Always Learning: Mothers Have A Powerless Role?

Monday, February 25, 2013

Mothers Have A Powerless Role?

Do women in our society who choose to be full-time wives, mothers and homemakers have a powerless role in our society as some would have us believe? After all, young girls are not supposed to say that all they want to be when they grow up is a wife and mother. They must say something like doctor, nurse, school teacher, lawyer, etc. or they will be frowned upon. One woman made this comment on one of my posts about women being keepers at home.

This is her quote ~

Feminists will go to college and achieve all the high-paying, powerful positions. Going to law school, for example, will allow them to make and interpret the laws. Are you sure you want to advise Christian women to assume a powerless role in society?

Raising godly children who walk with Jesus, work hard, and grow up to be men and women of integrity will impact society much more than being a lawyer or some other high-powered job she could be doing. We don't need more women in high powered jobs as much as we need women who train and teach their children God's ways, discipline them for the purpose of teaching them self-control, and raise law-abiding citizens who contribute to making our society a better place.

I think if all the Christians heeded God's command to be fruitful and multiply and raised godly offspring, which God says is the purpose of marriage {Malachi 2:15}, our society would not be in the mess it is right now. Too many mothers have left their homes and their children to be raised by strangers and we are suffering the consequences.

When a lot of mothers were at home raising their children like in past generations, our nation was a much safer nation to live in. Children had mothers and fathers and felt loved and cared for. Now, they are lonely and looking ways to fill that void through drugs, pornography, and violence

So no, dear commenter, I am not advising Christian women to assume a powerless role in society but a powerful one. I will continue to teach women to be keepers at home, if it is at all possible for them, and raise children who walk in Truth for there is no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth {I John 1:4}. I know this to be true since I have four grown children who all walk in Truth and are contributing to society in good ways as disciplined, hard working citizens who truly love others.

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Lynda · 630 weeks ago

Simply stated and brilliant!!!

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Courtney · 630 weeks ago

I think going to college is smart regardless of whether or not a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom. It gives her a backup plan in case she loses her husband and needs to support her children. Taking a part-time job, or finding something she can do from home like babysitting or teaching music lessons to keep up her work experience is also smart, for the same reason. There was a time in history when a woman's only choices upon the death of her husband were to become a prostitute, a barmaid, a nanny, or a housekeeper. The first two were unacceptable for a lot of women and the last two forced them to send their children to work as well while they went and cared for someone else's family. It was out of a need for survival that many of these women chose to marry the first man who would have them, even if he was drunk and abusive. In that respect, feminism has one redeeming quality, for it has allowed women more options should they need them. However, I totally agree that raising children is perhaps the most powerful and influential roll in our society. My mother stayed home with us. She also does not express her opinion as to whether or not we should do the same with our children. One of my sisters currently stays home with her daughter but has not always done so and may not continue to do it forever. I do not yet have children but would like to stay home with them. My other sister wants to own a ranch, which means work and home will be the same place. I believe each woman should do what God has called her to do, and that will not be the same for all women. Some may be called to remain single and will therefore never have the opportunity to be mothers. Of those who will be mothers, some will not have the luxury to stay home for financial reasons. Then there will be those who have motherhood thrust upon them when they must step up to raise the children of tragically deceased relatives and are unable to leave their careers due to a lack of pre-planning. Society needs women who focus building loving homes and raising Godly children and who will teach others to the same thing. We also need women who understand that not all women come from the same place and who in their defense of motherhood and womanhood do not unintentionally alienate others who do not and perhaps cannot be what they are.

5 replies · active 630 weeks ago

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Misty · 630 weeks ago

Beautiful and well said. I cherish the role of mother given to me by my Lord and do not take it lightly. I wish more women understood not only the gift of being a mother but the impact they have on their children's lives. Thank you for your stand and for sharing your wisdom.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Fran · 630 weeks ago

I am a young Christian woman with a law degree from one of the best law schools in the country and I have what your "troll" may deem a powerful position in the professional realm as an attorney.

