What Makes a Woman Lovely?

To win your husband’s heart, become lovely. You can be fat or skinny and still be lovely. You can be young or old, smart or dumb, but you must be lovely if you want to be loved. Don’t assume you have rights as a wife. Earn your place in his heart and he will be faithful to you. Men don’t fish in another lake if the fish are still biting in the one they’re familiar with. {Michael Pearl}

I posted this quote on my Facebook Always Learning page and a woman asked me what I thought lovely was to a man. I asked my chat room for ideas and these are what they believe makes a woman lovely to her husband. {Many asked their husbands what they thought.}

Many wrote things about being joyful: smiling, laughing, having fun, positive. When asked around the world what attracts men to women the most, it is being happy or joyful. They like a woman who is positive and sees the best in life instead of focusing on the negative and ugly. I have noticed that more people "like" my comments that are more encouraging and uplifting than the comments bemoaning the state our country is presently in.

Other things that make a woman lovely is her countenance: kindness, peaceful, encouraging, caring, not critical, a safe place for him, respectful, submissive, forgiving, not second guessing him, simple, good attitude, willing heart, unconditional love, encourager, eagerness to serve him, gentle and quiet spirit. Do you see how these are all positive traits as well? Men don't like any negative traits in a woman. No one likes them. They don't like to be around a moody, critical, disrespectful, unforgiving and unkind person. All of the positive traits listed are qualities we should all aspire to become in order to make ourselves lovely.

Did you notice that costly clothing, jewelry, fancy shoes or long, fake fingernails were not on the list that makes a woman lovely to a man as our culture pushes on us as beautiful? However, men like their wives to look nice for them. They don't want them in sweat pants and no makeup all of the time. They are visual in nature and love to look at lovely things, especially a lovely wife. They want her to be feminine and affectionate. These are qualities of a lovely woman. They want her to be a safe place for him to be himself and not be scolded by her as if they were a child. They love it if she is a good cook and tries to fix food that they enjoy. Finally, they want a wife who is a hard worker; who doesn't sit around watching soap operas and scrolling through Facebook all day whose home is a mess and there's no dinner on the table.

If you are a godly woman, you should desire to make yourself lovely to your husband. Did you notice that there wasn't a word about whether or not they were fat or skinny, young or old, smart or dumb? Loveliness makes up for all of these. A beautiful woman who is not lovely becomes ugly real quickly. Aspire to be a lovely woman and draw your husband to yourself. Nothing is more attractive to a man than having a lovely wife.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-5