Through this post, I am going to attempt to show you the importance God puts in a wife's position to her husband and why I think this is extremely important to Him. There are two commands (Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20) for children to obey their parents, thus children are under their parent's authority. There are two verses (Romans 13:1 and 1 Peter 2:13) concerning citizens submitting to their government, therefore, citizens are under the government's authority. There are three verses (Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22 and 1 Peter 2:18) concerning slaves' obedience to their masters.
So there are two concerning children, two concerning citizens, and three concerning slaves' relationship to those in authority over them. How many verses concern a wife's relationship to her husband? Twelve! I believe God knew that there would need to be many more instructions on this relationship since most would try to ignore it, dismiss it, water it down or simply be repulsed by the idea and refuse to obey.
Here are the twelve verses ~
Genesis 2:18 "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him." She was created to be the man's help meet, not the other way around.
Genesis 3:16 "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Part of the curse would be the woman's desire to rule over her husband but that the husband will rule over her.
I Corinthians 11:3 "...the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." The husband is the wife's head; he is over her.
I Corinthians 14:34,35 "Let women keep silence in the churches...they are commanded to be under obedience...if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home..." Husbands are allowed to speak but not wives and must have a teachable spirit toward their husbands and learn from them..
Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord."
Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church.."
Ephesians 5:24 "...so let the wives be (submissive) to their
own husbands in everything."
1 Timothy 2:11,12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." This isn't concerning marriage so I didn't include it in the the twelve but it does explain the authority men have over women in church, thus supporting the teaching that women are NOT to usurp authority over their husbands.
1 Peter 3:1 "Likewise, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands...."
I Peter 3:5 "...the holy women also, who trusted in God,
adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands."
I Peter 3:6 "...Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord:
whose daughters ye are..."
Titus 2:5 "Teach young women to...be obedient to their own husbands."
Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as it is fit in the Lord."
Are you convinced yet? I asked a couple of my friends this question, "What makes a woman's heart soft to the subject of submission? How come there are some of us who deeply desire to be submissive, yet SO many who do not? I'm talking about Christian women."
Amanda, Cabinetman's wife, responded, "Here are my thoughts on it, based upon my own spiritual journey. I did not want to submit until I truly began studying theology and creation. My journey just began with the intent to firmly teach my children creation. Little did I know, as I began to truly understand God's character and process in ordaining creation, there was no way I could truly worship and honor my Creator and God and forsake the authority he ordained.
"I further studied God's character, justice, righteousness and holiness and found no other way to serve him but to submit myself to Him and my husband. In honoring my husband, I am honoring God, and I am honoring what He ordained. After truly understanding how wretched of a sinner I am and how gracious God is, I simply can't forsake His commands to be submissive to my husband. I thusly think it's two fold: realizing how horribly sinful we are (as opposed to the current culture view that were generally good) and realize how good and righteous God is."
"If I'm completely honest, when occasions arise in which I am disrespectful toward my husband, I don't usually get very far before I just break down and weep in private. I feel the guilt of my sinful behavior and how I am not displaying love for Christ or representing Him well and it breaks my heart to pieces. Sometimes I have moments where I feel so distraught over my sin that Jesus speaks lovingly to my heart and reminds me that He has forgiven me and that I have the power to make a change immediately. Do you know that, except for the fact that I feel sad about how I may have made my husband feel and how I want to be a blessing to him, the thing that brings about the desire to submit to my husband is not my husband's behavior, but the reminder of the fact that Jesus' blood was spilled on that cross so that my sins -- and lack of submission -- could be atoned. That is such a big deal to me that my eyes fill with tears even as I type this.
"I believe that Christians will come to a place of desiring to obey God's command and change their secular ways once the Cross becomes a bigger deal to them. I see so many Christians justify their worldly behavior as the manifestation of 'freedom in Christ' and all that signifies to me is lack of truly understanding the sacrifice that was made that day on Calvary. Once the sinless blood that was spilled for our wretched sinful souls truly gets to the heart of a person, they will never be the same again."
Amanda, Cabinetman's wife, responded, "Here are my thoughts on it, based upon my own spiritual journey. I did not want to submit until I truly began studying theology and creation. My journey just began with the intent to firmly teach my children creation. Little did I know, as I began to truly understand God's character and process in ordaining creation, there was no way I could truly worship and honor my Creator and God and forsake the authority he ordained.
"I further studied God's character, justice, righteousness and holiness and found no other way to serve him but to submit myself to Him and my husband. In honoring my husband, I am honoring God, and I am honoring what He ordained. After truly understanding how wretched of a sinner I am and how gracious God is, I simply can't forsake His commands to be submissive to my husband. I thusly think it's two fold: realizing how horribly sinful we are (as opposed to the current culture view that were generally good) and realize how good and righteous God is."
TheJoyFilledWife responded, "Truly, I think it is
depends on what her walk with God is like. It's like Martha and Mary...Martha
was upset that Jesus didn't tell Mary to go help her in the kitchen. She had
something she wanted done and represented with a certain standard (perhaps perfectionism? Maybe she wanted to impress Jesus with her service and work ethic? She seemed
to be more focused on works than faith) and Mary didn't comply so she
complained to Jesus about it. She didn't bother to see Jesus' pleasure with
Mary's behavior because she was too caught up in having things done her way.
