Wednesday, January 7, 2015

They Want to Pull the Show from TLC


The reality show, My Husband's Not Gay, features unconventional Mormon couples with men who are married to women even though they say they are attracted to men. The wives know about their husband’s preferences and try to make their marriages work. 

One couple has been married for 10 years and the husband said, “You can say I am oriented towards donuts and if I was being true to myself I would eat donuts a lot more than I eat donuts, but am I miserable, am I lonely, am I denying myself because I don’t eat donuts as much as I’d like to eat donuts? I’m not.” Another husband responded, “Every time I got to the core of who I am, I knew that I wanted to be married to a woman and I knew that I wanted children. I wanted to be a father. I wanted to be called Daddy when I come home.”  The couples in the show are saying that they are doing what God wants them to do. 

Critics are fired up. More than 70,000 have already signed the petition to pull the show because it promotes “…the false and dangerous idea that gay people can and should choose to be straight in order to be part of their faith communities.”  The CEO of GLAAD said, “It’s irresponsible to be airing a show with the content that gives the idea that sexual orientation is a choice and that’s a discredited and old idea.” Robin Roberts responded, “The gay community is really fired up about it. Just as the woman there said from GLADD to even give the idea that it is a choice can be extremely dangerous especially for young people who are dealing with their sexuality and trying to figure things out.”
 
So here are men who, although they are attracted to men, desperately want a wife and family, yet are being criticized for the choice to get married and have a traditional family. They are married to women who know their struggle, who love them the way they are, yet they all seem happily married.
 
How can the critics claim that this is not helpful to others who are struggling with their sexual identity? Can they not see that this actually gives a choice to those who may have certain sexual desires, yet those desires are outweighed by their desire to be a part of a traditional family? Why can't they see that all human beings have desires, like wanting to eat too many donuts, but we can choose for ourselves if donuts are to be part of our diet or not. This choice and discipline are part of living a  healthy life and to object to such choices is to not really want freedom, but instead, is it not an attempt to deny a choice? Most men struggle with some sexual desire that they choose to control. This is normal, natural, and healthy to analyze if acting on one's desires will enhance life or detract from God's best in life.

Life is about choices and often those choices go against our base desires.  When society first defines eating donuts as an innate desire, then tries to stop those who say they love donuts, but prefer health foods for their choice of lifestyle, it is a shame to try to drown out this choice as if it does not exist.  No healthy person defines who they are by their desires, but by their choices. How can this be dangerous to young people to know they have a choice? I just don't get it and it grieves me.

Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.
I Timothy 4:7
 

Comments (35)

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FREEINDEED's avatar

FREEINDEED · 533 weeks ago

"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." (John 15:19)

No need to get fired up about this, Lori. It's to be expected.
4 replies · active 533 weeks ago
The way you think is amazing to me! I agree 100% and people just would prefer not to be responsible for their choices! "If I have gay desires and straight desires I DON'T have a choice about it, I must act on the gay desires because they are there!" No you don't! Everyone has a choice, but if it is perceived that people don't have a choice then they can't be held accountable! Although they will be held accountable by God.

Its similar to a drug addict, they cant stop, they DON'T have a choice. But they DO! And it's okay for others to step into this self-destructive behavior (drugs) and intervene but not it's not okay to step in and provide help for people who are acting on gay desires? Double Standard.

Denying gay desires or drugs may not be easy but if you ask God for help you can do it!

People need to start being accountable for their choices, and I think that's part of the problem.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
"Why can't they see that all human beings have desires, like wanting to eat too many donuts, but we can choose for ourselves if donuts are to be part of our diet or not." Couldn't agree with this more! We are all prone to sin. Some are more prone to lie, some homosexual desires, some gluttony, some laziness, they are all sins and they all CAN be controlled.
2 replies · active 533 weeks ago
What the critics are really objecting to is the idea that people can control themselves and that not every desire should be acted upon. We live in a hedonistic culture that lives and breathes the mantra that we should always do what we want to do - that our desires are always natural and good and should be pursued. In fact, they go one step further and say that desires CAN'T be denied and we shouldn't even try because it's pointless and only makes us miserable. The proof that someone can control themselves and say no to their desires - and that they're happy in the process! - shows how false hedonism is. And it makes people furious because a big part of their rationalization for their sinful actions is this idea that they can't help it.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
Josh Weed is a homosexual man married to a woman. He has a terrific blog and they are actually expecting their fourth child. He goes into detail about how their marriage works and what he went through as a young person trying to reconcile his sexuality but also his faith and desire for a biological family. His wife Lolly is an amazing gal full of compassion. I have learned a lot from reading her side of things too. They really have an amazing marriage. I can appreciate how being gay means being destined to experience significant loss. If you choose the path of "giving in" to desires, you lose the opportunity to have a biological family. If you choose to have a biological family, you lose the opportunity to partner with whom you feel genuinely attracted to. I think the other thing those who are against these shows don't want to admit is that the proponents of biological family are being clear that mother and father is BEST for the child. Those who support gay marriage want to do away with any importance about the necessity of father or mother in a child's life. That having 2 parents is enough. In gay families a child has been denied a key relationship (father or mother) ON PURPOSE! And that is really sad to me. How many therapist chairs have been filled due to the lack of a father or mother in a child'd life? No kid ever prays at night for a second mom.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
Thanks for tackling such a controversial and difficult subject. It has always amazed me how much "choice" is used for the liberal agenda. Of course, the term liberal indicates freedom to do whatever one desires. Yes, laws and bigotry often remove choices from a person's life, but to shut down people who actually choose not to act on their bent, desires, or personality in order to live what they consider a better and more healthy life - now that is true oppression! Good post.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
Good for those families who are so brave to speak out about their struggles! I hope & pray their message reaches the ears of those who are in most need of encouragement. We live in a society that has elevated sexual gratification to the highest form of self-expression and any attempt at restraint is viewed as repression rather than what it really is – self-control. I think it is no coincidence that the obesity epidemic and the so-called sexual revolution have occurred simultaneously. Both thrive on self-indulgence.

