Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Motherhood is NOT Stress-Free and Easy!


Motherhood is exhausting. Sleep is no longer uninterrupted. Our time is definitely no longer our own. We are constantly in a state of serving others whether it be our children or our husband. I get it. I felt the same way!

One woman from the chat room wrote, "I feel like I do pretty well at the wife stuff, but not so good with the mom stuff. We have four children and I love them dearly but I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with all of their needs and trying to get stuff done. We hardly ever leave the house but when we HAVE to {doctor appointments, church}, it's so stressful for me. I'm starting to wonder if I overestimated my abilities when we decided to have our fourth baby. I wish I was better at this."

Lindsay responded, "Don't judge your motherhood ability by how easy it is for you or how streamlined and efficient everything goes. Judge your motherhood abilities by the things that matter.

How healthy and happy are your children? Do they know and love God? Are they learning the things they need to know? Are they developing good character, including honesty, hard work, compassion for others, and so on? Do they have self-control? Are they becoming well-balanced people? These are the things that matter.

Sure, it's nice if everything is stress-free and easy, but I really don't know too many moms who have it that way, especially when the kids are young. Keep the long term goals in mind and keep going.


Satan's goal is to get mothers in their exhaustion to dislike homemaking and raising children. He wants them to focus on what they're missing "out there" and all the things they could be doing instead. He wants them to think that they have little worth in the home where the Lord wants them. He wants everything opposite of what God wants for them. If he can get them discontent and unhappy, he has won the battle.

God commands women to be keepers at home. He tells us we are saved through childbearing meaning this is His will for us. It's simple really. There's nothing complicated about what He wants the majority of women doing with their lives since nothing can compare with the job the Lord has given us to do. What is the man's job? It is to provide for his wife and children. Do you see how important family is to our God and how our lives, whether male or female, should revolve around our families? God even says that He puts the lonely in families {Psalm 68:6}.

Many think that a man's job is better? This is foolish. A woman gets the privilege of having a child kick around and be formed inside of her. She gets to nurse this child at her breast and rock him/her throughout the day. She gets to be home with her children loving, disciplining and training them while her husband is out working hard to provide for her to be home. Oh, foolish and deceived feminists. What havoc and destruction they have caused on this beautiful creation of the family that the Lord has created just for women.

Yes, motherhood is stressful and difficult at times, especially if you have many children but this is what the Lord has called you to do. Remember, we are called to be living sacrifices. The rewards are very great! Our culture seeks rewards in things, getting their way, becoming great, seeking fame and fortune, etc. God says the greatest of all is the servant of all. If you spend your life serving your family, you will be rewarded for God promises us that we reap what we sow.

The following verse sums up perfectly God's will for us.

When you {the husband} shall eat of the fruit of your hands {from his labor}, You will be happy and it will be well with you.Your wife will be like a fruitful vine {bearing children} within your house {keeper at home}; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.
Psalm 128:2-4

Comments (22)

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When I was a pre-teen I worked as a mother’s helper for the family that lived across the street. Two or 3 days per week I went over and helped her with the kids, usually just played with them, while the mom got some housework or laundry done. Sometimes I helped with the housework while the kids napped. It was a win-win for both of us; she got a chance to catch up and I learned a little about child care. Perhaps this stressed-out woman knows a young girl who could give her a hand.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:4
1 reply · active 477 weeks ago
That's a wonderful idea, Sue, if there is a young girl around that wants to do something like this.
Blessed Wife's avatar

Blessed Wife · 477 weeks ago

I received a wonderful book from my husband for Christmas called The Perfect Heart...Ushering Your Children into God's Presence. The author is Jeri Williams. This book is amazing and full of encouragement for moms of any age. I would encourage all mom to read this book. It is full of scripture and God's love pours out from the authors words.
We can be told by anyone to do this or that and how to do it but if we are not filled first with our Savior's love and have the intimacy with Him that He so desires we will see our "duties" as a wife/mother as just that....a "duty" and will then be filled with frustration and anxiety. It's not first what we are called to be but instead "who" we are called to be in Him first. If that foundation of our identity (how God sees us as His child) is not firm than it will be a difficult road ahead.
Again this book is a gem.
1 reply · active 477 weeks ago
It sounds like an amazing book, Blessed Wife! Thank you for the recommendation.
I am so happy. We are expecting our eighth child and just shared the news with our children less than an hour ago. This house is wild with excitement and we all want to tell everyone we meet....and I had to tell you all!!
2 replies · active 477 weeks ago
Congratulations, Amanda! This is wonderful news. The most exciting thing for children is getting a new sibling. You are blessed!
Congratulations Amanda and family!!
Preach it!! :)
1 reply · active 477 weeks ago
Thanks, Diana! I love to teach younger women all of God's wonderful ways! :)
Lori you wrote: 'He tells us we are saved through childbearing meaning this is His will for us'. This is such incorrect interpretation of Scripture. Woman are not saved through their childbearing we are saved through the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:8 says: 'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God'. I know this comment will be moderated but this message is for you Lori.
9 replies · active 477 weeks ago
I never said that women would be saved through childbearing but bearing children is God's will for women, Rhonda. I absolutely know that the only way to be saved eternally is by faith through Jesus Christ our Lord and His shed blood for us.
So what do you mean by 'He tells us we are saved through childbearing meaning this is His will for us'.
It is just what I said. God's will for women is to bear children. This is the role He created us for; to be our husband's help meet and to bear children. We are called to be home with our children {keepers at home} and raising, disciplining and training them.
Possibly for some but not all. I have two adult children but I know God's will for my life, as I have the gift of prophecy, is to hold the Church accountable for it's actions. If I disregard this spiritual gift I have been given I would be grieving the Holy Spirit.
The scripture is clear that women are not to be in positions of spiritual authority over men in the church. Thus, if you have the gift of prophecy, it is not meant to hold the church accountable, but to spread truth to your family and mentor younger women. Your God-given gifts will always be meant to be used within the authority structure that God has set up for the family and the church. If you attempt to use your gifts in ways that are unbiblical, you will be outside the will of God. No spiritual gift gives any person license to disregard the clear teaching of God's word.
Amen! You are biblically correct, Lindsay. Thank you.
Amen Lindsay!!!
Lori didn't pull the saved through childbearing out from the air. It is written in 1 Tim. 2:15 "But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety." We know this is not in contradiction to being saved through the blood of Christ or else it wouldn't be a part of scripture. This isn't salvation from sin or else infertile or single women wouldn't have hope.

