Divorced Parents Raise Less Religious Children

If passing your faith onto your children is of utmost importance to you as it was to me, do everything in your power to stay married to your husband until death do you part. Have you noticed how faith is dwindling in this country as the divorce rate rises? There is a reason for this and it is the same reason God hates divorce: it's consequences are devastating on the children and future generations.

When Ken and I got married, we made a pact with each other that divorce would never be in our vocabulary. Marriage was for life for both of us through all the trials we most undoubtedly would go through. Having been home full time with my children and staying committed to Ken was instrumental in raising secure and mentally stable children who love the Lord and it will be for your children too. I am sure all of you know many people who have come from broken homes and the devastation it has caused in their lives. Do you want this for your children?

God hates divorce. He is clear about this in His Word. Marriage is defined by Him and is one man and one woman becoming one flesh until death do they part. What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder (Matthew 10:9). One of the purposes of marriage is to create godly offspring.

There have been studies on the effect of divorce on children and how more and more children are walking away from their faith because of their parent's divorce.  An article about this issue states that divorce is not as high as it used to be but that is because more couples just live together and when they split up, it’s not called divorce. But it harms the children just as much as if their parents divorced and has a great potential of causing them to leave the faith if they have any. (It's tragic how many couples who call themselves Christians are living with each other before marriage these days.)

Much has been said about younger Americans tending to shy away from religion in much greater numbers than previous generations, but now, researchers think they may have found the culprit…if you want your children to stay in church, it helps to stay with your spouse.

If they see the church fail to keep their parents together, they might not rely on it for other struggles they encounter in life.

Luther Seminary professor Andrew Root told The Washington Post, "Everything in a divorce gets divided. Literally everything. … Everyone takes sides. Even religion takes sides. The church gets divided. Dad leaves Mom's faith, or vice versa. Negotiating those worlds becomes difficult."

Marriage and families are what great cultures are built upon. As marriages crumble so do societies and you can see this happening in ours. Gangs are becoming more and more prevalent because of the lack of a father in these young men's lives. They are looking for a family to be a part of and it is the wrong family.

Divorce causes so much pain and bitterness in children since many times they believe it was their fault that their parents divorced and this often causes them to grow up to be angry adults. Most times, this anger is directed at God (atheists are just people who are mad at God for how He's running the world) and they don't want to have anything to do with a God that would allow the break up of their family.

Children want and need a mother and father in the same home. Fight for your marriage, women. Fight for the souls of your husband, if he is not a believer, and for the souls of your children. I have seen women who are married to unbelievers raise godly children because they stayed with their unbelieving husband and this gave security to the children. The believing mothers sanctified the home with their presence (1 Corinthians 7:14) since Jesus lives inside of them. The children were modeled a godly mother and wanted what she had.

Many women come to me or to the chat room and have been told by almost every one in their life to divorce their husband. They won’t hear that message from me or those in the chat room. We encourage women to stay married, win their husband without a word by being in subjection to them with godly behavior, and give their children the security of a home united and faith in Christ being displayed for all to see.

Choose you this day whom ye will serve 

but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15

Taking Pictures With Tongues Out

As many of you know, I have two new granddaughters. One was born in July and the other in August. They are beautiful and fun to watch. We laugh when their little tongues come continually out of their mouths. When they toot, we think it's funny. When they burp, we all laugh and are happy they got their air out so it won't cause a tummy ache. All of their noises are so sweet to all of us. However, when grown women are doing these things, they aren't funny or cute anymore. It is disgusting and they are not being discreet.

Sticking out your tongue for pictures and having tooting and burping contests are common among women today. I hear it directly from them. They think it's funny. The Bible tells us otherwise: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) Even as our children grew older, they never stuck their tongues out or looked like the girl in the picture. We would never have allowed this. They didn't burp or toot on purpose in front of us either. (I actually never heard them burp since they had healthy gallbladders.) We taught them from a young age to have manners. 

