The Curse Of Being First Born

Controlling.  I would love to control everybody around me...I always think I know best.  My youngest daughter, Cassi, is not controlling at all.  Neither is my youngest sister, Debbi.  Ryan, who is my second born pictured above, is the opposite of controlling.   They have no desire to control others.  How freeing that must be!

I nearly destroyed my marriage because I was so controlling.  The bottom line of being controlling is selfishness, wanting my own way.  I have learned to battle this curse, ie. sin.  I don't want to be controlling.  Other people don't like being controlled.  I know I sure wouldn't want to be controlled by someone else.

Now there are some positives about being the first born.  They are usually born leaders and have strong personalities.  They can be trained for good things...good leaders and teachers.  All personality types have positive and negative qualities.

The key is to know what your negatives are and work on getting rid of them.  Acknowledge that they are wrong.  Recognizing and admitting your sin is the first step to getting rid of it.  Then ask the Lord to help you overcome it.  Realize the freedom you have in Christ and let His Spirit work inside of you.

So to all you firstborns out there who are controlling, recognize it and repent of it!  It destroys marriages and relationships.  Let people be who they are and do what they want to do.  Life is much more pleasant and peaceful this way.  Others will even want to have you around.  Hopefully, Emma, a first born, will not follow in her grandmother's footsteps!

Work at living in peace with everyone,

and work at living a holy life,

for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.

Hebrews 12:14

Mutual Submission?

Many in the church believe in and teach the mutual submission of husbands to wives. There is a very important scriptural command to the church that we are to, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” {Ephesians 5:21}. This verse for many becomes the cornerstone of their theology for the marriage relationship.  I love the concept of mutual submission, and Lori and I practice it as a big part of our marriage, but it is not all that God teaches as He has ordained husband leadership for the Christian marriage.

If we take just a brief overview of the issue of marriage submission in the scriptures we find 5-7 clear teachings on the subject which all ask the wife to specifically “submit to, be subject to, obey and respect” her husband. If mutual submission is intended for the marriage, why are wives specifically singled out 5-7 times to be submissive and men are told they are to be head of the wife as Christ is head of the church? Was this a typo?

Taking a closer look at Ephesians 5:21 one discovers that it comes just after admonitions to the church as a whole. It is an important principle that in the spirit of brotherly love we each submit to and defer to our brothers and sisters in the church, especially in areas of disagreement. But Paul goes on in the very next verses to further clarify what submission is to look like in a marriage:

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. {Ephesians  5:21-24}

So the very next verse after the verse on mutual submission is a specific admonition to wives to submit to their husbands. Wives are to submit to their husbands “as the church submits to Christ… in everything.”

If mutual submission was intended for a marriage, then should we not by correlation assume that mutual submission is intended between Christ and His church? Is Christ to in any way submit to His church and can we read “as the church submits to Christ” any way other than Lordship? … in everything?

Go a step further and look up the other passages on the submission of the wife to the husband and you will see more clearly that to apply mutual submission to marriage makes these other passages of scripture impractical and worthless. For instance, look at Colossians 3:18-22 and tell me how one can reconcile children being obedient to parents and slaves to masters if mutual submission is the intent of the Word of God for all believers.   

Are elders to be mutually submissive to their congregations, or are the members to obey and submit to their leaders? Why is it we have little trouble understanding the need for an ultimate leader and submissiveness in the church to our elders, to parents from their children, to citizens to their government, yet we struggle so badly with submission of wives to their husbands? It cannot be a question of “equality,” or “worth,” for few of us as parents believe our children to be less important than we are, but instead love and serve them, just as we expect our church leaders to love and serve us, while being our respected leaders. 

No, it is not that the Word of God is unclear on the subject. I think it is pure fear that drives many away from teaching the important subject of submission exactly as the scriptures teach it. It is fear on the part of the preacher that his followers cannot buy into a hierarchy of leadership in marriage as the Christian wife will feel inferior, or worse yet, her husband may take advantage of her with his new found role of leader. And you know those Christian husbands out there. What wife can trust them to actually love her “as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her?” 

