Hi Lori, I am wondering if you ever find yourself in moments where you are not submissive to your husband, and if so, how you and he both react. On my pathway towards being a godly wife, I practice this joyfully but there are definitely moments, phases, or even days or weeks when I rebel or snap back at him or don't do what I know I should--I allow my emotion or desire to control the situation to rule my decisions instead of my heart and doing what's best. I was wondering if you have ever found yourself in this position recently and if so, what is the best way you or your husband have found to getting back on track? Thanks
This was asked on my post LeAnn Rimes Felt Pathetic. I was asleep when this was asked so Ken answered it. You can go to the post to see his answer. It is very good. No, I am not perfect and I do fail. Not as often as I use to and Ken will tell you I am a different wife today than I was for many years.
We recently got into an argument. Afterwards, we both decided we don't like conflict of any kind and don't want it in our relationship anymore. We want to learn how to always pursue peace with each other. I know marriage counselors say conflict is good. I completely disagree. I hate it when there is conflict between Ken and me. Life is wonderful when we are at peace with each other.
We want to learn to communicate our feelings to each other without conflict, to disagree agreeably. When I speak disrespectfully to him with the tone of my voice or actions, I want him to call me out on it. I want to be submissive and obey him in everything. I want to obey God and walk in obedience.
I never want to be called a hypocrite. I teach many women. I want to be an example to them. We need examples of godly women and godly marriages. I never want to blaspheme the Word of God. I want to live my life in a way that adorns His Word.
Practice makes perfect. I will continue working out my salvation with fear and trembling for I know that God works powerfully inside of me and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He is good and I trust His ways are best.
Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
For it is God which worketh in you
both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Logging you in...
MBB · 632 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 632 weeks ago
You are never missing out on anything when you walk in obedience to God contrary to what the world tells you. God's blessings far outweigh man's blessings.
Doing things God's ways are always better since He created us and knows what is best. No, it is not always easy but it gets easier the more you practice it. It sounds like you are definitely headed in the right direction!
Mary Butler · 632 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 632 weeks ago
Ken · 632 weeks ago
All husbands want their wives to be submissive, except for small percentage who actually like to be dominated and bossed by their wife. I am assuming you are not talking about his being in that rare minority.
What you are probably saying is that your husband appreciates it when you stand up to him, or act feisty and strong. There is nothing wrong with this so long as the dynamics of your marriage suits his personality and desires. I married Lori because she is feisty and strong, but fell head over heels in love with her watching her harness her strength to create harmony and not discord, intimacy, not "do it my own way in my own strength."
Ask your husband again what he means by "I do not want you to be submissive." I think you will find that indeed he wants you to be submissive in all things he really wants and feels he needs from you, while also desiring that you be the woman he married who is not afraid of challenging him. It is easy to tell someone they do not need to be submissive if they are essentially submissive already. Start acting out and going against his clear desires regularly and he may want his submissive wife back. He just didn't know he already had her in most ares of the relationship.
Submission is an attitude that you want to please your man, and you are willing envelop your will into his. If he wants you to "not be submissive" then submissively figure out what that looks like and how it will end in creating oneness and pleasing your man. He may enjoy the challenge, but that will only go so far when you develop a real rift you cannot work through... then ask him the question again.
Jenn · 632 weeks ago
I'm learning, though. Thank you for blog posts like this!
Lori Alexander 122p · 632 weeks ago