 Godly women are called to be discreet and not do anything to draw attention to themselves. They are not children anymore and should not do childish things. It's amazing that I even have to teach younger women this today. When I was growing up, we never did such things. We would have been mortified! If we had to pass gas, we held it until we were alone. (If you have a lot of gas, you need to find out to heal your digestive system and I am sure less sugar and more real foods with probiotics will help.)

I don't ever remember having a problem with burping. I have heard that if you burp a lot, you are having problem with your gall bladder so check out ways to heal your gallbladder. (Ken had many horrible gall bladder attacks but was able to heal it completely.) I would have never stuck out my tongue for pictures, ever. When I see women do this, it looks disgusting. Tongues are meant to help us talk and eat to enjoy our food, not show off to other people, especially when they are coated with a thick white film which usually means they eat too much dairy and other unhealthy foods. (You may want to check out how to heal this too.)

Be a godly feminine woman. Show discretion in all that you do and don't try to gain attention by doing something that is ugly. You are grown up now and have put childish ways behind you. No longer give into your feelings and emotions but be guided by the clear teachings of the Word of God. Don't follow what culture is doing but follow what the Lord wants you to do: "Let it be the hidden person of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (1 Peter 3:4).

Next time someone takes a picture of you, stand up tall and smile with the tongue in where it's supposed to be. You will look much more feminine and pretty this way.

Blogging and Neglecting Your Family

God specifically states that leaders in the church shouldn’t be young so they won’t be puffed up with pride; Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil (1 Timothy 3:6). A novice is “a person new to or inexperienced in a field or situation.” I read blogs written by young women with huge followings and they write books and tour the country giving speeches. I see a problem with this and one of my friends did too. She wrote me this text:

 I read ______ blog post and, oh my, that woman needs some serious conviction and repentance. It's embarrassing to see a Christian mom so irresponsible and unconcerned about her lack of stewardship over her household and children. And she gives women with more than two children a bad name and is feeding into people’s idea that they shouldn't have multiple children because they won't be able to handle it. How can she so proudly display her sin for all to see? She needs to stop spending her time blogging, speaking, and writing and fulfill her role as a wife and mom. She absolutely does have the time and energy to be a godly mother, but she decides to spend her energies on people outside her home at the expense of her family.

 The problems I see with these women are that for starters, many times they are teaching men in their crowds. Women are specifically forbidden for teaching men. “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet” (1 Timothy 2:12). Secondly, God has given the responsibility of teaching younger women to older women for a reason. They have experience raising children and being married for a long time. Younger women do not since they usually have children in the home who should be their first priority.

 On John Piper’s blog, a woman named Liz Wann wrote some strong words about being marinated in the Word and experiences in life before beginning any type of ministry to others, less there be a temptation to be puffed up with pride and begin living in sin. “Jesus is the sinless example of the intersection of public and private living. For starters, Jesus did not have a public ministry until his thirties. First, he sweated decades over the hard manual labor of carpentry. For the majority of his life, Jesus was unknown and seemingly ordinary. Yet he was faithful in the mundane. He worked with his hands and created form and beauty out of planks of wood… In some astonishingly mysterious way, Jesus’s pre-ministry years were purposeful and necessary for him to increase “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52) It was in the field of carpentry that Jesus learned and grew into a sympathetic High Priest, and it is here that he models for us that no form of work — even the most mundane — is below the God-man. It is a calling — a place to be, and live, authentically.”

 When God speaks about older women in the Bible, He is speaking about those who have raised children. “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:10). Older women should be those who have spent the “unknown and seemingly ordinary” days being “faithful in the mundane” of raising and disciplining children, being a help meet to their husband, and staying busy in the home. Younger women haven’t done this long enough and are still in the process of doing it.

