LeAnn admits she did feel "pathetic" during the affair and subsequent media firestorm that happened in its wake. "I couldn't get out of bed. I became this person that I never knew existed within me, and I did not like her at all."
So even people who don't claim to be Christians feel shame about having affairs and destroying families. She is worried the same thing could happen with her current marriage. What a miserable way to live!
Is there no hope for marriages to last? Can every marriage, including Christian ones, fall to adultery and divorce? If you look around, yes, every marriage is capable of failing, especially since most couples are not doing marriage the biblical way.
Unfortunately, our churches are not fighting against divorce very hard and don't seem to be making marriages any stronger. I have been to many marriage retreats and seminars. I mentor many women who have been to all of them, plus marriage counseling, plus reading many marriage books and they are still miserable in their marriage.
Where is our hope? Where can we turn? Perhaps God and His Word will help...He lays out His ideas for marriage very clearly. The husband is the head of the wife. He is the leader. The wife is his help meet who obeys her husband and wants to please him. The roles are clearly defined but rarely obeyed or taught.
Every single time a women clearly understands her role and starts acting it out in her marriage, her marriage starts turning around. She starts winning her husband. She knows, after awhile, that she has saved her marriage and there is peace in the home.
Sinning {having an affair, being an unsubmissive wife, etc.} never turns out to be much fun. It may look fun in the beginning but ends up to be very bitter fruit. Being pleasure seekers and getting our way instead of God seekers and pursuing His ways always leads to a dead end path of destruction.
So if you know someone who is having an affair, know that they are miserable no matter how much fun they appear to be having. You cannot live in rebellion to God and enjoy life no matter how hard you try. True peace and happiness only comes through obedience to God and His ways.
But he said, “Blessed rather are those
who hear the word of God and keep it!”
Luke 11:28
Logging you in...
Guest · 633 weeks ago
Ken · 633 weeks ago
There were lots of reasons for the struggle, none the least was her very imperfect husband, her strong personality, her warped thoughts on intimacy, and the poor job the church does at teaching God’s Word on submission.
For my part, I was bound and determined to NEVER use the submission card. No matter how disobedient and naughty my feisty wife would be with me at times, I would not stoop to so low a blow as to say, "You know God asks you to submit to me." That was a mistake, and many husbands should be saying just this to their wives … in a loving way.
So, there we were. She knew she should submit, but few wives did, and her husband was half the spiritual person she was anyway. Round and round we went... good times... bad times... lots of laughs... upsets, anger, tears. Isn't that the way it should be in Christian marriage?
Best book I never read is Debbie Pearl's, "Created to Be His Help Meet." Debbie showed God's Word to Lori plain and simple, and the Spirit began a mighty work in this stronghold in her life.
Is Lori the perfect, always submissive wife? In my eyes she is :). I do not expect perfection in any area of her life, but when I see her try so hard... to struggle against her natural "be the boss" personality, this is pure joy for me.
We no longer battle like we used to... our lives are at peace and in harmony... truly one with each other, all perhaps but a few hours in a month. We have communications tools we use to move through those times quickly ... decisions we have made together in advance ... and I wish I could say we always handle things perfectly, but we are not there yet.
About a week ago we had a real blow up... about a 3 on a scale of 1-10, because we rarely ever get beyond that now... but Lori in her frustration said to me, "Well maybe I shouldn't be blogging about submission!" I just laughed and reminded her that God's truth remains true even if we can't be 100% perfect walking in it. That we need the Lori's of the world to speak out on doing things God's ways, and I adore 99% efforts and results in this area of our relationship. Lori’s desire to please God makes me a better man as I want to please her.
I cannot imagine that your husband, godly or not godly, is looking for you to be perfect in this area, although "in everything" is a ridiculously high standard! I give Lori permission to blow it... so long as I get the final say. Sometimes that final say has to wait a few hours or a day, but that is OK.
The goal of submission is not to create a slave, but to create harmony and oneness in our marriage. Submission does not have to be perfect to be both effective and pleasing to your husband. He just wants to know you are trying, and that when the fight is over, you will come to him and snuggle up and whisper in his ear, "I am so sorry, I have been a very naughty girl. Will you forgive me?"
Many wives cannot do this last part because submission is not as much a set of actions but a heart condition. I call it surrender of the will. If your will is surrendered to the will of your husband submission comes easy, but if you are sure you know better, or want your way, submission is nothing more than following a set of rules. A godly husband, like God, is not interested in having his wife follow the rules, but much more interested in the heart of the matter. When submission leads to surrender, huge gains are made in intimacy and desire, because then both spouses unite and become one in spirit.
Lori struggles still with surrender. She has the submission down pat, but surrender is scary for her as she has always tried to protect the little girl inside from men. I do not blame her one bit! “Not my will but thine be done” is for Jesus and the Father, not for people is it?
I am so much further away from surrender to God with my will than Lori is from surrender to me. But as I see her modeling submission for me, I realize how much more I must turn my life, and will, over to Him. Is it possible that submission is really the wife leading her husband to the great depths of his own surrender to God and “Thy will be done?” For the true leader is the servant of all… both husband and wife.
Guest · 633 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 633 weeks ago
Marcia · 633 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 633 weeks ago