What a scary thought to actually trust God at His word and allow a husband to make mistakes in leadership, all the while becoming the man that the Spirit is leading him to be. 

No, it is much easier to stay in control and to wait, patiently of course, for God to turn my husband into a great and loving leader who has earned my respect so that I can finally feel free to submit to him. I mean, shouldn’t my children wait for me to be a great parent before obeying, and my elders must become great leaders before I can follow them? Why is it that government gets leadership respect yet a husband somehow makes his wife not his equal if he is to be leader of the home?

Fear has been causing the destruction of marriage after marriage in our modern female led Christian families. We claim mutual submission when many Christian marriages are led by the wife, all under the excuse that my husband will not lead the way I think he should. Yet, as Lori and others rightly point out, so much of marriage leadership is usurped by the wife who uses her body language, tone of voice, and withdrawal of sex to control her man, all the while pining for him to take some real leadership. Many wives long for a godly marriage yet want to stay in control out of fear that God can do all things, but I cannot trust Him to turn my husband into the man of my dreams. For this I must lead and control.

There is a simple principle of the Christian life that says, "If you do things God’s ways, no matter how different they are from the world, and no matter how hard they may be to understand, or accept, you will reap God’s blessings. Man’s blessings can be good, but they are nothing in comparison to the blessings God gives when we live life His way, and according to His commands: “Wives submit to your husbands in everything and husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church.” Both commands are the responsibility of each spouse independent of the other fulfilling their role. This is how Christ wins each one of us and His church. He gives us His all on the cross, and shows us the way to God, “even while we were yet sinners” winning us over, into the family of God.

Will you husband love your wife and serve her until she submits to the Word of God and allows you to lead? Will you wife test God by fully trusting Him to keep His promise that you “can win your man without a word,” just by your godly behavior of respect, obedience and joyfully walking in the Spirit? 

May we all shine the life of Christ that is in us by being obedient to His Word, even if His promises are slow in coming, and without waiting for our spouse to first do their part. May we instead be like Christ who waited on no one to become the Servant of all so that He could create the family of God. May those who teach God's Word teach all of it, and find those special reasons why God's Word clearly teaches not only mutual submission, but the submission of the wife to her husband's imperfect leadership. 

For God the Father and Son are equals in all things, yet, the Son says, "Not My will. but thine be done." Is this not the perfect model for marriage? Within mutual submission is found one amongst equals who is willing to allow the other to lead so that they may together make a glorious family.

Ken

What If He Dies?

This is an excuse many women use for pursuing a career; their husband may die and who would take care of them then?  The Proverbs 31 woman didn't have a career yet she smiled at the future. Why?  Simple, she trusted God and His provision for her.

God calls most women to be wives and mothers but few women are listening to that call anymore.  We have listened to the lies of society that we need to take care of ourselves and get an education and career.  We cannot depend upon a man to take care of us.

God's design is for men to take care of their wives and children.  If this is His design, as we obey Him, He will take care of us.  I am presently reading a book given to me by one of the women I mentor.  It is titled On The Other Side Of The Garden.  It is very good.  Here is a quote from the late actress Ava Gardner pictured above ~

"I act for money, no other reason. Since I made my first picture in 1941, I have not done a thing that is worthwhile.  I have never enjoyed making films and I do not like being a so called film star.  I have not the emotional make-up for it, nor the love of exhibitionism.  I am much too shy."  Gardner once said she grew up hoping to find "one good man I could love and marry and cook for and make a home for, who would stick around for the rest of my life.  I never found him.  If I had, I would have traded my career in a minute."