 Don’t expect to have a blog with a large following while you are younger. Spend your days with your husband, children and keeping a clean and tidy home. Fame is a pit of destruction for many people, especially when they are young. They crawl into it since they believe they are “above the Law” and don’t practice what they preach or don’t have the experience they should have to be doing what they are doing.

If you are a mother with children still in the home, focus your time and energies on loving and obeying your husband. Be the best help meet to him you possibly can. Love your children and raise them to be self-controlled lovers of Jesus. Fix your family nourishing food, help those in need when you have time, and take care of all the things that a home requires. This is a good work and what the Lord has called you to do. Then if you have a bit of extra time to do some blogging, go ahead and do it but don't allow it to consume your time and energy. Always keep time with the Lord, your marriage, children and home your priority. This is God's will for you.

Josh and Anna Celebrate

Joshua and Anna Duggar just celebrated their eighth anniversary. This is what was said about them: “Throughout this ordeal, Anna remained faithful to her husband. While she publicly shared the deep grief and betrayal that she felt, she never once talked badly about Josh. She continued to trust in God and be strong for her children, and she waited patiently for her husband to complete his program and return home.”

The world can’t understand this type of love and forgiveness. They consistently ridicule the Duggar family’s values and of course they do. The Duggar family lives for the Lord and His glory, not the world’s. Yes, Josh committed terrible sins against his wife but she was determined to show him the grace and forgiveness the Lord shows us.

The Apostle Paul murdered Christians. “For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:9, 10). God showed His grace and forgiveness to an evil man who was murdering His children and used him in a mighty way. The Apostle Paul saw Jesus, took part in the beginnings of the Church, and wrote the most powerful books in the Bible.

God did this to show His depth of compassion and love upon us and that no one is beyond redemption. There are women in the chat room fighting for their marriages. Their husbands are living with their girlfriend, trapped in addictive drugs, and living in direct disobedience to the Lord. Yet, these women know what is at stake: their husband’s eternal souls. This is what they are fighting for. They have an eternal perspective, not a selfish, "it’s-all-about me and my pain" attitude.

The stakes are high, women. Eternity in hell is a long, long, time. Men who are caught in Satan’s web are blessed who have godly wives who are broken up inside from the rejection and suffering they are going through but continue to stand strong in the Lord like Anna. In the Lord’s strength, they are being Jesus to their disobedient husbands and showing love, warmth, and joy to them. It’s amazing to read their testimonies when their husbands come home and want healing for their marriage. Some begin going to church and loving the Jesus they see in their wives.

No, the world can’t understand denying ourselves and living for something so much bigger than us. Time here is short and it is far better to live our lives for others and for His glory than for ourselves and for the pleasures this world has to offer.

The Duggars are consistently being mocked for their faith because they are willing to put it on display for all to see. I have learned from them and I am sure many others have. We’ve learned what a blessing children and strong marriages are and the importance of dressing modestly. We’ve seen them go on mission trips, take treats to the local policemen and firemen, and how they handle difficulties by trusting in the Lord. We’ve seen them forgive others who have sinned against them. The children wait patiently for the one they are going to marry and stay pure during the courtship and engagement, then go on to have strong marriages, except the precious one who forgave her husband who sinned greatly against her.

I love the writings of Charles Spurgeon, as you know. He wrote: “You tell me there are no persecutions now. Indeed, perhaps if you followed Christ more fully, you would find out there were.” Follow Christ fully, trust the Lord, and expect to be ridiculed by many in this evil age but never take part in the mocking of other believers who are living their lives for the Lord. Rejoice with them when their prodigal comes home.

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

2 Timothy 3:12

Emotions Are Not Dictators

As we know from the Bible, women are the weaker sex (1 Peter 3:7) and are more easily deceived (1 Timothy 2:14). We allow our emotions to control some of our life and decisions. This is why God has said that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12). God made women and men differently for the different purposes He has created them for. He has created women to get married, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:4, 5). 