However, my job pales in comparison to the power I have seen exhibited in women like my mother and grandmother who didn't simply stay home, but made their homes havens of learning and forums for love. I find it offensive that someone would comment that being a keeper at home, wife, and mother is a powerless role for women. Even though I am currently single and must work to support myself, I feel that there is no greater calling for women in general than to be helpers to their families and guardians of their homes.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Chris · 630 weeks ago

Your blog is one of my favorite regular reads. There is not one blog where every reader is going to agree with 100% of everything, but if there are trolls who regularly try to cause discord, perhaps you could block them from posting.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Liz · 630 weeks ago

I liked this post but I think the kids in the picture captured my eye the most.
They all have their own personalities and it shows. :-)

I once learned that a couple would need to have 64 million children (with the exception of multiple births) before any of them would look exactly alike! Since we're all made in God's image I have to wonder what He looks like! ;-)

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Cynthia Swenson · 630 weeks ago

This is a thoughtful & loving reply to your troll Lori. I see the love of God in this. Only God has the power to change the hearts & minds of men & women for any good. A praying Godly woman is far from powerless when the God Who created EVERYTHING hears & answers her prayers! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Tiffany · 630 weeks ago

I agree with every word. "The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world."

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Gently Led · 630 weeks ago

I'm with Fran -- as a former high-falutin' lawyer, now SAHM, I thank God that I am now in a position to do something really important with my life, something of eternal value, in having and raising children to walk with the Lord. The money and other worldly kinds of power are dust in comparision.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Sophie · 630 weeks ago

Lori, some women aren't destined to be housewives. God gives everyone a different path in life. I using my God-given talents by going to college. I will likely never get married (and that's okay, because I cannot cook and can't do a craft to save my life). I love my life, and I also love that there are women who love staying at home with their children. One choice isn't better than the other. Variety is what makes the world interesting.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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LJC · 630 weeks ago

I don't think trolls are happy with their own lives and oddly take pleasure in hurting others. But I am glad that they are getting the word by reading your blog!! What a wonderful and positive way to look at it. :) And I agree wholeheartedly with your point. I thought about attending law school, but working 60 hour weeks and paying someone else to raise my children is not appealing in the least. I have a feeling the troll is not very educated on the topic, however, as most know that law school is not a good option these days. Those who are already established in their career probably don't have anything to worry about but there is a surplus of graduates and not enough jobs so that even those from the top schools are having a difficult time finding a job.

In addition, most know that the environment in many firms is very old school and I have had a judge tell me that most established male lawyers have a difficult time giving female lawyers an equal standing because the culture is still so old fashioned. Most graduates today are going to have a lot of debt, no job, and little "power." I am thankful for certain things the feminist movement has provided but that includes the opportunity for me to be anything I want to be. I think it is a detriment to society to look at housewives and mothers as anything less than something that should garner equal support and respect as any other career choice. It gives true purpose to so many lives and is fulfilling in a way that a corporate career could personally never fulfill me.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Kath · 630 weeks ago

First, thank you, Lori, for advertising for me! Secondly, I went to college and received a degree in elementary education. If I could do it all over, I would have started my family earlier and enjoyed raising our children with the energy that comes with youth. Alas, I taught for 6 years, putting off having babies so that I could do my own thing. Ah! Revelation from God's Word is precious and hindsight is 20/20. I wish I had made being a wife and mother the single most important thing in my twenties. And, yes, all those children of ours have very different personalities! It takes a lot of intelligence, perserverance, patience, and love to serve a variety of people constantly. What a fulfilling job I have! One that needs no degree in the secular world. Just constant teaching from the Lord.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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shortkakes4 2p · 630 weeks ago

Amen! Thank you for the posts you write and the message you spread to women. I am a young woman, married for 2 years, and I have a degree. And I love finding new ways to put my education to use in my own home (rather than in the work force)! I feel completely prepared to raise children without the steady flow of 2 incomes and I'm proud that I am learning how to be a stay-at-home mom before I'm a mom. People who surround me often think I'm crazy, but your blog is always encouraging!