Mrs. Fugate, the author, goes on to write ~

A woman who devotes her life to living Biblical womanhood chooses the most important career that any woman can possibly pursue.  The Biblical woman is the only one who can support her husband and so encourage him to be everything God intends for him to be.  A Biblical wife, by her submission, can be a testimony of Christ's selfless sacrifice in His submission to the plan of God the Father.  Her success as a Biblical wife is a confirmation of God's provision and her submission in marriage is a picture of the church's relationship to Christ.  Her dedication to her family, guided by her knowledge of the principles of Biblical womanhood, will provide the stability her children need as preparation for meeting the challenges of adulthood.  A woman can search to the ends of the earth for a way to serve God, but she will never find a higher calling or a more fulfilling one than that of helpmate to her own husband.

If God has called most {not all but most} women to be wives and mothers,

we can trust that He will provide for them.  Now remember, I am not opposed to women going to college and having careers, just make sure you count the cost and consider carefully the reasons for doing so.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the future.

Proverbs 31:25

Mothers Have A Powerless Role?

Do women in our society who choose to be full-time wives, mothers and homemakers have a powerless role in our society as some would have us believe? After all, young girls are not supposed to say that all they want to be when they grow up is a wife and mother. They must say something like doctor, nurse, school teacher, lawyer, etc. or they will be frowned upon. One woman made this comment on one of my posts about women being keepers at home.

This is her quote ~

Feminists will go to college and achieve all the high-paying, powerful positions. Going to law school, for example, will allow them to make and interpret the laws. Are you sure you want to advise Christian women to assume a powerless role in society?

Raising godly children who walk with Jesus, work hard, and grow up to be men and women of integrity will impact society much more than being a lawyer or some other high-powered job she could be doing. We don't need more women in high powered jobs as much as we need women who train and teach their children God's ways, discipline them for the purpose of teaching them self-control, and raise law-abiding citizens who contribute to making our society a better place.

I think if all the Christians heeded God's command to be fruitful and multiply and raised godly offspring, which God says is the purpose of marriage {Malachi 2:15}, our society would not be in the mess it is right now. Too many mothers have left their homes and their children to be raised by strangers and we are suffering the consequences.

When a lot of mothers were at home raising their children like in past generations, our nation was a much safer nation to live in. Children had mothers and fathers and felt loved and cared for. Now, they are lonely and looking ways to fill that void through drugs, pornography, and violence

So no, dear commenter, I am not advising Christian women to assume a powerless role in society but a powerful one. I will continue to teach women to be keepers at home, if it is at all possible for them, and raise children who walk in Truth for there is no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth {I John 1:4}. I know this to be true since I have four grown children who all walk in Truth and are contributing to society in good ways as disciplined, hard working citizens who truly love others. 

picture source

Homemade Emeril's Essence

We use this seasoning on so many things!  We use it whenever we BBQ, when we grill fish, when we roast chicken, on hamburger, salmon, or turkey burgers, spicy oven fried potatoes, etc. The list goes on and on.  It is SO much cheaper to make than to buy.  I get most of my ingredients from Mountain Rose Herbs in bulk.  They are much cheaper than the stores and they are all organic.  Costco has a lot of them also, most of them are not organic, however.

2 1/2 tablespoon paprika

2 tablespoons salt

2 tablespoons garlic powder

1 tablespoon black pepper

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon dried oregano

1 tablespoon dried thyme

Combine all ingredients thoroughly and put into a shaker.

Being Falsely Accused

How do I handle it when my husband falsely accuses me? I want to be submissive, but do I just say "yes, dear" even when it is not true and he knows it? He has anger issues and wants to blame me whenever anything goes wrong. I find myself trying to prevent things from going wrong. My husband gets angry at me for doing that. But if I don't, and things go wrong, then he takes it out on me, too. Could you please tell me how to handle this? How am I supposed to submit in this situation?

This was a question posed to me on my post entitled In Rebellion To God in which I share what God has been teaching me about submission and what it truly looks like in every area of my life.  I have been asked this question recently from several young women.