The reason women are flocking to Jesus Calling and many of the female Bible teachers and writers is because they appeal to their emotional nature. Women love to feel things. If they don't feel in love with their husbands, they will often divorce them to find another man they might feel in love with. They may not even feel that they love one of their children but they must regardless of their feelings. Women love to feel emotional over the Lord and His Word. I am not saying this is wrong but it shouldn't be our goal. Our goal should be to obey the Lord by doing what He has clearly told us to do in His Word without depending upon our emotions to lead us.

I went to a wonderful retreat this past weekend where a close friend of ours led a women's one-day retreat. Carol Hopson said, "Emotions are not dictators; they are indicators of our need to run to Jesus." Women absolutely have a tendency to allow their emotions to dictate their behaviors. Emotions and feelings aren't always right and often lie to us. 

When Fifty Shades of Grey was popular, I read some blogs and women praising this book and how much better their sex lives were from seeing this movie. They were being led by their emotions and not by love for their husbands. I am sure the women who had "great sex lives" from this movie don't have great sex lives anymore because emotional highs don't last very long. 

Since we know we are the weaker vessel and easily deceived, it is all the more reason to be in the Word daily and be led by the perfect will of God, no longer allowing our emotions to run and ruin our lives. If you want God to speak to you personally, as Justin Peter said, "Dear ones, if you want to hear God speak to you, there’s one way I can guarantee you that you will hear God speak, read your Bible. If you want to hear God speak to you audibly, read it out loud. I promise you, I promise you, you’ll hear Him speak."

 If you want to grow strong in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord, the only path is through His Word, not feel-good, warm and fuzzy devotionals, female preachers, emotions, and books. God's Word is convicting, challenging, and encouraging so read and listen to Christian authors, teachers, and male preachers who teach convicting, challenging, and encouraging messages.

If you're sick of being a baby Christian and only drinking milk, unable to distinguish clearly between right and wrong, and not understanding who you are in Christ, I encourage you to listen to this teaching by Michael Pearl on Romans 8. Romans is one of the most powerful and important books of the Bible. Paul explains what happens to us when we believe and how we can walk in the Spirit. Chapter 8 is the culmination of these teachings in Romans. This is good, solid meat for you to chew on and mature you in your walk with the Lord.

 The days are evil, women. We know our weaknesses so don't allow the enemy to have any foothold into your life and deceive you by following your emotions instead of the Word of God. Don't be led astray by the popular feel-good devotionals, sexually charged books or anything that doesn't line up with the pure Word of God. Walking in the Spirit and being set apart is what the Lord calls us to do. Heed the call and run to Jesus.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

2 Timothy 3:16, 17

Why Do Children Die?

Written By Michael Pearl

Many children die and it is so painful for the parents and all who loved these children. The parents ask, "Why?" and others ask "How could a loving God take a child when He controls everything?" People will say things like, "God must have needed them more than you" or others things that are painful for the parents to hear. Michael Pearl is asked about this in his latest magazine so I thought I would publish it here for you to see.

Question

My name is_____ and I am struggling with my faith. I don’t understand why God takes kids and good people up to him at such a young age. I have written fellow Christians and ministries in search of guidance, but they ignore my letters. I am hungry for Jesus and would be grateful if you would help me understand this.

—KVW

Michael Answers

You ask why “God takes” kids and good people at such a young age. Your question is based on incomplete and inaccurate assumptions.

Some of your false assumptions are:

       That everyone who dies does so because God decides to end their time here on earth

       That we are like dolls in a playhouse that God moves around at his pleasure

       That nothing happens unless it is his will

       That it is his duty to not allow anything bad to befall anyone

      That he must intervene and make only good things happen

       That staying here on earth is the best option; that it is bad to die and end up in God’s presence rather than staying here on earth in all the sin, sadness, and sometimes pain.

Furthermore, in expressing consternation over “bad things” happening to kids or good people, you are assuming that it is appropriate for bad things to happen to adults or bad people. In that case, you are assuming that youth or goodness merits some special favor from God, and that older adults or bad people deserve to die.

