Tuesday, March 10, 2015

She Has a Soft and Teachable Spirit

She found my blog. Read a couple of posts and then wrote me this on my Facebook wall ~

I stumbled across your blog today, and after reading a couple things a switch went off in my brain and I suddenly realized I need to make some big changes happen in myself! Looking forward to reading more!

Then she asked to be in the chat room and wrote the following ~

I'm mainly looking to vent but would appreciate any advice or support anyone has. I feel so guilty. I've been having problems in my marriage and I've been viewing my husband as the cause of our problems and now I am realizing it is me. I am constantly nagging at him and telling him he watches too much TV and plays too many video games. I am constantly hinting at him that I think he doesn't help me enough around the house and with our 3 kids. I call him a slob. Me and him have different views when it comes to parenting and I find myself criticizing things he does and says to the kids constantly. I also get way too easily offended and am always over thinking and getting angry at things he says. And I've been sitting here feeling like a victim because of the things he does. And now I am just feeling silly, and desperately wanting to turn things around. I feel like I have done so much damage. I realize that I need to change and I am hoping and praying that I will succeed.

I responded to her this way ~

Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl is what changed my marriage, opened my eyes to all of my faults and jump started my journey into becoming a godly, submissive help meet to my husband. Yes, it is a journey. You may not change over night but the first step is ALWAYS seeing your fault in the conflict in your marriage. Begin smiling at him and STOP arguing, controlling and trying to change him. In other words, treat him like a husband with respect, not as a child. You have a teachable heart and a listening ear. You've won half of the battle right there!

She replied ~

Thank you, Lori Alexander, I will check out that book! And yes, even though I am feeling guilt, I am feeling relief that I have begun to see my own faults because before I was just feeling hopeless thinking we were going to be miserable forever, and now I have hope that things will turn around!

I encouraged her with these words ~

I know you'll turn it around! A wise woman builds up her home and a foolish one tears it down. Woman have a ton of influence in the home and marriage. Why do you think Proverbs is full of verses warning about quarreling and nagging wives?

It would be SO wonderful if all Christian women had such soft and teachable spirits.

Give instruction to a wise man, 
and he will be still wiser;
 teach a righteous man, 
and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:9

***The necklace my daughter is wearing in the picture was made by my daughter-in-law, Erin. Here is her etsy shop if you're interested  in buying one! {My daughter isn't the one this post is about. I just liked this picture!}