The last several mornings I have been reading and meditating on I Peter 2 and 3.  I encourage all of you to study it because God gives us an amazing picture of what true submission looks like.  I wrote to this woman and told her she needs to respond in silence for Scripture tells us our adorning as wives needs to be "the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price."{I Peter 3:4}

I Peter 2:20 we are told, "if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God" and in I Peter 3:14, "But and if ye suffer for righteousness; sake, happy are ye:  and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled."

Let us examine two situations.  A husband falsely accuses a wife of spending money she didn't spend.  She yells back at him and tells him off.  "I did not!  Stop calling me a liar!  You always accuse me of things that are false!"  Then she storms out of the room, slams the door, and gives him the cold shoulder for the next week.

Another husband falsely accuses a wife of spending money she didn't spend.  The wife simply responds, "No, I didn't spend that money and I am truly sorry if you don't believe me."  He continues to falsely accuse her and she simply sits there quietly listening to him.  When he is finished, she gets up and goes about her work in the home with no anger towards him, no cold shoulder, but continues to treat him with love and respect.

Which one do you think has a better chance of winning her husband?  God knows what works!  We will win them without a word.  We are to heap burning coals {tons of love} upon our enemies' heads for it is love that wins others, including our husbands, not a tongue lashing or arguing.

Marital Oneness, Make Your Home Sing

Fertility Has An Expiration Date. Careers Don’t!

Most women will be able to conceive naturally and give birth to a healthy baby if they get pregnant at 35. After 35 the proportion of women who experience infertility, miscarriage or a problem with their baby increases. By the age of 40 only two in five of those who wish to have a baby will be able to do so. {Your Age And Fertility}

I understand there are many women out there who want to be married and have children over careers.  I am not writing to you.  If this is your heart's desire, you must give it to the Lord and wait on His perfect timing and will in your life. If you never get married or have a child, He will be with you to comfort you and give you strength. He always has and He always will.

I am writing to you who think getting a career is very important. I see these high-powered women who have spent years in college to get degrees with loads of debt. Some of them aren't married but would love to be. Others would love to be able to stay home and raise their babies but can't because of all of their debt and education.

If that is what you want, go for it. However, if you want to be a wife and mother more than anything else, pursue something that won't prevent you from getting married young and having babies. Never take your fertility for granted. They are few precious years and they go by quickly.

Take care of your health from an early age. Stay away from estrogen-producing foods and items, like plastic.  An anti-estrogenic diet is simple and delicious. It has three main points: Eat down on the food chain. Eat foods that are more in tune with our genetic makeup such as fruits, vegetables, beans, roots, nuts, seeds, eggs, dairy and wild-caught fish.  Minimize foods treated with chemicals. Eat as much organic food as possible, and avoid synthetic vitamins.  Supplement your diet with nutrients that support your hormones.

{The Anti-Estrogen Diet}

Take action to protect your fertility from an early age, then allow God to do the rest.  Seek God's wisdom in what you should do with your life after high school.  College isn't for everyone as I have said many times before. Stop listening to society and begin listening to God.

Seek the Lord and his strength;

seek his presence continually!

I Chronicles 16:11

***  The above picture is one of my wonderful readers who loves 
being a wife, mother, and keeper at home.  

Rebellious Harlots Of Babylon

Are you raising a rebellious harlot of Babylon or a beautiful Bride of Christ?  The feminist movement has been giving the message that women must become more assertive, independent, and demanding of their rights.  This is completely opposite of what God wants women to become.  It is self-seeking and goes contrary to the servant attitude of Christ.  As a result, our society is crumbling at its foundation, the home.

Look around at the teenagers today. I recall a man telling of his taking his son to his first day of junior high. Out in front were gathered a group of young girls dressed in tight short clothing and tons of makeup. He immediately turned the car around and said he wasn't going to drop his son off to a bunch of hookers.