Only to provoke a point, I say you seem to know more than God does about what is best. If you were an adult I would tell you to read my book, By Divine Design. It addresses your underlying assumptions. I do not have space to address every point, and much could be said, but I will make a quick pass at answering your question.

When Christians or children die, they pass into God’s presence. Jesus said of children who die, “That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10). Paul said, “We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). He further revealed that he had “a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better” (Philippians 1:23). Paul, a “good man” considered it better to die and be with Christ. I am sure that many people were very sad at his departing, and some might have wondered why God would take such a good and useful man from their presence, but Paul was present with the Lord and was surrounded by children beholding the face of the Father. So even if you had the power to prevent him from dying or the power to bring him back, he would have chosen to stay dead and in the presence of God. And the children now beholding the face of the Father no doubt prefer their present circumstances to what they see down here on earth where people doubt God.

God does not always force his will in the face of human free will.

As to your assumption that God is the doer of all things and only his will is done, heed the passage that says God is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). God does not will that any should perish, yet many perish every day. God does not always force his will in the face of human free will. He allows us to live in an environment of cause and effect, making our own choices and learning from them, suffering the consequences of violating the laws of nature.

Solomon said, “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all” (Ecclesiastes 9:11). Contrary to popular belief, one can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and by chance catch a disease or be hit by a car and die. God doesn’t make such things happen, except on special occasions when he is judging someone for a reason; they happen to us all as we take our chances in a world that is fallen and separated from its creator.

Further, death is inevitable for us all, because we inherited it from our great, great, great… grandfather Adam. “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned” (Romans 5:12).

Finally, bad things do happen in this world, so bad that there is no way we could hold God responsible. Bad people are free to do bad things and hurt children and others. Many people have suffered unjustly, and there is no way to connect God to it. Satan is “the god of this world,” (2 Corinthians 4:4) who has blinded people and led them to do hurtful and stupid things to each other. There will be justice in the life to come, but at present there is no fairness and very little justice. Don’t blame God, blame Adam for separating us from God; and we can blame ourselves for using our free will in harmful ways.

I don’t have space to say more, but know that we have a promise from God: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

You can subscribe to the magazine for free HERE.

Comparing Those on the Left and on the Right

A friend of mine spent some time with a family that is very left leaning, meaning they are usually anti-God, socialists, support abortion, and mostly everything that is against the Word of God. These people, she said, live in fear and anxiety about what is happening in the culture. They feel our nation needs to go more to the left to be a better place.

I know many women who are on the far right, meaning they are usually Christians who love the Lord and His ways. They fight against abortion, for a small government, and mostly for the values found in the Bible. These women live in fear and anxiety about what is happening in our culture. They feel our nation needs to go more the the right to be a better place.

There's something terribly wrong with this picture. Anything that takes away your joy for long has become an idol. The direction of our culture has become an idol in their lives. They have all lost their joy. This is understandable to those who are on the left since they refuse to acknowledge the Lord and walk in His ways. This is not understandable to those who are on the right since they know how the story ends, who sits on the throne, who will be victorious, and have been commanded to not be anxious but to cast their cares upon the Lord.

If believers in the risen Savior look no different than those who have refused Him and made the state of our culture their idol and lost their joy, they need to stop listening to the news and spend a lot more time in the Word and in prayer. We are commanded to pray for our leaders and leave it all in the Lord's very capable hands. He tells us to not fear for He is with us and will never leave us. Do you believe this? If you do, stop worrying and being anxious. You are being a terrible witness for the joy of the Lord. Get rid of your idols and make God the Lord of your life.

