Friday, January 30, 2015

Little Boys are NOT Made to Sit in Chairs All Day Long!


When I went to kindergarten MANY years ago, most of our time was spent on the playground and in the sandbox using our imaginations. When we were inside, we listened to books being read to us and we did a LOT of finger painting. We were always home by lunchtime and had time to have a good nap. It was so much fun!


When Steven was five, we decided to put him into public school kindergarten. When I picked him up one day a few days after he had started, he was crying. He had flunked his first spelling test! I had NO idea they would expect a five year old to actually be able to write words and know them. Kindergarten was a full day for him. After a few weeks and noticing him falling asleep at the dinner table, I decided to pick him up at lunch time. He'd come home, eat and then take a long nap. Then he'd go out and play.

A good friend of mine who teaches children who have trouble learning told me about a family that had come from South America. The oldest was around seven or eight years old. He had never been in school but instead, played outside most of the time. Within one year of being in school, this child was caught up to the other children and even surpassed many of them.

I think we start children in school too young and expect WAY too much from them. It is more important for them to develop their large motor skills by hiking, running and climbing while they are young. Boys are NOT made to sit in chairs for hours every day! Schooling was not created with boys in mind.

I home schooled Steven from fifth grade through eighth grade. He loved it! He would read a few hours a day and do an hour of math. He also went surfing with his brother and cousin. He was involved in team sports. He ate a lot too! We put him into the local Christian high school for ninth grade. He had to be tested in order to get in. I was a bit nervous since my homeschooling was very relaxed. He passed with flying colors. Today, he is an orthodontist!

Academics is WAY too much of an idol in our society, in my opinion. Some children are just not that academic and would rather be doing things with their hands. We all learn differently and to place everyone in one mold is not a good idea. There should be trade schools for electricians, plumbers, mechanics, etc.

Try to figure out how each of your children learn best. If they are good readers, like to read and learn math, they can figure out almost any other subject. Don't think they need to be reading by the time they are three. Read to them a lot but don't hurry learning to read. Just because our society wants to fit all of our children into one mold {sitting in a chair ALL day long}, doesn't mean you have to fit your child into the same mold.

Train up a child in the way he should go: 
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Comments (25)

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FreeIndeed's avatar

FreeIndeed · 530 weeks ago

Wise words, Lori :)
I could not agree more! I taught elementary school before having our children, but decided that homeschooling was the best option for us. My oldest struggled with reading for the first few years. Being an ex-public school teacher, it really bothered me when I could not figure out how to help him. He had an excellent vocabulary and was a natural at hands on projects. I finally realized that it was okay. My son did not have to fit in the "one size fits all" box. At 5 years old he was not ready to read. At 8, he was. I often think about how he would have suffered and been labeled if he were in school. I know because I have been there. We have a very active homeschool routine with limited seat time because God gave my son different talents. He can rebuild a carburetor, plant a garden, is learning taxidermy, and it my right hand fix-it man. I praise God for the diverse strengths he has given each one of my children.
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
Good for you, Misty. You are a very wise mother. They definitely would have labeled one of my sons ADD if they would have tested him. I am SO happy I never let them test him or label him since he is doing great today and turned out to be a very intelligent young man who LOVES to read!
Great encouragement! Thank you so much!! I plan on being pretty relaxed with homeschooling my kids. We've taken 2 weeks pretty much completely off due to everyone having colds. It's hard not to worry about them "falling behind" but they're in preschool. What are they really falling behind on? There just seems to be SO MUCH pressure everywhere and it's hard not to get caught up in it.
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
Preschool??? Let them be children and play! Read to them a lot, do puzzles, run around, climb, etc. This is what will help make them smart adults!
My little girl absolutely loves books and wants to read so badly. She knows the alphabet well, and we do have a phonics program, but I know it's way too early to start it, or at least go too much in depth with it. I love books too, but I also want her to run, play and enjoy being young! I never thought I could exercise with a little one, but was I wrong! She exercises/runs/walks/dances alongside me, and we laugh and make it fun. Of course it isn't the same as me working out by myself, but we still get lots of physical activity in and quality time together too. Physical activity is just as important as books. At her well-child check, her pediatrician happily told us she was the first child she'd seen that day who was not overweight and to keep it up. I have to tell you, after trying organic produce, my daughter cannot get enough fruits and veggies! They taste so good! We decided to downgrade on our cable and use that extra money for even more organic groceries. Wish we'd have done it sooner. It's worth it to hear my daughter ask for blueberries and carrots instead of something unhealthy.