I do cringe at this being a reality show as reality shows are notoriously unreal with situations manufactured by the producers and “reality” being subject to much editing, manipulation, and even retakes to capture “the moment” just right. I expect these families will undergo the scrutiny all reality TV families must endure. It is an awful lot to ask of one’s children.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
I have read about one of these families but have never seen the show. I think TLC is making a big mistake if they take it off the air. We can all CHOOSE to follow God - life is about making correct choices to follow God! I teach high school and am appalled at how many students who would have been normal heterosexuals twenty years ago and have now decided they are "gay" because that is the "thing to be" right now. It almost seems like a "fad" to be gay - that is my observation. Kids are experimenting just like they experimented with drugs in the 1960s (and still do today). Our society is totally screwed up. Thanks for making us all aware of this. I know that TLC wanted to pull the Duggars show too over a gender related issue. Seems that the powers that be don't want anyone to follow God any more and it is destroying society.
2 replies · active 533 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 533 weeks ago

The Apostle Paul spoke of keeping under his body and bringing it into subjection (I Corinthians 9:27). So, too, can we, even in this "if it feels good, do it" culture. It may not be fun, or pleasant, but temperance is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). The lack of discipline causes all sorts of problems in life overall.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
I am just getting tired of Christians who are in favor of traditional marraige being labeled as "hateful". There is nothing further from the truth. Part of truly loving others is showing them God's word and gently pointing them in the right direction, as well as supporting them as they overcome temptation. If someone truly loved me, I would want them to love me enough to correct me if I am sinning and displeasing God. It is disheartening seeing so many people in society excusing all kinds of sin, including homosexuality, out of "love". God is love, and yet He is also just. He loves us enough to set boundaries, and when we step out of those boundaries and give the enemy a foothold, there will be consequences. I, for one, plan on watching this show if it still airs! We all face trials and temptations in life, and I think it's wonderful these men are overcoming it. The devil knows where we are weak and loves when we convince ourselves that it's acceptable to do whatever feels good at the moment and lose self-control. We need to ask God and others for help in those areaa and pray for strength to do what God wants, not what society wants.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
Live and let live, that's my motto!
I agree with you completely. I do have to admit I feel heartbroken for these wives though. How must that feel? I guess it is similar to wives whose husbands have dealt with pornography or any other sexual sin though.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
Many years ago, I used to watch the Simpsons(*shudder*) in one episode, Bart Simpson was growing tired of everyone telling him what to do. He wanted to do only what he felt like doing when he felt like doing it. His mother, Marge, reminded him that's just not the way the world works. Anyways, Bart had a somewhat Groundhog Day experience, where the people of the town only did what they felt like doing when they felt like doing it. Bart enjoyed it at first, but it didn't take long for him to see the error in his thinking. He learned that it is good to obey authority.
Mankind don't like to obey, and they certainly do not like to be told they are responsible for their thoughts, emotions, actions and impulses. No one else. And that these things, particularly with Gods help, can be controlled. God exposes our sin and forces us to deal with it. So that we can grow. This is offensive to mankind as they only want to do what they feel like and give into impulses as they like with no responsibility or consequences. But if they adamantly defy God, he will eventually give them email over to their evil lusts. Like Bart soon discovered. If the world only did as they pleased, absolute chaos would reign. Even the universe has natural laws it abides by that even baffles scientists. It doesn't do as it pleases. I hope the show stays on the air.
2 replies · active 533 weeks ago
Watching Dennis Jernigens testimony in his movie documentary "sing over me" has changed my thinking on this matter. It is worth the watch. A godly man who struggled his whole young life until He met God deeply and personally. Highly recommend watching it.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago
I adore gay men. They've always treated me better than conservative "Christian" women.
1 reply · active 533 weeks ago

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