By Divine Appointment ~ Chapter Twelve

Written by Happy Homemaker

The only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman

 is as a help meet to your husband.*

Let me begin by saying I love the title of this chapter; knowing that my divine appointment is being a help meet to my husband.

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" {I Corinthians 11:3}.

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" {Ephesians 5:23}.

Your husband, dud that he may "appear" to be, is appointed by God to be your immediate Superior Officer in the chain of command. Your position under him is where God put you for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman.*

I am sure there are many women that may find this offensive. I admit that had I been reading my Bible when I first married, I probably would have been offended by the above verses as well as the statement by Debi. Now, however, I love these verses and others that clearly tell me how I am to live my life as a help meet to my husband. Before reading this book, I often had sinful thinking and believed lies that feminism would have you believe. 

I struggled with this for a long time, but I have to admit that God's ways are always best. There are sometimes I just want my husband to agree with me on a decision and he doesn't. I submit to his decision, but  with the attitude that my way really would be better {needless to say, I am pretty hard-headed}. On more than one occasion, God has given me a glimpse of what would have happened had we done it my way and I am shown once again that my husband was right. I have this problem of sometimes trying to base decisions on emotions and thankfully my husband can see past this. And even if my way would have been better, it would have been wrong because my husband is to lead our family, and if I do what I want, I am trying to take that God-given leadership role away from him {even if I tried, my husband would not allow me to lead or have my way just because I wanted it, and I am thankful for this}. 

You must answer to God for how you obey the one he placed over you. It takes faith in God to trust him when all you seem to see is one carnal man leading you- to "God only knows where." *

When I first read this book, I would respond by thinking "that's not fair, what if he uses me as a doormat because I submit, etc..."  First off, let's talk about "fair"- was it "fair" that Jesus, a sinless man, died on the cross for my sins so that I could have salvation?-- That puts it in a whole new perspective, doesn't it? And, then once I started submitting, I realized my husband would not treat me like a doormat, it was basically a fear tactic I was buying into. You see, my submitting shows my husband that I respect and trust him to lead us.

 We came forth from man's ribs and were created for him. We are a part of him.

"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." *

This is my favorite "romantic" story. It thrills me to know that I was created for my husband; that my very design is for my husband. My purpose in life is to be a good help meet for him. Your husband is the glory of God, and you are the glory of your husband-- wow, now let that sink in! God created you to be a glory to your husband. Are you a glory if you don't submit and are constantly questioning his leadership and authority, or are you a thorn in his side and another hassle he has to deal with? You could have no better job or career than to be what God created you for. Feminism would have you be ashamed to be a submissive wife; I say there is no joy unless you are living as you were created by God, to be a help meet to your husband.

It is not good that man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him {Genesis 2:18}. Read that verse again, I will make an help meet FOR him, not a help meet to be his conscience, or question him; a help meet FOR him. Next time you are struggling with submission, ask yourself, am I FOR him? or am I going against him?

It was God's design, before the fall, that the woman's desire would be to her husband and that he would rule over her. This relationship was not punishment, but after the fall it would be a source of suffering for the woman. God created the woman to be the helper of the man-a sinless man. Now that she has lead him into sin, she is still his helper, her desires are still focused on him and his goals, and he will still rule over her as before-but now he is sinful, selfish, and carnal.*

Okay, I had to look this up to be sure; I had never heard anyone talk about  God's design for women before the fall. I found it to be true {Genesis 2:20}, and I also found out something else. According to Genesis 2:15, Adam's job was to dress and keep the garden of Eden. After the fall, his job was made harder because now there thorns and thistles. So neither of their "jobs" changed, only the difficulty of the job. Eve's design was to be a help meet to Adam, and sin didn't change this; sin only changed how hard it would be. God established that Eve would be a help meet to Adam before the fall, not after as I always believed.

It is not a question of being qualified; it is a matter of being authorized. God has established an order for the home, a chain of command that is consistent with the very nature of men and women. It is an order from the throne of Heaven that is healthiest and best for rearing of children and for the good of marital relationships.*

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: [Paul gives this as a New Testament mandate] for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law" {I Corinthians 14:34}. Paul anticipates those who would say that his commands concerning women are unique to a specific culture and not universally applicable. He points out that there is nothing new or unique about this command, for the law of the Jews had made such a distinction for hundreds of years.*

I have often heard people explain this by saying it was the culture of the time, and then again have heard these same people tell me "God's word is unchanging"-- that seems a little contradictory to me. I prefer to take God's word for what it says here. I don't believe in women "preachers" or women teaching men. I believe older women can teach the younger women {Titus 2:3} but not other men. It is not a question of being qualified; it is a matter of being authorized. But I know what God teaches about women, and I know that for you to be happy---really happy--- as I have been happy, you must follow and abide in God's role for women.*

I am another example of this. Before I read the book and learned about submission, I thought I was a good wife. I obeyed on the big things and I used technicalities for others {after all, if he didn't tell me not to do something, how could I be wrong, even though I knew he wouldn't like it?}. I am ashamed of the wife I was then, and while I am not perfect, I have peace that I am living as God has called me to. My husband is the head of our home; he leads us and his decision is final. And really, unless you have been practicing submission, I don't know that I can explain to you the peace that is in my heart from it. I wondered at first if I would be a doormat, but that is the biggest lie that I chose to believe. Our home is happier and more joyful now that I am not fighting my design and my husband. Now that proper leadership and authority has been established {husband, wife, children} in our home, there's more fun. We all know our place and I am thrilled to be his wife! Amazing things happen when you follow God's design for you.

When someone tells you that the Greek doesn't read submit, obey, or silence, just ask that person, "How is your marriage? Would you say it is glorious? Will God use your marriage as an example in Heaven of how he wants Christ and the Church to be?"*

This was my favorite part of the entire chapter. -----How is your marriage? I have been known to ask women this when they want to tell me that I am wrong for submitting and obeying. I have even asked a couple, "Are you truly happy? Can you lie down at night and feel confident that not obeying your husband is the right thing?" Some may tell you that yes, they are truly happy and I believe they are just lying to themselves, otherwise why are they so anxious and stressed about their marriage all the time? But for me, at the end of the day, I don't answer to them. I answer to God and my husband, and that is all that matters.

Traits of a Good Help Meet ~
* She fears God.
* She believes God's word as it is written
* She considers her position as a help meet a privileged command.*

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share this. 

I truly feel that my position as a help meet is a privileged command.
{The Happy Homemaker wrote this as my guest writer today!}

*Quotes from the book.