I do think it's sad how many kids, especially boys, are diagnosed with some type of ADD/ADHD because they fail to sit still all day in school. I used to work in healthcare and saw this a lot. Many times, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. It's just their nature to need to move around! Then they suffer side effects from these drugs. It just doesn't seem right. God made us all different.

Thank you for another great post.
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
Thank you, Katie. My children always went on daily walks with us when they were small. In the afternoons, we'd all gather in the cul-de-sac and watch our children play and a bunch of us mothers would chat. Those were fun times!
Diana Tyree's avatar

Diana Tyree · 530 weeks ago

My aunt was a first grade teacher and told me when I was having my children because of what she had seen in her experience as a teacher, to wait with girls till they were closer to 6 to send them, and boys if it were allowed, would not start then till 7-8 because in general boys take longer to mature and be able to sit still and if you start them too young they will end up hating and doing poorly in school.
2 replies · active 529 weeks ago
I'm wondering, Diana, if public schools begin educating children at 5 years old because so many mothers want a break from their children or they work outside of their home. I'm sure studies would prove that children do much better if they begin schooling when they are older and have ample time to play when they are younger, yet they're trying to educate our children younger and have them in school for longer hours every day without recess. Troubling...
Here in the UK, people talk about staying home until the children are 5 and start school full time. So it is assumed that school is free babysitting.
This is one of the biggest reasons why I homeschool! I recently read a book by a secular doctor, Leonard Sax, called "Boys Adrift" and he addresses this very problem. It was an enlightening read and I totally recommend it. He talks about boys being over diagnosed and therefore over medicated and how that affects them as adults. He makes an interesting correlation between the medication boys are put on and a lack of motivation as adults. Such a great read. Anyway, public schools are not geared for boys at all. And what really boggles my mind, is how people are always going on about how disadvantaged girls are. Maybe they are in some countries, but in North America (I am Canadian and it's the same here as the US) it's the boys who are at a disadvantage. I really wish people would open their eyes to see this fact. We're totally losing our boys and no one seems to care. This topic really gets me riled up haha! I could go on and on about it.
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
Sounds like a great book, Laura. Thank you for the recommendation. I am very sadden by seeing so many boys being put on drugs just because they can't sit in a classroom all day long and then spend hours at night studying. It just isn't the way they are built.
I sort of wish I had held my son one year....mixed feelings about it. He actually does very well in school but I can see that his maturity is just not the same as my girls'. It's like his brain just isn't quite there yet and it has nothing to do with his actual smarts. He reads very well, but his comprehension is low. He's not really thinking about the words he's reading, he just knows how to read them.

At any rate, one thing I would like to address (and maybe you can write further on in a future post) is the common assertion from homeschool advocates that their children are so much better off playing in the woods, building forts, hiking, and using their imagination/energy outdoors. I agree! BUT... does that actually happen? I'm in So Cal suburbia in a townhome complex with a back yard the size of a postage stamp. Yes my kids can play handball on the side of the house, and they can sort of ride their bikes in the streets as long as they're super careful about cars. That's about it. People will call CPS on you if you allow your children to "roam free". So for a lot of households, kids play inside more. They beg to play video games or watch tv. At school, there is recess and PE and "100 mile club" where they walk laps. They organize the rules of their own games on the playground. Sometimes it's fair, sometimes it isn't. My point is, that the "outdoor life" that a lot of us would like to give our kids just isn't our present-day reality for many families. So we put them on soccer teams, and sign them up for stuff, and try to take them to the park even though we can think of a million things that need to get done at home.
2 replies · active 530 weeks ago
The best thing to do, Jamie, is to get them outside as much as possible, especially since you live in S. Ca. Take them to parks where they can swing and climb. We did have our children in soccer, T-ball and basketball as soon as they were old enough. Just get them off the couch and moving as much as possible. It's even recommended for babies that if you aren't holding them to put them on the floor for lots of tummy time, then crawling, not the jumpy swings and walkers.
I agree completely. I consider our family one of the more active ones around since we walk to/from school every day and walk many other places. We have the kids in soccer and I monitor what they eat. I just feel that they actually do get quite a bit of exercise at school as well, something that would be harder for me to facilitate at home.
Amen, sister!! I pulled my daughter from Kindergarden and we have homeschooled since 2010. She is so much happier and healthier.