As mothers we must be careful as we raise our daughters not to pursue worldly things and worldly appearances.Often Christian mothers are so into how their daughters look, and how they dress, that they give off the wrong messages. It is no wonder that prom night arrives and we find our Christian young ladies dressed just like the world, boobs hanging out and dresses slit up to the butt, and then we lament that it was at the all night party she lost her virginity. 

Girls are taught to be strong and aggressive taking over the roles of men and even desiring to fight on the front lines in battle. They have been taught to never depend upon a man and they can even act like men: sleep around, call them on the phone and ask them out, go boldly after what they want, have a career spent all day away from home, etc.

God, on the other hand, asks women to pursue godliness. He tells us to be pure and have a gentle and quiet spirit. He wants us to dress modestly and in the King James version we are commanded to be "shamefaced" which is the opposite of bold and flirtatious.

However, it doesn't mean we don't exude the joy of the Lord. We should be joyful, warm, and cheerful. If a young man is interested in you, young women, be friendly and talk to him but not dominating the conversation or aggressively flirtatious.

Mothers, train your daughters in the ways of the Lord. Teach them how to represent Christ in all they say and do.  Encourage them to flee the ways of the world, the rebellious harlots of Babylon, and walk along the narrow path of freedom that Jesus has created for us to walk upon.  This path of righteousness springs forth with living water where they will find long lasting joy.

And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
 She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home.

Proverbs 7:10, 11

They Never Argue!

My whole college gang reunited for a wedding in Pasadena this past weekend. It was the first time we have all been together for many years. My best friend, Sandy, was among the group.  I asked her if she ever argues with her husband. She looked at her husband, Peter, and said, "We have never argued! We discuss things but we don't argue."

She then told me that if they are discussing something and she feels that Peter is wrong, she just lets it go because she said it is no big deal to her. She doesn't insist on being understood or being right.

They have a wonderful marriage. They are very happy together. You can tell she respects him by her body language towards him. She smiles at him frequently. She looks into his eyes when he talks. She never interrupts him when he is speaking. She gives him honor.

Sandy is looking really good. I told Peter this and he told me Sandy takes care of herself.  he exercises a lot and doesn't eat too much. He told me there aren't too many hot 54 year old women around but he thinks she is one hot babe!

Sandy knows how to do marriage. She models it to anyone that watches. I had another college friend who told me not arguing just comes naturally to Sandy but not to her. I told her if I gave her a ton of money to stop arguing, she would stop. She told me that would give her the motivation she needed to not argue.

God's Word should give you the motivation to not argue. It tells us over and over again that arguing and strife should not have any part of us. We should be at peace with all men, including our husbands. I told her it took me awhile to stop arguing all the time. I had to bite my tongue a lot. She told me my tongue must have been quite bloody!

So I figure if Sandy and Peter can go their whole marriage without arguing so can I and so can you. Let your husband have the last word and be wrong. So what! You have pleased your husband, retained peace in your marriage, and pleased the Lord. Nothing is better than being at peace with others.

One's desire for one's rights must be put aside, with a recognition that the tearing apart of one's own house with one's bare hands is a ridiculous price to pay to win an argument. 

{Edith Schaeffer}

Take my 30 Day Challenge to stop arguing with your husband. 
It will change your marriage!!!

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies;

you know that they breed quarrels.

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone...

2 Timothy 2:23,24

Here are 186 verses concerning strife.  Study and meditate upon them if you struggle with arguing with your husband and see how strife is far from the heart of God.

photo source

New Creatures In Christ

One woman commented on this post Take Porn By The Horn and said some mean things about Michael Pearl.  We are to speak evil of no man so I won't allow comments that speak evil of others on my blog.  We are to speak out about sin and evil but not speak evil of any one man in particular.

 She was upset that Michael Pearl would tell people that he never looked at porn.  For some reason, she thinks this is the wrong information to tell others.  We need to give them steps to overcoming their sins and be sympathetic instead.

