Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Big Fat Feminist Mistake


One of my readers asked me if I had read The Feminine Mystique.  I had not and she told me it was completely opposite of what I teach.  Wikipedia has a quote from the book and I thought I would share it with you ~

Friedan points out that the average age of marriage was dropping and the birthrate was increasing for women throughout the 1950s, yet the widespread unhappiness of women persisted, although American culture insisted that fulfillment for women could be found in marriage and housewifery; this chapter concludes by declaring "We can no longer ignore that voice within women that says: 'I want something more than my husband and my children and my home.'"

Therefore, women believed this lie and left their homes and families in droves to become like men. They wanted to be the providers and protectors thinking that this would make them much more fulfilled!  Yes, a lie from the pit of hell.

The Bible is very clear what a woman's role is and how valuable it is.  If women are told how valuable keeping a home, ministering to a husband, and raising children is, then they will learn to enjoy this role.  It is all about attitude and who they are listening to.

How can raising a future generation be less valuable than doing anything else?  Husbands are commanded to work to provide for this most important job of keeping a home and raising children.  This is why God in His wisdom commanded older women to teach young women to love their husbands and children and to be keepers at home.  He knew the enemy of our souls would give a completely different message than the Truth and cause discontentment from the wonderful role and ministry He gave to women.

The best way to fight this big fat lie from Satan is to love your husband.  Serve, honor, please, submit to, and obey him.  Love your children by raising them with consistent discipline and continual affirmation.  Keep your home warm and inviting by keeping it tidy and full of wonderful aromas from nourishing food being fixed.  This is our most effective way to battle the enemy!

Finally, do all these things with a thankful and joyful attitude knowing you are doing exactly what God has called you to do.  Never allow grumbling or complaining to enter your home.  Make it an unwelcome guest in your home!

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44

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Posted by Always Learning at 6:00 AM
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Cynthia Swenson · 585 weeks ago

This is so good Lori, but your typo in the 3rd paragraph has me chuckling, (I lie instead of a lie). Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
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Liza · 585 weeks ago

This is a case of "the grass is always greener" gone horribly wrong. Women saw their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, friends, all doing the same thing and thought it would be exciting to out and do something different. It would be so much more exciting to do something different from all the other women!
But now women are "stuck"outside the home. If a woman says she wants to stay home instead of work she is "lazy" and "not living up to her abilities" and "throwing her life away" or "wasting her mind/ college education."
They left the home to find something new, and in doing so they made being a "stay at home mom/ wife" unacceptable. We're told "Women fought so hard for their rights, and you're backtracking by raising kids and cooking!" Now that people see what women are capable of, they think that the women should be working just as hard as men.
10 replies · active 585 weeks ago
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Courtney · 585 weeks ago

Why do you think women responded so strongly to this book? In the 1950s, women were hearing the message everywhere that "keeping a home, ministering to a husband, and raising children" were the most valuable, fulfilling work they could be doing. If the 1950s family model was the right one for all women, why did The Feminine Mystique resonate with so many housewives? Women wrote Betty Friedan thousands of letters saying they felt such relief to read what they had been thinking/feeling, that she "called it perfectly", even that reading the book saved their lives. I'm just saying I don't think the book persuaded or convinced women of something many weren't already feeling, or it wouldn't have sparked a movement. Why were so many women feeling that way to begin with?
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
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Tiffany · 585 weeks ago

Beautifully written. The quote that said "I want something more than my husband, children, and home" just made me sad. That is all I have EVER wanted, and I absolutely do feel 110% fulfilled by those roles. I believe those desires are God given and innate. I have been watching 19 Kids and Counting with my husband in the evenings on Netflix, and we have been so impressed by Michelle Duggar's happy, optimistic, kind, and cheerful disposition. She shows the complete opposite of feminism and yet she is so full of joy.
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Victoria · 585 weeks ago

