Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Our Desire For Our Husband


We all know God gave curses to Eve after sin entered the world.  
Her curse was ~

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception;  in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.  
Genesis 3:16

Desiring our husbands sounds like a good thing, right?   What that really means, however, is our desire will be to control our husband.  In my experience,  I would say that most women do want to control their husbands.  Now, we see it is part of the curse.  God also said husbands will rule over their wives.

Isn't it just like our awesome God, however, to change something that looks so bad, a "curse," and make it a blessing?  When our eyes are opened and we no longer want to control our husbands, but allow them to be the leaders, our marriages start getting better.  

Yes, everything having to do with childbearing is painful to most women:  PMS, periods, pregnancy, delivery, and menopause but our great God brings precious babies out of all this pain.  Even in His curses, He works all things for good for us.

Even a man's curse to toil the ground turns into a blessing.  Hard work is fulfilling and provides for one's family.  And the biggest curse of all, death, He conquered on the cross over 2,000 years ago so we can live eternally with Him.  What an awesome God we serve!

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Posted by Always Learning at 6:00 AM
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Cynthia's avatar

Cynthia · 583 weeks ago

I hadn't heard this interpretation of "your desire shall be for your husband" before. Did you come up with it, or is there some other source for it?

The explanation that I heard previously was that this is a reference to emotional dependency by the woman, which makes her more liable to be dominated by the man.
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Lori Alexander 122p · 583 weeks ago

We use Scripture to interpret Scripture. The only other place desire is used is in reference with Cain and Abel, "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:7. Sin's desire is to control.
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Cabinetman's Wife · 583 weeks ago

Thank you for sharing this Lori! This passage is so often misunderstood, thank you for sharing it accurately.
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2happy4 66p · 583 weeks ago

I have also found that The Lord lays out instructions for our lives to go more smoothly than they do even with the curse. When we eat properly and get exercise and are physically aligned we mitigate the curse of pain for periods, child bearing, menopause etc. because our hormones are more imbalance and our bodies are working properly. God has also laid out in scripture ways to look to Him to receive knowledge in working the soil and finding a man's life work. Again God gives us a way to mitigate our desire to rule our husbands by giving us a direct path to Him. Just as Sarah said, "May The Lord judge between you and me" as opposed to nagging or berating Abraham she was able to give things to The Lord and let it go. She didn't have fear as recalled in Hebrews but she was able to call Abraham Lord knowing that her fate was in God's hands.
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Cabinetman's Wife · 583 weeks ago

While I agree that eating properly and exercise does help with the physical aspects of the pain and such, I think it's difficult to say this as a comparison of present times to past. Yes, our modern diet has greatly increased the affects of the curse, however, until 70 years ago or so, most of what we eat (as in added preservatives, coloring, stabilizers, flavor enhancers, artificial stuff) was not in food. And yet, because it was part of the curse, women still bore the symptoms. I just think we need to be cautious in how we say this. Perhaps I should say that I've suffered excruciatingly with PMS. I have found much relief by eating real foods, often prepared the traditional way. But I see a place of caution in which we need to tread because many of the people teaching such things are teaching that through diet, we can eliminate PMS. No, we can't. It's part of the curse. I think it has been much amplified in recent years because of the foreign "food-like" things we put into our body, but we cannot negate it.

I know you used the word mitigate (lessen), and I'm not arguing with you the validity of a beneficial diet. I'm just saying we need to tread with caution that following a legalistic diet will eliminate female issues. It won't. That won't happen until the new heaven and new earth.

I have found MUCH relief taking my cycle from unbearable to what is just worse than normal. Yes, food has power, but the curse still exists.

Blessings.
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2happy4 66p · 583 weeks ago

I am not saying any of these things.
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Emily's avatar

Emily · 583 weeks ago

Our pastor is speaking on covenants and just spoke
on this passage from Genesis. He said there were two views
on what "desire" meant in this passage - sexual desire and
desire for control. He said he believed the desire for
control was more in line with scripture and quoted Gen 4:7 verse
also. This series of messages our pastor is giving is very
interesting and lately has been fiting in with your blog posts.
I can relate to your phrase, "When our eyes are opened." It took
a lot of reading the Pearl's materials and your blog before
MY eyes were opened to how I was in a constant struggle to
control my husband. Those years were miserable. I'm not done
learning, but the control issue is no longer a biggie.
Praise God for opening my eyes to my destructive behavior!
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shannon's avatar

shannon · 583 weeks ago

Thanks Lori!
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Scott's avatar

Scott · 582 weeks ago

Actually you need to separate the comments. Because Eve sinned by deceiving her husband to get him to partake of the fruit of the tree God commanded both Adam and Eve not to eat-- she was cursed. (as an aside Adam was also cursed-- their actions and motivations were different and thus were the punishments unique and specific. Adam transgressed by partaking and hearkening to his wife's act to have Adam reject to the Dominion of God and the dominion delegated to him by God. Eve actions to deceive Adam to partake usurped the Adam's dominion which she was eye-witness.)
The reality is that most of so-called Christendom falsely interprets the statement: "He shall rule over thee" as a curse. IT IS NOT! It is a commandment. All commandments come with a blessing for obedience and a punishment (or curse) for that commandments breach/violation. And every action comes with consequences. The pain and life endangered situation with child-bearing is a curse.
If men and women understood the command of leadership which flows from the delegation of dominion given to Adam and his posterity-- Men would strive to be more godly so their leadership would be that of loving service rather than domination that is inherently done with hatred rather than love. The mind of a woman desires to see and know her husband loves her as himself. And that was in fact commanded to the man in the scriptures (which if followed) fills that desire & need of a woman.
A woman is both commanded and reminded of the leadership inherent with the dominion given to Adam and his sons-- by that command "He shall rule over thee"
History is replete with examples of the misery and divorce from women seeking to usurp their husband's God given role and their effort to manipulate and control their husbands or damage and/or steal the affections of children from their father. History also shows when women accept and obey the commandment and seek to support and act in loving submission to their husbands-- those men act with greater and greater efforts to be the men of God called them to be. The results are more healthy relationships and more beautiful families.
Adam and Eve's lives did not end in the Garden nor with the period at the end of the extremely brief description of actions written by Moses in abbreviated summation found in the 1st Book of Moses we call Genesis. They had together a very long and rich life. Part of their children sinned and fell away from them and from God. And some of their children followed their steps of repentance and perfecting of their lives. They repented and made themselves in every way the quintessence of the best couple and Parents for us to have as an archetype and goal.
Too many fail to see the truths of these two wonderful people.
To my dear sisters I stress -- you will find true joy if you love and support your husband rather than trying to pull him down. And to you my brothers -- your joy in your wife will only come with Christ-like love in serving to give her the home, sustenance and opportunity to be a mother to children God will send to your union. If you love God with all your heart and your wife as yourself -- he will open a way for you to be with her forever.
yours truly
Scott

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