I was raised in churches that preached that gospel, the "ragamuffin gospel" and frankly, I'm sick of it.  "Oh, you sin, so do I" and "I am just a sinner saved by grace" type of nonsense.  I want to be reminded who I am in Christ.  I want to hear I am freed from sin and dead to sin and I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

I want to be encouraged to walk blamelessly as Paul said he did.  I want to adorn the gospel by being obedient and not blaspheme it by being disobedient.  I want hope of being able to overcome any sin by the blood that was shed for me and the power that raised Christ from the dead that lives inside of me.

Michael preaches this.  Paul preaches this.  Paul never calls believers sinners.  He calls us saints.  We are new creatures who can choose to walk in holiness.  Yes, we will chose to sin at times but it is no longer who we are or how we live our lives.  Sin doesn't define us anymore.

We are called to be salt and light to a dark and decaying world.  I love having preachers who walk the talk and aren't afraid of saying it and admonishing their listeners to do the same.  We have the Creator of the universe living inside of us.  If our gospel can't free us from sin, it is a weak gospel indeed.

My gospel is powerful!  My God lives inside of me and has given me everything I need for life and godliness.  I believe Him!  His Word is truth.  I rejoice that I no longer have to walk in sin and be a slave to sin, but I can walk in holiness and be a slave to righteousness.

Read your Bible.  Read Ephesians and see how many times it says, "in Christ."  Read Romans 6 and 8 and who it says we are now that we believe. Now, start believing who you are in Christ and start living it.  You can, you know!  Oh, to God be all the glory!

But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit,

if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you...
And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin;
but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

Romans 8:9,10

Finer Things

Hearty Chicken Parmesan

 

  

This is an easy dinner to make if you are feeding a crowd.
It is definitely my family's and guest's favorite dinner!

In a large pan:

Melt one stick of butter.

Take 6-8 boneless, skinless chicken breast

and cut them into long, narrow strips.

Lay in the chicken on top of the butter.

In blender or Cuisinart add:

3 slices of whole wheat bread or my homemade bread

1 cup of Parmesan cheese

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon sea salt

Several stems of parsley or cilantro, if desired

Blend until crumbly.

Spread bread mixture over chicken.

Sprinkle with paprika.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. 

If it starts getting too brown, cover with tin foil.

I put this on top of my Homemade Spaghetti Sauce and

whole wheat pasta with some Parmesan cheese.

My Trusty Theracane and Knobbler!

"What is that?" you may ask.  Well, I have another story of pain I endured in hopes of helping some of you.  Several months before I had my neck fused, I started developing severe pain in my right shoulder. I felt sure it was tendinitis because I had it before many years ago.

After my neck was fused, my shoulder was hurting me more than my neck. Ken wanted me to get cortisone shots in it. My physical therapists wanted me to come in so he could exercise it. No way! I couldn't even stand to move my arm at all it hurt so much.

It was a constant, throbbing pain. If any of you have had tendinitis in your shoulder that led to a completely frozen shoulder, you know what I mean.  So I got on the Internet and researched shoulder tendinitis.  I found Trigger Point Therapy.  I also ordered a Theracane and a Knobbler.

The doctor who wrote the book is a cardiologist. She noticed that her heart patients would develop frozen shoulder from laying around for so long. She said the tendinitis became more painful for her patients than their heart problems. I had been laying around for a long time because of my neck pain.

Every day I started massaging the painful spots slowly six to twelve times about every three hours. In the beginning, I had a ton of painful spots. Slowly they started improving and eventually were completely well. I could even lift my arm over my head.

If you suffer from shoulder tendinitis or any other type of muscle pain in your back, arms, or legs, I highly recommend the Theracane and Knobbler. The Knobbler is great if you have pain in your neck area or legs. These have been a lifesaver for me!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of mercies and God of all comfort:  
who comforts us in all our afflictions
so that we may be able to comfort those
who are in any affliction with the comfort
with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3,4

Mike The Postman

Mike works on the campus of Penn State University in State College, Pennsylvania as a postman.  Students wait in long lines just to buy stamps even when they don't want to because they want to see Mike.  "He makes my day!"

