting away all of our selfish ways, our marriages will improve dramatically.  So, as Donna said, start focusing on serving, forgiving, and loving unconditionally and watch your marriage flourish.  {Thank you, Donna, for the wonderful comment!!!}

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,
 by the mercies of God, to present
your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and acceptable to God,
which is your spiritual worship.
Romans 12:1