I think what was missing from all the women who felt "unfulfilled" was God and a relationship with him. He is what gives us fulfillment so that we don't have to have more or think the grass is greener on the other side. He gives us contentment and joy no matter what the situation. I still think that certain women are blessed by God to pursue fields such as science and math and have proved valuable. However, I really believe a life centered on God is the balm for our aching souls.
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Another Mrs. P · 585 weeks ago

Apparently there is another Mrs. P out there so I won't use that name this time. :)

This post made me think of this quote by C. S. Lewis: “I think I can understand that feeling about a housewife’s work being like that of Sisyphus (who was the stone rolling gentleman). But it is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, miners, cars, government etc exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? As Dr. Johnson said, “To be happy at home is the end of all human endeavor”. (1st to be happy to prepare for being happy in our own real home hereafter: 2nd in the meantime to be happy in our houses.) We wage war in order to have peace, we work in order to have leisure, we produce food in order to eat it. So your job is the one for which all others exist…” (pg 447-Letter of CS Lewis 1988 ed.)
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
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Charlotte · 585 weeks ago

I find it interesting how frequently people seem to demonize feminism. I grew up in a household where my mother was always at home and was an excellent homemaker and taught me everything I needed to know to run a home. She only ever had good things to say about feminism. Feminism allowed women to have choices, or on a more basic level, it gave them options. There have always been and will always be women who never get married, whose husbands become disabled or die, or who get divorced. Even if people believe generally that it is better for a woman to be a stay-at-home mother (which I believe is a wonderful occupation to enter into!) I think most would agree that it is also wonderful that now, unlike in the '50's and before, women can enter the workforce and make a living sufficient to support any children they might have, or to support themselves if they don't have a husband or something happens to him. In the 50's there were really 3 professions a woman could enter into--teacher, nurse, or secretary. If she was no good at any of those, she could be a waitress or engage in another menial task for limited wages that would cause her to struggle financially her entire life.

I am grateful for the feminist movement. I am a single woman who has never been married and have no immediate prospects. I don't intend to live with the expectation that my husband must be just around the corner--I may not get married for another 20 years or 40 or never. I am grateful that I am now able to go to college and educate myself in a way that would have been unbecoming 60 years ago. I am grateful that society sees that I am worth something and doesn't believe there is something wrong with me just because I'm not married in my mid-20's.

Whatever qualms people have with feminism regarding it driving women out of the home, it has allowed women to be able to care for themselves and children if needed which previously wouldn't have been possible. I think we should all be grateful for that.
4 replies · active 550 weeks ago
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shannon · 585 weeks ago

Thanks Lori. Great post!
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Lady Virtue · 585 weeks ago

Thank you, Lori, for exposing the evils of this book and feminism in general. God bless.
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Courtney · 585 weeks ago

Lori, the discussion here has me wondering something... What if the feminist movement had never told women they SHOULD leave the home, or disparaged women who stayed home, or anything like that? What if instead, it only made it possible for women to have equal education and career opportunities if they wanted? Would you still be opposed to it?
3 replies · active 585 weeks ago
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simplyhoosier 1p · 585 weeks ago

I never felt it was acceptable to "just be a wife and mom." It was always expected that I do more. I was miserable working and going to school after we had our first son. Hubby and I both said, "Enough," and I began staying home (and quit crying every morning when I had to leave my son). 10yrs of marriage and four boys later I try my best to encourage other moms and wives in the journey. I had no idea how to run a household when I got married (at 19) and had no one to teach me. I think those skills would have been more useful than all the silly philosophy classes and sociology classes I sat through to earn my Sec Ed teaching degree.
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cloverdoll 6p · 585 weeks ago

Growing up in the 80s/90s the topic of most conversation was... "What career? What do you plan to do with your life?" All I wanted was to be a wife & mother. Sure some jobs sounded nice like accounting because I love number or restaurant owner because I love to cook. Yet I sit here as a SAHM doing exactly what I had hoped I'd ever do.

Went to college, obtained an associate degree, worked in many different fields, and none have been as satisfying as staying at home to dote on my hard working husband, molding my impressionable children, and tending to my tiny dwelling.
1 reply · active 550 weeks ago

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