Girls shouldn't sit so long either.

God Bless for all the wonderful posts that you write.
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
Thank you, Amy. Agreed, girls shouldn't sit so long either! It isn't healthy for anyone to sit too long.
ABSOLUTELY agree!! My 2 oldest turn 5 this year. I about fell out of my seat when I heard a friend talk about how Kindergarten is now. Only 1 15 minute recess, basically no crafts, 10 minutes of "nap time" and the rest of the time they are little adults expected to sit and learn. Are you kidding me??? My husband and I have always planned to homeschooling our kiddos. However, after hearing that our minds have never been so set. My daughter loves our "school time" at home, but my son can barely handle more than 15 minutes. They have incredible imaginations!! I am amazed daily at what they come up with to play, and they say their favorite thing to do is pretend play. I don't think my kids have ever once said they were bored. In fact, I don't think they even know what that word is. This fall I will start trying to do school with them about an hour a day 4 days a week and have read-alouds. The hardest part for me is the pressure I feel for them to excel academically at 5. I feel pressure from family and friends mostly. I have no doubt my kids will excel in the future, but I strongly believe a spelling test at 5 is absurd!!
1 reply · active 530 weeks ago
You're doing the right thing, Brit . Your family and friends don't know your children like you do. I have usually gone the opposite way that society is heading since I know who the prince of the power of the air is and how he operates. Having childen away from their parents all day all year long in a government run institution doesn't sound wise to me!
Both my boys attended a very good pre-school (1/2 days) with lots of outdoor activities, crafts and playing. Any learning was part of the "play". This is generally how all our preschools are run, certainly where I live. For children attending school, preschool is not compulsory and parents don't have to send their children if they don't want to.
Lori I can't tell you how much I love coming here and learning from you. I agree, kids (especially boys) weren't made to just sit. My little first grader got in trouble at school for making mud balls at recess. He wasn't throwing them or getting anything besides his hands dirty. It bothered me! I'm glad we live in the country so he can come home from school and just run wild. I have noticed that while all my kids love to play outside, my son especially NEEDS it. In fact sometimes if he's pestering his sisters and just acting up I send him outside with instructions to ride around the blog a few times. It works like a charm!

I so wish I could homeschool. I guess it is still an option, but not right now. :)
It really bothers me when women put their I one year olds in daycare and call it "school". It just seems like what they're trying to do is justify the fact that they're going to work. Since they call it "school" that means their BABY will be learning and they have a clearer conscience about it. It's ridiculous to me to even think of putting my kids in Pre-K. It's not necessary. I think they even have a level before Pre-K now. I could be wrong but it wouldn't surprise me.
Thanks for this Lori, such timely wise words for me. Our eldest daughter is 4 in March and all her little friends the same age (all age 3) are off to Kindy next week (start of Australian school year), we plan to homeschool (play for the next few years at least!) l but I have still been feeling unsure if she will be missing out on something by not going to Kindy. My instinct tells me she should just be playing and having fun outside but it's hard to be so confident of that when academic achievement seems to be so important from such an early age. All 7 of these other little children (with parents) attend our church and although it's a Christian school, it still uses government curriculum, the hard thing for me though is it really seems to be viewed as the superior option to homeschooling even though all of those Mum's are stay-at-home Mums :-( school is compulsory for my daughter from the start of next year (will have to register to homeschool) , so all these other Mums (and Dads) are willingly choosing to send their precious child away for three whole days a week this year to a class of 1teacher and 1teacher aide to 20 children, I just don't understand how undervalued it is to keep your children with you and how well you can teach them yourself as you know them best! So encouraging to see here that others share our views.
Thank you, I needed to be reminded of this.
I really enjoyed this post. I homeschooled my oldest son for Kindergarten and half of 1st grade and then after praying we allowed him to be a part of the "special" classes at a nearby elementary school. The "special" classes consist of music, art, Spanish and gym. He loved the school so much that he asked to go there full time. We are allowing him to and have found that he actually is excelling more there than he was in homeschool! What happens in this case...when they excel greatly (academically) within public school compared to how they did in homeschool? After his first day in school he came home and told me he got a gold star put on the board for answering a question correctly. I asked what the question was and he said "what is the name of Gods Son"?! His answer of course was Jesus and then went on to tell the class who Jesus is! This is a public school!!

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