Also any spiritual gift you have must be used within the context of scripture. You might have the gift of prophecy but it doesn't exempt you from all other scriptures concerning the Lord's will for your life. Just because you might be called to "hold the church accountable" (which I've never heard any woman being called to do scripturally) doesn't mean that you don't have to love your neighbor as yourself, or give to the poor, be hospitable, or shine your light to unbelievers. If you have been called to do something it means you do it in conjunction with all else the Lord has already clearly called for us to do in scripture. It doesn't mean you can say, "Well I don't have to love my neighbor as myself because I know God called me to hold the church accountable." God made us able to do more than one thing at a time.
Ken has told me that I have the gift of prophecy many times which simply means "But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort" {1 Cor. 14:3}.

Thank you for your very wise comment, Michelle!
In the article the lady mentions how she hardly ever leaves the house with her children. I am wondering if this is a bad thing? I get a lot of flack for not being a social butterfly, but I think I have to prioritize, and my responsibilities don't really leave a lot of time for me to be flitting about creation and visiting at a different house every day of the week for hours long play dates. Some of my friends have been offended and chided me for not being more 'hospitable.' They say I use my motherhood as a reason to not be a good friend and that my children will suffer if they don't have a view of what other godly households are like, if I keep them home day after day, if I have different views on which movies, video games, activities, etc. than the rest of the group of Christians around us -- that it will cause divisions and make my kids bitter, resentful, rebellious. I haven't been in anyone else's faces about their personal choices for their families, and don't even see anything wrong with the way they lead their households, those choices just wouldn't be good for our family, but I have never even discussed those things with anyone but my husband. Yet my friends say when our children leave our home they will never have a good relationship again with their parents because they will see how much they have missed out on, and I am stunting their social growth because we don't have a lot of room to have people over very often. (We have a family of 9 and live in a single wide 3 bed mobile home, it is clean, comfy, and organized, but we are pretty stacked on each other, so when we can, we plan to meet people elsewhere for fellowship and such.) Money wise, time wise, and some other 'wises' I feel I am doing right by the children, but, I don't like being out in the odd ball camp, especially if I am wrong? Please, do you have some wise words? Not meaning to sound whiny, just confused about where the line is between family, friends, hospitality, Christian service, and mentoring responsibilities. How to prioritize without neglecting or just plain stinking at one?
1 reply · active 477 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 477 weeks ago

Hi RG, I don't think you are doing anything wrong by taking care of your family first. God calls you to be a keeper of the home. Also, with 9 children, I can only imagine how hard it would be to get everyone ready and going. I have more free time now as our son will be graduating from public school this year, yet I am still not a social butterfly. I often find when I try to get together with other ladies the time is spent complaining about their husbands/church/other people and I know I have a tendency to lean toward negative thoughts about others enough as it is, I don't need the help of others to get me bitter ect... I have found I am better off having a get together with family or friends when everyone can be involved (less gossiping that way). When our son was small, we didn't let him go for sleep overs allot, because I felt like his daddy worked all week and weekends should be spent with him. Yes, we did occasionally, but his cousins called every weekend and would want him to stay all weekend. Well, because I wouldn't let him, I was often told that I never let the doctor cut the umbilical cord when he was born (they were trying to be funny and probably thought it would upset me enough to let him go, but it didn't). All of this to say, don't worry about what some "friends" say, because I promise you, if they weren't complaining about this, it would be something else you were doing "wrong". Always do what you know God has called you to do and let what others say go. I know it's not easy because you won't what's best for your children and people will always "know" better than you, but if you are doing what God has called you to do, you are not wrong!
Hi Lori, thank you for this post. I homeschool my 4 children. It is a big time investment. I am not able to go t the gym as much or lead these amazing church related ministries or travel with my husband like other Christian friends do who have just as many children but all of their kids are in public school so they have a lot more time. I am struggling with feeling like what I do is enough. Most evenings we have dinner then sports or dance for the kids some nights and my husband leads a Bible devotion.

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