Knowing the Lord, serving Him, and shining His light to a dark and decaying world is what we are called to do. This isn't our home. We are strangers and aliens passing through. Our mansions are on a brand new earth where there will be no more death, sickness, pain, or suffering. Live for this home instead and store your treasures in heaven. Yes, vote, pray, and do what you can to get those who live by godly principles or at least, closer to them elected (we will be writing a post about who we will be voting for), but then leave the outcome with the Lord since He is sovereign, you know. 

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Philippians 4:6

picture source

"No One That is Submissive is Happy"

Can you imagine this society without a rule of law? Few would stop at stoplights. They would go however fast they chose without worrying about a ticket. Hey, get drunk and drive home and if you kill someone on the way home, no big deal since there are no policemen and jails. It would be chaos! We have to live by the rules and if we don’t, we suffer consequences. 

People at work have to obey their bosses or else they will get fired. Children who obey their parents usually grow up to be children who obey all authority in their lives (teachers, coaches, and bosses) and make others’ lives pleasant. In every institution on earth, there is someone in the leadership position and all those under them are in submission to them.

I receive a lot of hateful comments as many of you saw when my post went viral. Our culture hates the truth of God’s Word and as everyone can see who watches the news, the rule of law in our land is meaning less and less and chaos is beginning to show its ugly face.

One woman made this comment on my Facebook Always Learning page, “I don't tend to go on feminist rants but holy hell this Always Learning page is a huge help to the patriarchy...might I even say rape culture in one of these posts. I'm so grateful that I was not taught this way and have learned recently about how this type of thinking only breeds hate and system of oppression of women everywhere. This is the type of stuff on Facebook that actually scares me bc people don't truly think about what they are posting before they do it. Just because this lady is clearly a Christian doesn't mean what she is saying is worth any substance. Husbands and wives both need to be happy and no one that is being submissive is happy...ever. I can't.”

Therefore, according to her logic, all children who are submissive and obey their parents are miserable. All employees who are submissive and obey their bosses are miserable. All citizens who are submissive to their governments and obey the law of the land are miserable. All wives who are submissive to their husbands and obey them are unhappy. In conclusion, you can only be happy if you live in rebellion to all those who are in authority over you.

She is terribly mistaken. Most marriages where the wives become submissive heals and strengthens the marriage which usually results in making both of them happier. All those who are in rebellion to authority are the ones who are miserable. God has set an authority structure so there will be peace. When people obey those who are in authority over them, more people will likely be happy since things run more smoothly and those under authority must use self-control to do what is right.

It takes a lot more discipline to be submissive to authority rather than just do what you feel like doing. Most can see the chaos beginning to reign in our culture as many are doing as they please: broken homes, prisons overflowing, riots in the streets, less safety for all, STDs, drugs addictions, and miserable, unhappy people

She has listened to the lies of the enemy of her soul. I pray her blinders come off and she can see the error of her ways and decide to repent and follow the King of kings. I was happy, however, that she can tell that I am "clearly a Christian." This was my favorite part of her comment! I have never been happier in my life since I learned submission to my husband. We have a wonderful life together now that I am not continually battling his decisions and there isn't an undercurrent of disharmony in our home.

Unfortunately, this woman has twisted godly submission into an ugly thing. I love what John Piper says about submission: “At the core of all godly women, cemented in the soul, there is a simple but steadfast hope in God. It is from the security of this hope that wives fear nothing that is frightening — even submission to husbands who do not follow Jesus. These godly women adorn their souls with a peculiar beauty: not base servility or brash power, but a combination of humility and lion-like courage that the world cannot explain.

The world cannot make women this way. Their beauty comes from somewhere — from someone — else. With their souls beautified by God, Christian women display Jesus in such a way that unbelievers may be won to Christ, even without a word being spoken. (1 Peter 3:1)”

Knowing Jesus, loving Him, and living for Him is the only way to find happiness and joy. Many have tried to get me to change my message, tone it out, or stop writing, but Truth is the only thing that convicts and changes people, plus I only stand accountable to the Savior of my soul.

Happy is that people, 
whose God is the LORD.