Mary, on the other hand, adored Jesus. She was willing to give up the most
costly possession she had to display her love and dedication for Him. She
humbled herself and did so without hesitation, even though she had to sense or
know at some point that Martha would not be pleased with her. Mary's heart was
to worship. She was indebted to Christ and she loved and served Him with
passion. Martha, on the other hand, at least in this instance, seemed to be
more concerned with what Jesus could do FOR her than what He was trying to do
IN her.
"If I'm completely honest, when occasions arise in which I am disrespectful toward my husband, I don't usually get very far before I just break down and weep in private. I feel the guilt of my sinful behavior and how I am not displaying love for Christ or representing Him well and it breaks my heart to pieces. Sometimes I have moments where I feel so distraught over my sin that Jesus speaks lovingly to my heart and reminds me that He has forgiven me and that I have the power to make a change immediately. Do you know that, except for the fact that I feel sad about how I may have made my husband feel and how I want to be a blessing to him, the thing that brings about the desire to submit to my husband is not my husband's behavior, but the reminder of the fact that Jesus' blood was spilled on that cross so that my sins -- and lack of submission -- could be atoned. That is such a big deal to me that my eyes fill with tears even as I type this.
"I believe that Christians will come to a place of desiring to obey God's command and change their secular ways once the Cross becomes a bigger deal to them. I see so many Christians justify their worldly behavior as the manifestation of 'freedom in Christ' and all that signifies to me is lack of truly understanding the sacrifice that was made that day on Calvary. Once the sinless blood that was spilled for our wretched sinful souls truly gets to the heart of a person, they will never be the same again."
Genny · 533 weeks ago
Tam · 533 weeks ago
Traci · 533 weeks ago
hiswife522 43p · 533 weeks ago
What I hadn't said in that quote is that this process is what brought JOYFUL submission. I had already conceded to doing it God's way, but I still wasn't going to like it.
Sue B. · 533 weeks ago
Ken · 533 weeks ago
First, it is God's Word that defines it. The verses above show a clear definition of submission which includes "submission in everything to a husband." The rest of the Bible will further qualify this as not meaning complete obedience if such submission leads to a wife herself sinning or participating in a husband's sin, or if it will bring harm to her or others if she submits. But the definition of submission is to follow a husband's clear desires and requests.
This leads to the second layer of true submission and that is that a wife should not take it upon herself to decide if she is being submissive, but should ask her husband. I think far too many Christian wives are convinced they are submissive but never really probe with their husbands if he feels the same. I can think I am a millionaire all my life, but if I only have a few dollars in the bank, reality dictates that I am no rich man at all, just deceived by my own thinking. So it is vital that a wife who truly desires to be submissive checks in from time to time with her husband to see how she is doing, but of course only if she wants to know, and to journey further into what God is calling her to in the marriage.
Lastly, I cannot emphasize enough that submission is not blind obedience, but it does require trust in the one God calls "the head of the wife." Submission is not a journey into "the Fifty Shades of Gray" or some other far fetched demands of a husband. If at any time a wife feels that a husband's leadership is overly demanding, overly controlling, unloving, unkind, then she should go talk to an older godly woman and discover if indeed her husband needs coaching on his leadership style and demands, or if she is simply unwilling to consistently be submissive so the demands seemingly pile up.
If wifely submission is new to Christian wife, it certainly is new to a Christian husband to lead "as Christ loves the church." A wife after checking her own heart and motives should feel free to discuss with her husband what submission and love should look like so that the two of them together can create what they believe is the most God honoring approach to a oneflesh biblical marriage. Including each other in the conversation and exploring together what God means by his many verses on a husband's leadership and wife's submission can indeed open up a marriage to new vistas of deeper intimacy and love. There is nothing more special in a marriage than the knowledge and trust that our husband/wife wants to please God, and in turn please us, and have a marriage that is a true example of what the church looks like. After all, the family is the unit and model of the church, so if we are to obey those who lead us, let's do that in every part of our lives.
I think the post missed this one: "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls" (Heb. 13:17).
Genny · 533 weeks ago
Sheree · 533 weeks ago
Marie · 533 weeks ago
HeatherRoses · 533 weeks ago
Jamie · 533 weeks ago
kentuckygal50 49p · 533 weeks ago
Megan · 533 weeks ago
Rob · 533 weeks ago
It is so hard for us husbands to lead the way God has designed for us because we are absolutely trained by society and the media and yes even in church to be passive.
I pray every day that my wife believes in me and can continue to trust me to be in God's design for our marriage. We need to stop making excuses and jusitfying our sin!!!
I know i don't always make the best decisions and sometimes i can make a complete mess of things, but as i gain my wife's trust to lead she can let go of the worry "Is Rob making good decisions?"
There is no perfect marriage, but pray together, TRUST each other. Don't be afraid to let your husband lead, because, believe me, we husbands need your encouragement every day to help us become the leader God wants and that you respect.
Happy New Year everyone!
Christy · 533 weeks ago
Lynn · 533 weeks ago
HeatherRoses · 533 weeks ago