Many people believe God's goal for us is to be happy, healthy, and prosperous. I have had women tell me this and that there is NO way their God would want us to live in misery. Why would God, the Creator of the universe, come to earth to a poor family and even be born in a stable if this was the case. Then, at the young age of 33, He was crucified on a cross for us. He spent His entire life, not pursuing happiness and pleasure, but serving others. {It's ironic to ponder how the Antichrist will come, with power, wealth and fame. I think this tells A LOT about what is important to God.}
When I wrote my post Finding Happiness in Your Husband? a very good discussion took place. Some women thought we should be happily married since God doesn't want us to be miserable. An anonymous reader wrote this very insightful response ~
When I read the Bible as a whole and especially look to the life of Christ, I do not believe this statement to be true: "He wants His best for us which to me means happiness, health and prosperity." This is what is wrong with the 21st century church...the very destructive message of the prosperity preachers of the world who are leading millions astray and leaving them disillusioned. Uuugh!! God's best for us goes MUCH deeper than this.
My husband and I have been in a relatively "miserable" marriage for many years. We just can't seem to get on the same page and we are both believers. So would you say God's mad at us or doesn't love us? Or maybe it means we are not really Christians if we are not happy since that's what God wants for us? I take offense to the prosperity gospel because I have not "prospered" in many ways.
What about the Israelites who suffered for many, many years, and God gave them just enough manna for one day at a time as they wandered and wandered? {Such a beautiful symbol of Christ wanting to be our daily sufficiency in hard times!} I wouldn't call that prosperity. Or Paul being jailed or Stephen being stoned to death.
You are extremely blessed to have a precious hubby who brings you endless joy. {She was responding to a reader who said that she was extremely happily married and every one should be the same.} Not everybody can say that, but I don't take it to mean that God isn't loving or paying attention to people who are not happy. And what do you say to those dying at the hands of ISIS, Ebola, or gendercide; or being jailed and persecuted for their faith; or the jobless, homeless, and suffering in daily pain, etc., etc. That God wants them to be happy, healthy and prosperous? Really??
Actually, we were promised that in this fallen, sinful world, life would be full of trials and troubles which will be relieved at the return of our Savior when he will wipe away our tears. Until then, we learn that true joy comes best from knowing him deeply, walking with him THROUGH trials, and looking forward to eternity with Him. Perhaps you've never really experienced suffering, but if you ever do, you will be quite bewildered by the theology that God wants you to be happy, healthy, and prosperous.
I had bought into that for years and didn't even realize it, and I'm having to re-learn TRUE theology now that I've got a difficult marriage. How many times have I thought, "Wait, God, I thought you wanted me to be happy! What's going on here??? I thought I could trust you!! I guess I was wrong!" See the confusion? If God really wanted me to be "happy," then I could justify my leaving. But he says leaving would be a sin, so what do you do with that? That would be a contradiction of his character!
This is why I am so thankful that Lori pounds today's message into our hearts. She understands that marriage for many people {albeit, not everybody} is HARD and many people are NOT happy in it because we live with sinful people who do hurtful things to us and we ourselves are sinful. There is a deeper truth, a deeper level of knowing Christ that we who were not blessed with an easy marriage delve into. He cares much more about our sanctification than our happiness because he has ETERNITY in mind, not this fleeting life.
I'm with you; it would bring me so much happiness to see my kids happy. But there is a much greater experience of walking with God through suffering that I would rather they experience than to never be unhappy. Sorry, I think I'm beginning to babble and I certainly hope I don't come across as angry. I'm just very passionate about this topic!
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5
***Do not make marriage your idol because if you do, you'll leave or be discontent when you're not happy. Make God your idol, then your husband's eternal life will be more important to you than your happiness.
***Do not make marriage your idol because if you do, you'll leave or be discontent when you're not happy. Make God your idol, then your husband's eternal life will be more important to you than your happiness.
laura · 534 weeks ago
I wish I knew why so many are unhappy in their marriage. While being happy might not be an entitlement, it certainly isn't wrong to have a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, it is a wonderful feeling to love and be loved. I would hope all marriages could get to happy and content place. At the end of our earthly lives we certainly do not get more points for having been miserable.
