My whole college gang reunited for a wedding in Pasadena this past weekend. It was the first time we have all been together for many years. My best friend, Sandy, was among the group. I asked her if she ever argues with her husband. She looked at her husband, Peter, and said, "We have never argued! We discuss things but we don't argue."
She then told me that if they are discussing something and she feels that Peter is wrong, she just lets it go because she said it is no big deal to her. She doesn't insist on being understood or being right.
They have a wonderful marriage. They are very happy together. You can tell she respects him by her body language towards him. She smiles at him frequently. She looks into his eyes when he talks. She never interrupts him when he is speaking. She gives him honor.
Sandy is looking really good. I told Peter this and he told me Sandy takes care of herself. he exercises a lot and doesn't eat too much. He told me there aren't too many hot 54 year old women around but he thinks she is one hot babe!
Sandy knows how to do marriage. She models it to anyone that watches. I had another college friend who told me not arguing just comes naturally to Sandy but not to her. I told her if I gave her a ton of money to stop arguing, she would stop. She told me that would give her the motivation she needed to not argue.
God's Word should give you the motivation to not argue. It tells us over and over again that arguing and strife should not have any part of us. We should be at peace with all men, including our husbands. I told her it took me awhile to stop arguing all the time. I had to bite my tongue a lot. She told me my tongue must have been quite bloody!
So I figure if Sandy and Peter can go their whole marriage without arguing so can I and so can you. Let your husband have the last word and be wrong. So what! You have pleased your husband, retained peace in your marriage, and pleased the Lord. Nothing is better than being at peace with others.
One's desire for one's rights must be put aside, with a recognition that the tearing apart of one's own house with one's bare hands is a ridiculous price to pay to win an argument.
{Edith Schaeffer}
Take my 30 Day Challenge to stop arguing with your husband.
It will change your marriage!!!
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies;
Take my 30 Day Challenge to stop arguing with your husband.
It will change your marriage!!!
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies;
you know that they breed quarrels.
And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone...
2 Timothy 2:23,24
Here are 186 verses concerning strife. Study and meditate upon them if you struggle with arguing with your husband and see how strife is far from the heart of God.
photo source
Here are 186 verses concerning strife. Study and meditate upon them if you struggle with arguing with your husband and see how strife is far from the heart of God.
photo source
Mrs. P · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Trudy Callan · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Lindsay Harold · 631 weeks ago
So, yes, it is possible to avoid arguing. There are better ways of handling disagreements. We've done it right so far and we plan never to have an argument.
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Ken · 631 weeks ago
She promptly stuck out her hand to shake mine and repeated, "We will never argue again" and we shook on it.
Any real arguments have disappeared. If a discussion starts escalating, one or the both of us stops the discussion and moves on without the need to be right, or get our way. If one of us feels strongly about something, we bring it up again later at the right time, and overall, arguing has ceased in our marriage.
It is not easy at first, and there were a few times when Lori would argue with me because she was in that "I need to be right mood," and I would let it go... once, twice, and then say, "You know you have been arguing a bit lately."
Lori's eyes would get great big, and she would stick out her hand to me to shake, and say, "It will never happen again!" I would think to myself, of course it may happen again, but boy do I love this women for trying.
I do not care if it happens again... but I appreciate her strong desire and discipline to keep the peace in our relationship. It make's me love her even more thinking that she would do that for me... allow me to be right or wrong, just because she loves me and wants a great marriage.
Lori's willingness to bite her tongue and not argue makes me more sensitive to her needs and desires, and to her thoughts. She does not have to push to get what she needs, because what husband in his right mind doesn't want to please a wife who is trying so hard to please him.
There is a simple principle in life and relationships that says, "If you want something, give what you want away freely and it will return to you." Give away peace, and you will find peace. Give away love and you will find love. Give away affection and you will find affection. Give your life wholly to to God and find your life holy before Him.
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Robin · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
sunshinemary 12p · 631 weeks ago
It is so hard for modern women to let things go. We are taught to value our individualism above all else; yet when we marry, we are to become one flesh with our husbands, so our individualism, our feeling that it is our right to be heard and understood, should be sublimated.
Thank you for the reminder about showing honor. I needed to be reminded of that today.
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Tiffany · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Lisa · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
learningtostand 18p · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
@lrwhitney · 631 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 631 weeks ago
Freda · 631 weeks ago
curmudgeonloner 0p · 631 weeks ago
I wasn't a Christian then. I didn't have that anchor, so all these superficial opinions were what I clung to - and indeed, what most people cling to, Christian or not. Now I realise that I don't know everything (lol!) and although I can speak with conviction, that doesn't mean I will always be right, and I can accept that.
One divorce, several years of celibacy, and a conversion later, my man and I have not had a single argument in 18 months together. Given that both of us are divorced, opinionated, and difficult for others to deal with, this is too amazing to be something 'we' did. I still have my issues - chief among them feeling like I am not capable of a successful relationship - and am still learning to lean on God in those times, but in the meantime, I do know that low-conflict relationships/marriages are possible.
Vinae · 631 weeks ago
Christy Joy · 625 weeks ago
Christy Joy
#happywivesclub