Saturday, January 3, 2015

Husband Praising Instead of Husband Bashing


My mom is 83 years old. She loves to be with her three daughters, granddaughters, and granddaughters-in-law as much as possible! Therefore, my sisters have organized frequent women's nights out for whoever is in town. We have a blast! Sometimes some of the menfolk will show up and join us. Then we'll pepper them with questions about their marriage and their love for their wife.

We had one last Tuesday night since Cassi and Emily were in town and Nick, my sister Alisa's youngest son, just proposed to his high school sweetheart, Maryann. Therefore, we wanted to celebrate her and have some good girl talk. 

She shared with us what she loved about Nick and it was a very long list. Then we all went around and shared what we loved about our husbands. {The rest of us are married.} The overriding theme was that we all married godly husbands who desired to be the best husband they can be! They all work hard to provide for their families and those who have children, love their children deeply.

The common denominator is we all married men who love Jesus and walk with Him. God commands us to marry believers. All of His commands are for our good and best. Life and marriage are difficult as it is but if you are young and not married yet, do not marry an unbeliever no matter how wonderful he seems to be. Ask the many women I mentor who are married to unbelievers and they will tell you, "NO!!!" 

Anyways, in the top picture are the young women who come to our gatherings. Beginning from top left is Alyssa, Julia, Cassi, and Emily. Maryann and Erin are in front. They are showing off their rings! The little white ball of fluff is Alyssa and Jon's new puppy! My grandbabies sure love him. You should see little Kenny pick him up. It's the cutest thing. He has finally found something alive that is smaller than him!

The bottom left corner are my daughters and me and the last picture my mom, sisters, and me. We all LOVE each other deeply and have so much fun together. Living life according to God's plans for our lives is SO good! Yes, we still suffer trials, hard times and pain, but God is so very good and His ways are best! Live for Him; enjoy His goodness and the fellowship we can have together as fellow believers on this journey of faith in Jesus Christ.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, 
and cometh down from the Father of lights, 
with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
James 1:17

Comments (10)

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What a blessing Lori!
Amy Emily Smith's avatar

Amy Emily Smith · 534 weeks ago

Getting married is a woman's biggest accomplishment! There is nothing greater!
Yes, what a blessing and a testimony to how good God's ways are when we follow them. I wanted to add on to your point of not marrying an unbeliever, no matter how wonderful he may be. I wanted to say that caution should be applied to marrying a new believer too, especially one that becomes saved during your courtship. Finding a believer is much more than checking off a box on your criteria list. Not all new believers will hold fast to the faith (4 types of soil in Jesus' parable), and some might become token churchgoing believers. It takes time and discernment to evaluate whether this new believer can/will lead you spiritually. Even if the unbeliever or new believer you marry is the nicest person in the world and is a good spouse and father, if he is not passionate about God like you are and leading your family, it will become a thorn in your heart.
2 replies · active 534 weeks ago
Great advice, Danielle. Yes, women need to make sure the men they are marrying has deep roots in Jesus that have withstood the test of time and trials. I am always wary of a woman marrying a man who became a Christian while she was dating him. It's taking a very big risk.
Also, I wanted to add that I love the idea of getting together for husband praising instead of husband and children bashing. Women should be wary of the conversations at mom's night out and be careful to bridle their tongue and use it for good instead of evil.
Sorry, I just thought of a question. I want to implement a session of husband praising at our next small group fellowship, but I'm concerned about the possibility of feelings of envy, discontent, and competitiveness among women. As in, "how come my husband doesn't do that?". What are your thoughts on this? I suppose that at your gathering it was mostly among family and everyone was content with their husbands.
1 reply · active 534 weeks ago
I have written a post about this, Danielle. When you introduce this to the group, encourage them to think of the wonderful characteristics about their husbands and not to get envious if their husband doesn't live up to someone else's husband. We are called to focus upon the good and lovely and love thinks the best of others. Simply remind them of these Truths from Scripture.
I can´t believe your mom is already 83 - she looks amazing!!! Good genes run in your family!! ;-) Best wishes and many blessings for 2015 to you and your family.
You have a very beautiful family, Lori.
There is no perfect husband. There is, however, the perfect husband for you. My husband is perfect for me. It is not that I am unaware of any flaws, it is that those flaws fade into insignificance compared to his other characteristics and habits. And note that I do not mention what these flaws might be. Discussing his shortcomings, whatever they are, demeans him in the eyes of your confidant. It demeans him in your eyes, consciously or not. It reinforces feelings of discontent. Why would any woman strive to destroy her marriage on this way? This includes "jokes" about your husband that are really mean-spirited criticism. And, of course, the same goes for how husbands should speak of their wives.

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