Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Is Viewing Pornography Adultery?

Many people think that men viewing pornography is the same as committing physical adultery. This gives women whose husband's view pornography a biblical excuse to divorce them. Is this a biblical excuse to divorce one's husband?

The dictionary defines adultery as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.  Men viewing pornography are not having sexual intercourse with someone else. They may be having it in their minds {lust} but masturbation is not the same thing as adultery. If lust were a cause for divorce, then every single woman could divorce her husband, since all men have lusted at one time or another.

I think this needs to be clear so women stop using it as an excuse for divorce.  The majority of men have had sex with another woman in their minds {lust} at one point in their lives.  Christian men know it is wrong so they battle it and try to keep their minds from going there.

Men's battle is with their sexual nature just as women battle their emotional nature.  Lust and pornography are sins just as moodiness, anger, and the silent treatment are in women. 
Pornography is absolutely a cancer in our society.  I don't want to downplay its destructive influence in any way.  However, it is a trap that many men have fallen into just as many women have fallen into the trap of given into their emotional tantrums.

The only sin the Bible gives as an excuse for divorce is adultery.  Pornography is not adultery.  If we say that it is we are giving many women an excuse for divorce which leads to so much harm.  Yes, pornography leads to a lot of harm but so do all other sins.

We must remember that when Jesus was speaking about this issue, He was speaking to Jews who were still under the Law and was making the Law even more narrow so they would see their need for a Savior. There was no way they could keep the whole Law without stumbling.

Help your man in his battle with pornography if he has one.  Pray for him. Win him without a word by your godly behavior as the Bible commands. Support him and love him.  There are good groups like Celebrate Recovery he can join if he wants an accountability group but don't give up on your husband because he sins.  Hopefully, he hasn't given up on you because you sin.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,
compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness,
and patience, bearing with one another and,
if one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you,
so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:12,13