Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Hellish Cycle of Homemaking


Celine Dion was almost aborted by her mother. "My mother had already brought up 13 children. For more than 20 years, she'd been locked into a hellish cycle of washing, ironing and housework, 365 days a year. She thought, rightly, that she'd done her duty. The two little ones, twins Paul and Pauline, were about to go to school and at last she'd have some time to herself. At last she'd be able to go out, perhaps go travelling with my father and revisit the area where they were both brought up. Then suddenly she was pregnant again. She was so shattered she went to see the parish priest to see if she could do something about it. Once she got over her disappointment that an abortion was out of the question,” added Dion, “she loved me as passionately as she'd loved the last little ones."

Women today view homemaking as "hellish." It's drudgery that just needs to be done. We have become a nation of ungrateful, complaining people. While we are washing all of our dishes, we are not thankful that we have so many dishes to wash, hot water that comes out of our faucet, and soap that makes them clean. Many even have a dishwasher that we just stack our dishes in and it does the washing. Women complain about the laundry, not realizing how easy we have it today compared to all the generations before us and not being thankful for the abundance of clothes we are blessed to own. We have washing machines and dryers that do all the work for us so we don't have to use physical labor as they did in the past to accomplish this task. If women today think that these chores are hellish, imagine what they would have thought if they had been born a hundred years ago without all of the modern conveniences we have today.

Women in most past generations had to pump water from a well, heat it up on the stove and then scrub their clothes clean. They didn't know anything else so they may have been more content than women are today. They were so busy with the job of running a home and raising children that they didn't have time to be lazy or bored as easily. They also didn't have all the distractions we have like the smart phones, internet, etc. or even cars to keep them away from home for hours at a time. Their time was spent at home as keepers of their homes. They didn't know anything different but even so God still commanded women to be keepers at home and that godliness with contentment is great gain, therefore, women have probably always struggled with being content doing what God has called them to do.

The other thing that stands out to me in Celine Dion's statement is that her mother was so weary from housekeeping and child raising that she wanted to abort Celine so she could have time to herself and travel. Celine grew up to be one of the most amazing singers in our country. Once she had Celine, she loved her passionately even though she was her 14th child. Thankfully, her priest told her abortion was not an option. Just think how many children are being denied life because of abortion and it all comes down to women's selfishness. Instead of her mother being able to have some time to herself and being able to travel, she was able to hold another precious baby in her arms; nothing in life compares to being able to do this. 

Some think they won't love a second, third or fourteenth child enough; as if there was a limit on how much we can love. Others tire of homemaking and raising children but I can tell you that there is no greater joy on this earth than to have children walking in Truth! I saw a poster recently that said something like, "Don't mind the noise, the house that isn't spotless and the little fingerprints on the windows because one day soon enough the home will be quiet and spotless when they are all grown up and gone." I can completely relate. They grow up so fast! Treasure these years of having children in your home. They are the best years!

We are called to something different than most in the world. We are called to love and value life. We are called to love children enough to bear them and nurture them. We are called to be keepers at home and be thankful. Rejoice in your God ordained role of being a help meet, bearing children and being a keeper at home. Thank the Lord for your husband who works hard, the home you live in, for the food you eat, and for the clothes you wear; for all the Lord has blessed you with. We have light, heat and air-conditioning by turning a switch on. We get food by going to grocery stores filled with food. We get into a car, put a key into the ignition and drive wherever we want. We have way more than we need. However, the greatest thing we have is Jesus as our Savior! God's wrath will no longer be poured upon us, but instead we will live eternally with Him. Talk to your children about Him daily!

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, 
as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

Comments (41)

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Love this post, Lori. I'd like to make one suggestion that perhaps this sentence needs rewording:

"If women today think that these chores are hellish, they should have been born a hundred years ago to know what hellish really means and they had no choice about how many children they had since there was no birth control."

You are stating here that a hundred years ago, homemaking really WAS hellish because (1) women didn't have modern conveniences, and (2) women didn't have birth control. I know that's not what you're trying to say, but that's how it's written. Instead, I would say that (1) homemaking is always a blessing, even without modern conveniences, and (2) birth control is not a blessing, nor is a large amount of children hellish.

Just a thought!