Psalm 144:15

"Everybody" is Talking About Brad and Angelina

If you haven't heard the news and aren't up on pop culture like most people are, Brad and Angelina are getting a divorce. (They are famous movie stars for those who have no idea. I actually can't remember ever seeing a movie either of them are in.) They lived together for ten years and then decided to get married in August of 2014. Now, only two years later, they are getting a divorce according to this article. You would have thought with ten years of experience living together, they would have known for sure that they were perfect for each other and this is why they married. 

Culture no longer understands the definition of marriage and puts little value on it. Marriage was created by God and it is the union between a male and a female for life, until death do they part. The marriage bed is to be kept undefiled so this means there is to be no sexual relationships before marriage or after marriage with anybody other than their spouse. (Yes, I know the majority of Hollywood could care less about God and His ways. However, He is still their Creator and they will suffer the consequences of disobeying His ways.)

The sad part is that many Christian couples look no different than Hollywood couples. They live (have sex) with each other and try it out before committing to marriage believing that this will better help them to decide if marriage is right for them. Many chose never to marry and most go separate ways after a while which is similar in feeling to a divorce. They are learning from Hollywood instead of from God's Word. 

Too few women have wisdom today. They misunderstand men. Godly men marry so they can have sex and have it freely. They wait to find a godly woman who wants a godly man to commit their lives to each other. Women who aren't godly give themselves away for free. They place no value on themselves or the men they live with. Sex is cheap for them and commitment is old-fashioned and not worth waiting for. They have missed out on the beauty of marriage the way God created it from the beginning of time.

Women, if you aren't teaching your children about the Lord and His ways consistently, your children will grow up to act more like unbelievers than believers. Our nation idolizes Hollywood. Hollywood is constantly having award nights to acknowledge and fawn over each other. (We never watch them since we have no idea what any of the movies are and few of the actors and actresses, plus the women flaunt their immodesty by the dresses they wear.) 

I just finished reading and studying 1 John. It's all about love and how Christians should be walking in love and known for their love towards others. If you don't love, you aren't His child. Interestingly, the last verse states, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols." Now, this seems like it was quickly thrown in there since the rest of the chapter is talking about love. However, idols keep us from loving and living as we should. God should be the only one we serve because He is the beginning and definition of love. God is love.

If you serve and idolize Hollywood, you won't love as you are commanded to love. Love does another no harm. Cheating on a spouse, having sex before marriage, being involved in porn, living together before marriage, and all the other sexual sins have nothing to do with love. They only have to do with self and idolizing something other than the Lord. If you truly love, you will do nothing to harm anyone else, including your future spouse if you aren't married, your spouse if you are, and your children from divorce. This means you won't commit fornication, adultery, or be involved in any type of sexual immorality with anyone else ever because of the harm it does to everyone involved. This is why God commands us to flee it.

Make the Lord the only "idol" in your life. Serve Him and obey Him. He tells us to believe on Him and love others. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves, including your future husband or your present one.

And this is His commandment. That we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as He gave us commandment.
1 John 3:23
photo source

Must You Honor Sinful Parents?

Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Never try to live on the old manna, nor seek to find help in Egypt.” As believers in Jesus Christ, we should not try to find marriage counselors from the secular world, help for training and disciplining children or any type of relational advice from them either, since they come from an entirely different perspective with different goals than a Christ follower.

Recently, Susan wrote to me about her father who is living a sinful lifestyle and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. However, she knows from Scripture that she must honor her mother and father. How does she reconcile the two? If she went to the secular world or probably even many lukewarm believers, they would probably tell her she didn’t need to have anything to do with him if he was doing something she didn’t like. The Bible is outdated and written by men any ways.