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Ann · 630 weeks ago

Thanks, Lori for the wise thoughts you share on your blog. You help me greatly in my everyday life as a wife and mother. I wanted to let you know, also, that I'm enjoying seeing the gorgeous pictures of some of your other readers.

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Lori Kay · 630 weeks ago

As Christians (not just limited to women) we are to seek the heart of Christ - the heart of a servant. We should be "powerless" in the world and be powerful in the Lord. Power is not a virtue to be sought. The meek shall inherit the earth.

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13plum 15p · 630 weeks ago

I am a SAHM. I never went to college, for several reasons, the main two being I never had the desire and I wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mommy. My first child is 9 and my second is 4. I worked until my oldest was 6. Despite never having gone to college, I had wonderful, well paying jobs. In fact, I made enough to easily take care of myself AND my children had I not been married. So not having a college degree doesn't necessarily mean a woman cannot take care of herself.
I am now a SAHM. I quit a very good paying job just to stay home with my children. I have a daycare in my home, I have an online store in which I sell the things I make, and a successful blog. But most importantly, I am home with my children. On top of all this, we will begin homeschooling our children next year. Should anything happen to my husband (which is always likely, as he has a very high risk job), I could STILL easily take care of my children and myself. And stay at home while doing so!

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Mandi Roach · 630 weeks ago

Hi there! I have ventured over from the GFC blog hop. I'm enjoying this little peak into your world! Just lovely! XOXO, Mandi @ All My Happy Endings

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Jen Ferguson · 630 weeks ago

I've thought about this post a lot today. I wonder, though, how many women have gone to work outside the home, not because they wanted to, but because their husbands didn't do that which God called them to do? And so God gives them the grace in the workforce.

I know women who feel that God has called them to work outside the home even when they have children and even when they want to stay home. I think it is good to open up the conversation to peek in their world.

1 reply · active 630 weeks ago

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Lari · 630 weeks ago

Here is the timeless poem by William Ross Wallace http://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Hand_That_Roc...
Thanks for your posts on the worth of motherhood. It's something I need to be regularly reminded of. I am a stay at home mom and there are days I feel housebound. Especially in winter when we have quite a few cold days, sometimes -40 and its not safe to leave the house with small children. But I have gotten a much closer relationship with my children the last few months, there is nothing else that is a pressing need.

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Kathie · 630 weeks ago

Great post with great truths! I would love for you to share this at my Tuesday link up party: http://courtshipconnection.com/?p=3957 I know my readers would love it!
Kathie

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momstheword2008 43p · 630 weeks ago

I never went to college either. At that time I just couldn't come up with any specific career choice and didn't want to waste my money. My goal was to take a year off and then go to college, but after that year I got involved in a full-time ministry. After the ministry time was over, I got a good secretarial job, then got another job and sort of worked my way up. Then eventually i got married, kept working for a few years and then quit to stay home with my firstborn.

One gal told me that our boss told her that I would regret it for the rest of my life because of all the money I was losing. I have never, ever regretted those years at home with my children, and I never will. You can never replace those years.

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momto8blog 67p · 630 weeks ago

Mary is my example of the perfect Mother.

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Rachel · 630 weeks ago

Thank you! Going to college was the worst mistake I have ever made. By the time I finished my degree, the work it qualified me for had been devalued to minimum wage, and I had spent 40k on it. In any case, sahm is my calling, so I guess it's just as well. I learned nothing new from any of the courses I took, so the only benefit is that I am covered IF my state decides to impose an education requirement for homeschool parents.

I feel like I was completely duped, and I should have seen much earlier that it was a scam. College has a place and a use, but it would be much more valuable if people only went when their chosen profession really required it.

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"Mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which you have learned and avoid them." {Romans 16:17} All comments WILL be moderated before being published. Thank you for your patience.

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