Have a wonderful day!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
We are an ungrateful and spoiled group of women in this 21st century. Those who learn to count their blessings are the most content. When one looses a baby or loved one and has less laundry- and less love-the vacancy is evident, but until a tragedy strikes, we are a bunch of whining, complaining prima donnas who live unto themselves and find themselves discontent at every turn because blessing and contentment dwells with serving others in love.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
Beautifully written Lori! We are truly in abundance and should learn to be a joy-filled, grateful and content group of women!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
Great post Lori,
Yes it goes way to fast and then you miss all those fingerprints and spills.
I smile when I see that the grands have touched the mirrors in the bedrooms and left their little fingerprints... Or the stickers they have posted here and there on door jambs. I smile as I walk by and leave them there.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
I rarely think about how much easier I have it compared to women in the past but wow, what a difference it makes to my attitude when I do stop and think about it. What a tragedy that we almost lost someone so influential to so many people to abortion. It really does make you think about who all the others would have been if given the chance. I always knew abortion was wrong but I never felt so passionately about it until I lost a baby myself, I don't know how anyone could be pregnant and not love their baby right away.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
I am so grateful to have been born in 1964. My career as a keeperathome couldn't get much more splendid. Same job description ... but with ALL the modern conveniences (It's a VERY good gig) I think you are only limited by the limits of your own creativity.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
I am in my 70's. I have always loved homemaking. I wish I would have had more children. I hated to "retire" from being a Mom at a young age. I have one very close friend that I can talk homemaking with. She even hangs all her clothes outside in the snowy, freezing winters. Some think she is crazy but I know the deep satisfaction she gets from doing this. It is nice to peg the clothes, look up and thank God for work that is therapy not drudgery. This woman is my daughters age. We connect in our spirit. We are we so grateful to have the protection of a home. God planned for women to be safer at home with protection from the husband....houseband...one who circles and shelters the home. Be grateful and go tell that good man Thank You!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
My maternal grandmother always puts things in perspective. When she married my grandfather in 1954 they did not have a refrigerator or a vacuum cleaner and they couldn't afford it right away but have to save up. She said she did just fine without the vacuum cleaner, she was just so happy to have her own home to take care of!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
Thanks Lori, I thank God everyday for blessing our family so I am able to be home with my children and care for the house! I have been a homemaker since my youngest biological son was born over 16 years ago. I was looking forward to time for myself, However God lead us to adoption a few years back. Now I have the privilege to raise two more precious children. I am home for another 13 more years, unless God has more plans for us! (My children are 19, 16, 6,5) Although many days are exhausting and draining, I would never change it for the world!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
In a way I admire Celine, she revealed she didn't care about being made a fuss of and all the nice outfits,travel, and make up, she stated she would much rather be home caring for her family and relaxing, she faithfully stayed by her husbands side and cared for him until death for 22 years, and encouraged her boys to honour their papa and serve him, she gave up a multi million dollar contract to rush home and care for her dying husband for months, even feeding him through a tube. And she begged him to allow her to stay and continue caring for him but quickly and cheerfully complied with his wishes when he insisted she returned to work. She has said she can never love another man like Rene. And she will sing in honour of him until she can no longer sing. And going by their oldest sons speech they adored and honoured him. Amazing woman.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
This post has really convicted me. I'm a single woman, and I work as a special education teacher. Sometimes I come home in the evening and don't want to tidy my apartment or take care of the laundry or dishes, when in fact, I am so blessed to have the modern conveniences that I do! While I live alone right now, I remember that all of the housework I am doing now is training me to one day be a better help meet for my future husband. Even if that day never comes, I know that by keeping a neat and tidy house, I am honoring the Lord! When housework becomes tedious or dull, I remind myself of the Colossians you quoted above!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
God blessed me so far with 7 children. Our oldest was called home almost 16 years ago, when she was 2 years old. God blessed us with 4 sons and 2 daughters since he called her home. When our almost 15 year old was born I went back to work at a bank for 4 months, when he was 2 months old. I enjoyed my job, but was miserable. My husband deployed August 2001,three weeks later told me to quit, I put in my 2 week notice September 10, then September 11 happened. I have never regretted that choice or doubted God's calling on my life. The days can be long, but years are so short. My oldest went to public school for the first time this year. I miss him so much during the week. I truly believe Homeschooling is what is best for children.
Being a mother is a gift, staying home caring for my children, husband, and home is my calling from God.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
This was just what I needed to hear today, Lori. Thank you!
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
I just wanted to thank you for your blog. I have been going through I very rough year. My daughter was diagnosed with autism and My husband and I made the decision for me to go back to work in order to have Autism coverage so my daughter could have the therapys she needs. It has been a rough transition to say the least. I am stressed and honestly worn out and don't have the patience I had when I was home full time and I think she is picking up on my anxiety which causes meltdowns and behaviors on her part. My husband and I had a major sit down conversation that this isn't working. I have an interview for a one day a week position (instead of the 5 I am working now). Please pray for this, it would mean cutting wAy back on therapies for her but I have ordered lots of books and researching on things to work on at home. Pray that I am able to provide her with what she needs which is a major concern for me
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
Great post, i will never trade my being at home with my kids for anything else for I knoq that it is Where God wants me to be.. It is hard but not as hard as people think if you would only love what you do. To God be the glory who giveth me strength and filled my days with His grace😊
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
Hi Lori, I normally wouldn't comment on blogs but I feel compelled to respond that I feel your post lacks compassion. A lot of women with small children, myself included, can feel overwhelmed by what feels like the never ending tasks of looking after a house and children. This is a valid emotion and should be recognised as needing a break and perhaps some time for yourself. I have three children under five and I find that if I don't exercise regularly I can start to feel depressed and anxious. To help me my mum looks after the children while I go to the gym. This is not me being ungrateful or lazy it is recognising that I need time to myself for my own mental health. To ignore feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious and depressed only leads to women not being the best mother and happiest person they can be.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
As a woman who prayed for 25 years, 2 months and 8 days for a baby this article and others like it breaks my heart! And my little man could have been an abortion statistic. Praise God his birth mother chose life for him because he lights up every corner of the world he is in!! I love all that 'hellish' homemaking!!
I have learned a lot about this over my 29 1/2 years of marriage. Life doesn't go according to our plans but God's. I learn to be content anew each day. I have not had a dryer for 21 years. I am thankful for a warm and windy climate that allows me to dry outside approximately 8 to 9 months a year. The other months or during inclimate weather I have learned to use a drying rack efficiently. Because our house is old there are plumbing issues that won't allow our washing machine to drain w/o overflowing. I have learned to maneuver it so it's still usable. Yes it takes longer and has to be watched but at least I have one. I haven't had a dishwasher (other than my kids) for 281/2 years of my married life. But I have dishes and hot water that comes out of the tap. There are so, so many things that I have to be thankful for. Women in many years past had to work much harder. Probably the temptations were less to desire things that really aren't necessary for contentment. I don't know but I do know it has journey to be content, love my family by serving them, and to train my daughter why this is God's way and important.
I loved this post. I am the thankful mother of 15 children, all born from me one-at-a-time, and I can honestly say that the 15th is loved every bit as passionately as the rest!

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