What does the Bible say? We are to honor our father and mother regardless of their behavior. Our parent’s disobedience doesn’t give us a right to be disobedient, just as a husband’s disobedience doesn’t give his wife the right to be disobedient. We will one day stand alone in the presence of the Lord and have to give an account for our actions, not our parent's or spouse's. We are told to reverence our husbands and respect all those in authority over us for the positions they hold and the responsibility that goes along with it.

How does Susan honor her father who is living a sinful lifestyle? She needs to gain an eternal perspective. Hell is an awful place to spend eternity and she must keep his eternal soul in mind in all her behavior towards him. Pray for him consistently. Write him notes with Scripture verses and encouraging words. When she sees him, she should always be kind and loving since the Lord may use her to win him to the Lord. Remember, even Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who were murdering him. Those trapped in sinful lifestyles are in bondage to sin and the enemy is winning their soul. It is all a spiritual battle being waged in the heavenlies. When you try to win your parent, spouse, children, and friends to the Lord, you use the same weaponry: the armor of the Lord to fight this battle. Once you put on the Lord’s armor, you have a great chance of winning them to the Lord because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

Whenever you have a relationship problem, go to the Word or to a godly person you know. Don’t seek help in Egypt. Years ago, Egypt said pornography was fine. Now, they are realizing the harm in it. We always knew sexual immorality is evil and something we must flee since the Word is clear about it. Read and study the Word to find principles to live by. You will never go wrong obeying the Lord in what He commands that you do. It is much better to reap rewards from the Lord, than the manna the world has to offer that quickly spoils.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

Reacting to Well Known Christians Involved in Sexual Sin

Joshua Duggar comes from a godly, wholesome family, yet he was caught being deeply involved in fornication. Then we find that the father of the Willis family (twelve beautiful and talented children that are homeschooled and perform around the world) has been arrested for molesting his own daughters. Someone wrote this comment on my blog recently:

"And the Willis family! The husband was just arrested for SEXUALLY molesting his own daughters. I'm glad I don't follow these 'people.' I do not like the Duggars and never watched the Willis family. People are so quick to watch a 'Christian' family, because they claim to be. I'm glad I have discernment!"

Yes, everyone has their opinions but what should our reactions be when we hear of a Christian being caught in a sinful lifestyle that blasphemes the name of the God they serve? We grieve for them, for their family, and for the black eye they give Christianity, then we pray for them and their families. We don’t mock them or join the culture in tearing them apart. We live in a highly sexualized culture, and Satan is on the prowl looking for whom he may devour.

Probably most of you have heard of well-known pastors getting caught for being involved in fornication. Yes, it’s painful and awful. We never would celebrate it and make it a cause for bragging like this woman who made a comment on the Willis family. It should grieve us like it grieves the Father; for He wants all to repent and walk in the Spirit.

We are commanded to "exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13). If you see a brother or sister heading in the wrong direction, say something! Exhort them to walk in obedience. Exhort means to “strongly encourage or urge (someone) to do something.” Encourage others to walk faithfully with the Lord, be in the Word, and be transformed by it and not by the world.

This is why I exhort women to be keepers at home, so they can be the ones raising and watching carefully over their children's behavior and thinking. They need to be taught to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and flee fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18). Continually warn them about the evil of our culture. Yes, we should be sheltering our children when they are young so when they are grown up, their roots will be deep and strong in the Lord. They will clearly know His ways and have hidden His word in their hearts, so they won’t sin against Him.

Joshua Duggar and Toby Willis gave into a small temptation; drawn away by their own lusts, enticed, and then acted upon their lusts and brought forth sin. "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it brings forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death" (James 1:14, 15). They didn't "fall into sin." They chose it, but it doesn’t mean all Christians will chose to sin in such a way. 

There are many who have lived godly, influential lives and continued to walk on the narrow road until the day they died. Do not lose heart! Stay in the Word and make sure your children know it. Live out love and kindness to your husband, children, and all those you know. Allow the Lord to use you as His instrument to a fallen world and stay strong in Him and His mighty power. 

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Ephesians 6:10, 11