Lady Virtue · 534 weeks ago
When you look at marriage Biblically, it won't always be happy. But that's where commitment to your vows (and ultimately, to the Lord) comes in. My marriage could be worse, but I don't know that "happy" would be the right word to describe it, either. For the Lord's sake, however, I stay with it. Divorce creates more problems than it supposedly "solves."
Jennifer Dunn · 534 weeks ago
Marcy · 534 weeks ago
Rob · 534 weeks ago
The poorest man can be as stong as a believer as anyone. Its the strength inside our hearts that matters. We need to remember serving others, not ourselves is where i find--can i say happiness. Jennifer just said it best. Being happy and prosperous isnt sign of being godly!!! Being happy for me is looking in the mirror at the end of the day and saying thank you Jesus. I want Jesus to fill my heart not my bank account!! I think its fair to say Half of Hollywood marriages end in divorce or scandal. Professional athletes are in trouble with the law especially the NFL. So we know that millions of dollars means nothing about being Godly!! Jennifer i would like to print off your comment and read it everyday!!
Megan · 534 weeks ago
Blessings to you and Ken.
Roxy · 534 weeks ago
These prosper Preachers are like a wolf looking who they may devour!
He warned us!! We would have trials and testing of our faith! But, being positive is a wonderful tool to help keep us going in the trials that will come!
Happy New Year...
Victoria · 534 weeks ago
Rob · 534 weeks ago
We all need to be praying for our marriages everyday because Satan is trying to rob us of our true happiness.
Amanda T. · 534 weeks ago
Tina Nason · 534 weeks ago
I think it has much to do with learning to be content right where we are.
Sophie · 533 weeks ago
We married young because I got pregnant even though I hardly new him. We are African and soon after marriage moved overseas thousands of mikes away were no family was. We had a sore area because of our faith me associating strongly with Christian ity and and him with African traditional belief and religion. There was a lot of infidelity on my husbands part which I forgave or at least thought I have and kept on going in the marriage I never had anyone else but him. We disagreed so much on our beliefs but thought I was fighting for my marriage and prayed that God would make it right. I was emotional/financially /psychologically abused and as he got deeper into the religion based on ancestral worship I told him this was wrong before the Lord and I could nit be part of it. I told him I was going to stay with him because I believe God hates divorce and he would make a way for us. He began to tell me I was trying to kill him I was a witch that I had been sleeping wifh his friends and he was not thd father of our four children he aanted DNA tests which I immediately agreed as I have not had any romantic relationship with anyone , not even ab emotional one. He didn't get the tests done and kept insisting I admit of zll the accusation he was making based on what the people who lead him in his religion were saying to him. I tried to talk to him rational so he could consider thd accusations logical ly but insisted that these people were right in spite of no evidence of this. He said he was going to leave me because he didn't want to die he however stayed with me for 6 months and kept making the accusation telling me I had to do what his religious leaders were asking so all could be right betwden which I blatantly refused and told him I did not want to hear about anymore. He left home saying he was going to his grandmothers memorial while he was away he put a facebook status that said if your girl hss children with friends she is to be beaten untill she nolonger can do such I thing . I confronted him as it was in line with what he was accusing me off he denied and then went right back into accussing of the same thing now he has been physically violent twice towards me I became distressed I told him the money for his plane ticket was being returned to him as he had purchased standby tickets through my work benefit at the airkine that I work. He saidhe didn't care, I got a protection order and he went to my family rudely saying he does not want me. I stopped communicating with him. Please give me your take on all this ( I did approach my pastor, but my husband will not go to my church or speak to any Christian. I have gone for counselling on my own. I really appreciate your time in reading all this ( On my part I have to add over the years I begN to resent him, I enabled him to do things which he shouldn't have been able to on his own, I thought I could change him, My self esteem was so low I thoughtif I worked harder and was bbetter it would all work out