Monday, September 9, 2013

Can Sex Simply Become A Chore?

A young woman asked me,  "I just prefer to think of sex as something that is just as much for me as it is for him.  I was going to venture to say that I think most men would like to know their wives enjoy sex and want it as much as they do.  But the more I think about it, I'm not so sure.  What do you think?  Do most men want their wives to enjoy sex as much as they do?  Or would most men rather feel like their wives were serving them when it comes to sex?  I think I could understand both ways, so now I'm honestly curious what others would say."

She hasn't been married a long time and asks an honest question.  Men have ten times the testosterone women have.  The majority of men want sex a lot more than their wives.  Sure, there are many times when the wives enjoy sex but having periods, PMS, childbirth, and menopause affect our libidos.

I think when a wife lovingly gives her husband sex even when she doesn't feel like it, she is meeting a powerful need that he has.  Most men get married so they can have sex.  It is the way God made them. Most women just do not have the drive that men have.

Do husbands care if their wives aren't enjoying it as much as they are every single time they have sex?  I doubt it as long as she isn't grumbling and complaining while having sex!  If she learns the pleasure of pleasing her husband and the closeness between the two, it can be a very enjoyable experience for her.

It is all a matter of mindset for most women.  I encourage young women preparing for marriage to decide to enjoy sex.  Make up your mind to like it even before you have it and give it to your husband freely.  If you have that mindset, it is not a chore but a way to make your husband happy and a wonderful form of ministry!

Drink water from your own cistern,
 flowing water from your own well. 
Should your springs be scattered abroad, 
streams of water in the streets? 
Let them be for yourself alone, 
and not for strangers with you. 
Let your fountain be blessed, 
and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:15-18