He lives by the motto, "If you can't say something nice about someone, you're just not looking hard enough."  When students come up to the counter, he will compliment their nails, their shoes, or even their handwriting.  He has been this way with every customer every day for 38 years.  He believes kindness begets kindness.  The students even bring him gifts to show their appreciation.

He also believes, "It's not what you do in life, it's how you do it."  When the post office insisted he take down his bulletin board full of posters and pictures, the students protested and he was able to keep them up.  He has made a huge impact on these students just by talking to them briefly at a counter.

Ken and I are reading through I John right now.  We read this the other day, "And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment."{I John 3:23}  I immediately said to Ken, "Do you know how many women out there disobey this command and don't love their husbands?"

Mike is a good example of who we should all strive to be.  Find the best in others.  Speak encouraging words often to them.  Be joyful.  So, find the best in your husband.  Speak encouraging words to him often and be joyful with him.  Most of all, love him deeply just as he is now.  This is the best Valentine's gift you can give him.

This was taken from CBS Sunday Morning.

Make Discipline Effective

The Bible speaks very clearly about child discipline because it doesn't come naturally to most mothers.  We don't like to see our toddler cry, and we don't like to be the cause of their tears.  But firm, loving discipline at this age saves many tears and much heartache later on.  {Helen Aardsma}

When Helen had five small children, she started a group in her church called "The Young Mother's Class."  Women were coming to her needing to be taught how to be mothers and wives.  One woman named Vikki started attending.  She had two sons that were very undisciplined.  Helen taught about biblical discipline.

One day Vikki's sons were misbehaving so she took them into her van to spank them.  They ran out a few minutes later laughing and continuing in their misbehavior.  Helen told her, "The pain of the spanking has to be greater than the joy of their disobedience. When you do it right, there will be crying and tears."  Discipline that is not painful, is not effective. {Hebrews 12:11}

Vikki started implementing this and soon she had well-behaved sons and every one began enjoying them.  "Other areas began to to be transformed in the women's lives too.  Women began submitting to their husbands. Women with husbands who were unsaved or backslidden began applying I Peter 3:1,2 with remarkable results.  Women who were previously outspoken in church business meetings learned to whisper ideas to their husbands instead.  Women began cutting back on time spent away from home to truly become keepers at home."

Disciplining our children and being submissive do not come naturally to most women.  It is against our nature without God's wisdom.  This is why God commands older women to teach the younger women.  I have tried God's ways and they work.  Teachable women try His ways and find they work also.

Women stop reading my blog when I write about spanking and submission. They have unteachable hearts.  Yes, I know some children have been raised to be good adults without spankings but God tells us to discipline our children with rods {spank}.  I believe God.  His ways are good and they work.

Vikki only wanted two children because her sons were so difficult.  After attending Helen's class and learning how to discipline her sons, she had four more children and learned to be a happy wife and mother at home to her six children.

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, 

but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 22:15

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, 

but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24 

Do All Women Need College Degrees?

Without an education, I would be so much less effective in educating my kids, creating meaningful change in my community, supporting my husband, and even just being an interesting partner to him.

This was a comment left on one of my posts recently. I completely disagree with this statement.  I think our society has put way too much emphasis on education {man's knowledge} and mostly humanistic teaching.

My oldest daughter never went to college.  She became a professional ballerina instead.  She used her talent to witness to others the joy of knowing Jesus.  She is incredibly intelligent and loves studying the Word.  She is a great help meet to her husband.  If she decides to educate her children someday, she will do a fantastic job.  She creates meaningful change in her community by being involved in her church.

My mother never attended college, well maybe one semester.  She was the most amazing mother I could have ever asked for.  She was always home with us, disciplining and training us, fixing healthy food for us, and giving us a warm, clean home.  She helped neighbors when they were sick.  She taught health classes at church.  She babysat my children a lot when they were growing up.  She didn't need an education to accomplish any of this!

