Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Make Discipline Effective


The Bible speaks very clearly about child discipline because it doesn't come naturally to most mothers.  We don't like to see our toddler cry, and we don't like to be the cause of their tears.  But firm, loving discipline at this age saves many tears and much heartache later on.  {Helen Aardsma}

When Helen had five small children, she started a group in her church called "The Young Mother's Class."  Women were coming to her needing to be taught how to be mothers and wives.  One woman named Vikki started attending.  She had two sons that were very undisciplined.  Helen taught about biblical discipline.

One day Vikki's sons were misbehaving so she took them into her van to spank them.  They ran out a few minutes later laughing and continuing in their misbehavior.  Helen told her, "The pain of the spanking has to be greater than the joy of their disobedience. When you do it right, there will be crying and tears."  Discipline that is not painful, is not effective. {Hebrews 12:11}

Vikki started implementing this and soon she had well-behaved sons and every one began enjoying them.  "Other areas began to to be transformed in the women's lives too.  Women began submitting to their husbands. Women with husbands who were unsaved or backslidden began applying I Peter 3:1,2 with remarkable results.  Women who were previously outspoken in church business meetings learned to whisper ideas to their husbands instead.  Women began cutting back on time spent away from home to truly become keepers at home."

Disciplining our children and being submissive do not come naturally to most women.  It is against our nature without God's wisdom.  This is why God commands older women to teach the younger women.  I have tried God's ways and they work.  Teachable women try His ways and find they work also.

Women stop reading my blog when I write about spanking and submission. They have unteachable hearts.  Yes, I know some children have been raised to be good adults without spankings but God tells us to discipline our children with rods {spank}.  I believe God.  His ways are good and they work.

Vikki only wanted two children because her sons were so difficult.  After attending Helen's class and learning how to discipline her sons, she had four more children and learned to be a happy wife and mother at home to her six children.

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, 
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, 
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 13:24 

Comments (27)

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I llove the posts on submission and spankings, because that's what I need more reminding of than anything! Keep on writing. I am hoping to be a wise, old, godly lady one day so I am a faithful reader. I don't even have to leave the comfort of my beautiful home to take a class, I just get to learn online, and practice on my five little ones at home. Smile!
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
Yes, discipline is very important for children. Unfortunately, many in our society have fallen for the lie that life is all about being happy. And so they assume that the purpose of parenting is to make our kids happy. That's not it at all. The purpose of parenting is to raise our children to be disciplined, responsible, and Godly adults. Of course, we want our children to be happy. But true happiness doesn't come from chasing pleasure. It comes from being in the will of God. Making our children temporarily unhappy (through proper discipline) in order to make them learn to do what is right is a necessary part of being a good parent.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
When people ask me what I want for my daughter, I no longer tell them that I just want her to be happy. I want her to listen to God's call. No one ever said that life will be all happy.

I am glad to read posts about spanking and submission. Thank you for caring enough to write them.

God Bless and have a wonderful day.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I attended a class in the 90's called "Growing Kids God's Way". It was INVALUABLE to me then (as a then-single mom of two small ones) and now (as a happily married mom of two semi-adults and two small ones). Many of those principles I still use to this day. That program absolutely does teach CHASTISEMENT (spanking) with very specific guidelines. But
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 632 weeks ago

This is well written Lori, I see God clearly leading you here as you tackle a touchy subject with boldness. I love Vikki's testimony how learning to effectively discipline her children changed her life! I love your courage Lori! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I really struggle with this one. Not with discipline -- I feel like I discipline my children and I am very strict. They are very well behaved for their ages. Their teachers at church and preschool love them and say they are the best behaved in the class. And even though in my mind I am against spanking, I do spank them on occasion. The part that is hard for me is that I have never once spanked when I was calm with a clear head. I feel like it isn't right to spank out of anger/rage. And yet when I'm the most angry, is when I end up spanking. I do feel like there are effective ways to discipline without spanking and losing my cool. Maybe there are moms out there who can stay calm and spank but I just feel like I'm not one of them! I have regretted spanking every time! (But what do I know? I'm still just starting out in motherhood!)
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I need to hear this every day, every minute. My son and I are really struggling right now. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I'm wondering if you advocate spanking primarily or if spanking is just part of other discipline? I feel like my kids are getting old enough now (5 and 4) that spanking should only be for severe infractions and that other consequences (like taking away privileges, writing scripture verses, chores, ect) are more in order now. The Bible never says how often and for what infractions to spank for so it seems to be up to the parent in that way..
4 replies · active 632 weeks ago
"Women who were previously outspoken in church business meetings learned to whisper ideas to their husbands instead." Are you kidding me??!!! What church do YOU go to??
I suggest you read;

Matthew 28:1-8 (New International Version)
" After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”
So let me get this straight---YOU say "Women who were previously outspoken in church business meetings learned to whisper ideas to their husbands instead." So women are not to be heard at church meetings? (and I assume you do not accept women in ministry positions either??)
Jesus first appearance after the resurrection was to women who he told to "Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. And "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee." Now that i would call a vital example of ministry when Jesus tells the women to GO AND TELL! Can't be much more direct that what Jesus told them to do!!
So women are told to "Tell" and "go" after the most important time in Jesus ministry---the resurrection.....but you say women are not to speak in JESUS's church business meetings and "whisper ideas to their husbands instead." Perhaps you think YOUR way of sharing God's message (only men are to speak up) is better than Jesus's???
3 replies · active 632 weeks ago
I read different interpretations of what this could mean. The spirit of this word is definitely discipline though. However for some parents I think they use this scripture to justify hitting in anger and during ages that could either damage a child's mind or teach them to hit others. It is very important you check you heart and walk with the Lord if you are going to put a hand to your child especially if you grew up being hit the wrong way. You could do more harm than good. Also, when I was spanked as a child I remember thinking how silly it was and that a better punishment would have been to take my toys away or something. My dad did it right and not in a blaze of anger. Just another thought, does God smack us when we are bad? I wonder how it transfers to how he disciplines us. Can discipline take other forms and be just as effective?
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
Another note...I wonder how the Duggars from TLC discipline their kids. They have 20 and they are so well behaved.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago

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