Friday, February 12, 2016

What is True Romance?

If you grew up watching movies, you knew you wanted a romantic husband. One who would give you flowers and candy. One who would always encourage you and tell you how beautiful you were. One who would write love letters to you telling you how special you are. After we got married and Ken didn't do these things {he was in seminary and working a lot}, I tried to manipulate him in doing them by being upset, nagging him, etc. It sure didn't work!

Now that we have been married 35 years, I know the romance that Hollywood portrays isn't true romance. Romance is Ken sitting by my hospital bed in ICU for hours on end and even sleeping in the car a few hours to get some much needed sleep. It's being there to tell the nurses that no, she doesn't need a big vial of antibiotics before they even knew what was wrong with me. No, she doesn't need shots in her stomach to prevent blood clots. It's also playing with the grandchildren and caring for them. It's loving his children and wanting to help them anyway he can. It's helping me when I need something heavy lifted, the trash taken out, and many others things I can no longer do. It's sticking by my side for 35 years through the ups and downs and still loving me.

If your husband gives you candy, flowers and sends you love letters, this is wonderful but it is not what makes a marriage. Deep, abiding and faithful love is what makes a marriage. If your husband isn't romantic the way you or Hollywood defines it but works hard to provide for your family, is faithful to you, and loves you, this is what is important.

What about husbands who forgets birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day? Are they bad husbands? I have seen women so upset that their husband didn't give them this or that that they wanted. They are very upset if they don't remember. Men can't read our mind and they are usually not good with the details such as these. Remind them! Even tell them what you would love to get as a gift, as long as it is not too extravagant. However, if they don't get if for you, so what. Forget about it and love them any ways.

True romance is loving each other through the good times and bad times, through sickness and health. It is being committed to each other until death do you part and being a vow keeper. It is being a living sacrifice to your spouse and learning what pleases him. It's not keeping secrets from him and quickly apologizing when you are wrong. Flowers, candy and romantic dates are all nice but they are not what marriage is about. Remember that this Valentine's Day, will you?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Matthew 19:6