If your desire is to be a wife and mother full time someday, choose your path carefully.  Don't go into deep debt to get an education.  Don't pursue a career that would be hard to leave if you have children.  Some will say, "Yes, but they can work a couple of days a week."  I wouldn't have wanted to leave my babies with anybody ever.  I wanted to raise them full time.
 

College isn't for everyone.  Some women don't like college and shouldn't feel like they have to go because everyone else goes.  Get involved in community activities or your church.  Find out what your gift and talents are and use them to minister to others.  Maybe you love serving people.  Be a waitress or nanny.  College is getting more and more expensive every day.  It shouldn't be a requirement for every woman.  You can lead a very productive, full life without it.

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.

I Timothy 5:9

Simple Lives, Frugal Days

Am I Ever Unsubmissive?

Hi Lori, I am wondering if you ever find yourself in moments where you are not submissive to your husband, and if so, how you and he both react. On my pathway towards being a godly wife, I practice this joyfully but there are definitely moments, phases, or even days or weeks when I rebel or snap back at him or don't do what I know I should--I allow my emotion or desire to control the situation to rule my decisions instead of my heart and doing what's best. I was wondering if you have ever found yourself in this position recently and if so, what is the best way you or your husband have found to getting back on track? Thanks

This was asked on my post LeAnn Rimes Felt Pathetic.  I was asleep when this was asked so Ken answered it.  You can go to the post to see his answer.  It is very good.  No, I am not perfect and I do fail.  Not as often as I use to and Ken will tell you I am a different wife today than I was for many years.

We recently got into an argument.  Afterwards, we both decided we don't like conflict of any kind and don't want it in our relationship anymore.  We want to learn how to always pursue peace with each other.  I know marriage counselors say conflict is good.  I completely disagree.  I hate it when there is conflict between Ken and me.  Life is wonderful when we are at peace with each other.

We want to learn to communicate our feelings to each other without conflict, to disagree agreeably.  When I speak disrespectfully to him with the tone of my voice or actions, I want him to call me out on it.  I want to be submissive and obey him in everything.  I want to obey God and walk in obedience.  

I never want to be called a hypocrite.  I teach many women.  I want to be an example to them.  We need examples of godly women and godly marriages.  I never want to blaspheme the Word of God.  I want to live my life in a way that adorns His Word.

Practice makes perfect.  I will continue working out my salvation with fear and trembling for I know that God works powerfully inside of me and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  He is good and I trust His ways are best.

Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  

For it is God which worketh in you 

both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:12,13

Marital Oneness

A Diet Rich In Truth

Do your children walk in truth?  Do they know Jesus and His love for them?  Do they know all the promises God has made for them if only they believe in Him?  One of the main jobs you have as a parent is to make sure your children know Jesus.

Every evening before dinner, you could have a promise box filled with all of God's promises.  Everyone takes one and reads it aloud.  This way your children will be able to hear all the wonderful promises God has made to them in His Word and be reminded of them consistently.

While they are eating breakfast, read them a chapter of Proverbs.  There are 31 chapters in Proverbs so there is one for every day of the month.  They will fill your children's minds with godly wisdom.

Take them to a church program like Awana.  My children went every week and learned a ton of Bible verses.  God's Word never comes back void.  They loved going to Awana!

Make sure church is a huge part of their lives.  I knew every Sunday morning we would go to church.  It was a part of my life.  We raised our children going to church every Sunday so they all continue going to church now that they are all grown.

The most important thing for you to do, however, is to model Jesus to your children.  Love them earnestly, be patient, kind, and disciplined.  As they see you loving your husband, friends, neighbors, and being generous with them, they will grow up to do the same.

Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: 
that by these you might be partakers of the divine nature,
having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
2 Peter 1:4

Hear It On Sunday