Whew!!! When I wrote Pray For Michael Pearl, I received several long comments and emails telling me how wrong Pearl's disciplining methods are and I shouldn't be supporting them. I deleted the comments because I don't want any Pearl bashing going on on my blog. There are many other blogs that do that. I only want to support them.
Here are the comments in his book To Train Up A Child people seem to have the most trouble with ~
{It is funny. I was just reading the comments that people sent me and they didn't send me the comments in the context that the Pearl's wrote them...Figures. I will give them to you in the whole context. ALWAYS make sure you check the context before you believe everything people tell you.}
However, if you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child who runs from discipline, and he is too disturbed to listen {This is the part they somehow left out.}, then you must constrain him. If you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he has surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring, and are unmoved by his wailing. Hold the resisting child in a helpless position for several minutes, or until he is totally surrendered. Accept no conditions for surrender - no compromise. Your are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.
They are very clear that there should never be bruising of a child. A child that is out of control, rebellious, and refuses to obey needs some stern discipline or he will be in grave danger as he gets older.
We never had to get to this point. The first time our children had a temper tantrum or refused to obey us, around 18 months, Ken and I would take turns telling them to pick up the toys {or whatever they were refusing to do} and then give them a swat on their bottom if they wouldn't do it. With all four of our children, it took almost four long, difficult hours.
Finally, they submitted, picked up their toys, and we cuddled with them. We won the war. They never had a temper tantrum after that, were mean to their siblings, and obeyed us quickly. They knew we were boss, not them.
So I am very tired of people misinterpreting what the Pearls teach. Parents NEED to get control of rebellious children quickly. The earlier you stop rebellion, the easier they are to raise. This makes it a whole lot easier on teachers, coaches, bosses, etc.
No, it is not easy but it is so worth it to have obedient, happy, and disciplined children. My children were a joy to raise. May you experience the same with your children!
I will chasten him with the rod.
2 Samuel 7:14
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Proverbs 29:17
Proverbs 29:17
Jamie · 679 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 679 weeks ago
Michelle · 679 weeks ago
Paul · 679 weeks ago
Paul
Michelle · 679 weeks ago
It's so much easier to sit a child in "time-out" and go about your business.
It bothers me when people bad mouth the Pearls. Clearly they have a good relationship with their own children and I fail to see how they could have that relationship if they had been abusive parents. I've read most of their books and have never felt they were promoting abuse in any form.
Michelle · 679 weeks ago
AMY · 679 weeks ago
Michelle · 679 weeks ago
bella · 679 weeks ago
Kaye · 679 weeks ago
I know some people probably have a problem with that. Some people would parent my daughter differently. That's why I bring this up hesitantly. But my plan is to have her respect authority (whether that be me or teachers or whoever she will encounter). Some people's methods of throwing their hands up and giving up on how to discipline this child would not result in the child that I'm hoping to raise. I want to get a hold on the rebellion before she is an adolescent or teen and can make some seriously bad decisions.
Our son? Was not (and is not) parented this way because a firm word, time out, or removing privileges is enough to keep him in line. As bella (above) mentioned, each child is different and I cringe when parents of easier children (like my son) tell me how to parent my daughter. I'd love to see them do it for a week.
veronica · 675 weeks ago
Brit · 679 weeks ago
This makes me feel better about a time-out/spanking session that occurred with my daughter for a hour and a half. My husband was working, so it was only me. It wore me down! I called my husband asking what I should do and he told me to keep being consistent and don't give in.
I made her stay where she was at, and about every 2-3 minutes I asked her to do what I wanted her to do. She would say "no" with attiutude, and I would spank her and then ask again in a few minutes.
FINALLY she did it! I'm hoping this was a milestone, but I have a feeling we'll have a few more sessions like that in the future... hopefully when my husband is home to help.
AMY · 679 weeks ago
Brit · 679 weeks ago
My kiddos are only 2 months apart, so they obviously look like twins. I get so many comments! Our response when people ask is "no, we adopted one of them." They usually say, "oh, which one?" and we say "does it matter?" We don't think any differently between the two as they are both our children that just came to us different ways.
Caitlin · 679 weeks ago
Fran · 679 weeks ago
AMY · 679 weeks ago
Fran · 679 weeks ago
AMY · 679 weeks ago
Christi · 679 weeks ago
Kim · 679 weeks ago
But I liked growing up with boundaries. I liked knowing that my parents cared. I liked knowing that I could trust my parents- that they meant what they said. They wouldn't take any crap from me and I'm a better person because of it. I'm 25 now and I love that my parents took the time to discipline me when I was little.
Vicki Walton · 679 weeks ago
Louisa · 679 weeks ago