Sunday, September 9, 2012

Wives Leaving Husbands


My son, Ryan, just went out with a new friend recently. His friend is new to the area.  He has a great job. He married his high school sweetheart.  They moved out here and he bought a new home for them. She feels like she missed out on life so she left him to go live with her friends in another state. This young man told Ryan the same thing has happened to several of his friends.

I know of two men who experienced the same thing. They both come from great families.  They love God, work hard and are men of integrity. They married "Christian" women who they intended to grow old with.  Their wives got bored and left them.

This breaks my heart. These women have been lied to. They think they will find happiness somewhere out there, outside of God's will for their lives.God's will for them is to stay with their husbands and make them happy. You will never find long-lasting happiness outside of God's will.  It is fleeting and unfulfilling. 

I pray for these young men to find wives that will love them just the way that they are now.  Wives that will learn what pleases them and serve them. Wives that respect, submit to and obey them. Wives that will allow their husbands to be the leader of the home. I pray these young men will be blessed with children. They want a family. 

I wish I could talk to these young women. It is happening more and more even in Christian homes. Most of them wouldn't want to listen to what I have to say. They would say I am being too hard on them. I would just speak the words that God speaks to them. It would change them if they would listen.

Choose wisely, young men. Find a woman who enjoys the skills that go along with homemaking and child raising. Have them read this blog and ask them if they agree with it.  Discuss everything even the tough subjects like submission. Ask them what they think their role as wife should be. Tell them you will do everything in your power to love them as Christ loves the Church. Ask God to lead you to your wife and make it clear to you.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
 Many daughters have done virtuously,
but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:28-30
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Posted by Always Learning at 4:00 PM
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FABBY's avatar

FABBY · 654 weeks ago

How sad that s, my heart breaks for these wonderful young men...wish they met my wonderful daughter, who just broke up with almost fiancee, because he was dead set on having a childless marriage!! This is also happening in the young now. Young people have lost their values and don't know where to gom they're soo lost!! Have a blessed week.
FABBY
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ayearinskirts 66p · 654 weeks ago

I unfortunately have been witness to this horrible trend as well!!
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Emily · 654 weeks ago

I have struggled with this at times. I was married at 19, mom by 21, and my husband had left me (for this exact reason) by 22. I remarried at 24, and now have 2 amazing kids. I never went to college. There are times that I have thought this exact thing. I have to rebuke satan, and remind myself that this is exactly where God wants me!
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PJB · 654 weeks ago

In my expereince, when marriages break up it is an intense situation involving heartbreak and emotional turmoil on both sides. I find the idea that you think women frequently waltz away from marriages simply because they are 'bored' completely unlikely.

What I think is more likely is that those marriages became unhappy, and after they became unhappy they became deeply painful, and after they had been deeply painful for a while, both people found themselves deeply wounded by one another, and after that -- that's when someone decided that the situation was intollerable and the marriage needed to be over.

And after that, perhaps, when sitting with friends, a recently separated man wouldn't want to put his heartache on the table, so he glossed over the issue saying something lightly like, "She thought it wasn't working out." -- and your innocent son assumed that meant that the woman was at fault for leaving the marriage casually and without any extenuating circumstances.

God is a God of compassion -- to whom heartache, wounds and extenuating circumstances matter very much. Therefore I very much doubt your claim to know His revealed will for these wives-of-aquaintences-of-your-son.
1 reply · active 578 weeks ago
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David · 578 weeks ago

the Bible does not allow divorce in the case of being unhappy - sorry
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PJB · 654 weeks ago

In any case, I pray for these young men -- for the strength to remain single and celebate until the Spirit has healed their hearts and renewed their minds. I pray that in that renewal they will realize that marriage is better when spouses respect each other, please each other, and serve each other -- when neither would dream of requiring obedience, and where leadership is a matter of lowly sevice when it is needed (and not required when it is not desired).

Many men are well content with loving wives whose skills, desires and calling include components outside of the home. Houses are fairly low maintence unless one's expectations are terribly high, and children are not part of every marriage. It is entirely possible for a man to love his wife for who she is, without undue regard for her usefulness as a domestic.

I'm sure it is difficult to be a good husband, especially with a heiarchical view of marriage -- so I am genuinely sad that these men have lost the hearts of their wives. God hates divorce... with good reason. Ask anyone who has been divorced: EVERYONE hates divorce.
1 reply · active 578 weeks ago
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David · 578 weeks ago

the Bible is very, very clear that remarriage is also not allowed. I am going thru a divorce right now as my 'Christian' says she never has loved me an is unhappy so I have done much research and reading
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Kelly · 654 weeks ago

I was just listening to an end times author the other day on how this topic in and of itself is a sign of the end times... As someone who almost divorced early on due to extreme issues and watched God restore our marriage, I have compassion for couples going through hard times... Right now, however in my close circle there are 2 marriages that are in this exact situation. 1 with close friends from college, who have 5 kids, and she feels like she missed out on something, and a family whom I have their youngest of 3 in my childcare, and mom, "a Christian" told dad that there was no spark and wanted a divorce. They have filed and it will.. could be final soon. I have been on my knees for both couples, knowing full well what God is capable of!!! I, too, wonder what has happened to the minds of these women whom I used to connect with. Well, I know, satan has been lying to them, but it is devastating to watch. Ever seen what happens to kids of believers who watch their parents divorce??? 3 kids whom I absolutely adore fell apart in every direction after their parents divorced a couple of years ago and have both since remarried... Nothing like telling your children to obey when they are looking at their parents like the biggest hypocrites that ever walked... These kids are just now getting their feet back under them by the grace of God Himself and it has been awful to watch... The ramifications are so far outlying it isn't even funny... I totally connect with your heart on your blogs, so I know I am not the norm with most stuff.. But if I can stay married, to an unbeliever, and face multiple serious trials and still find happiness in my marriage, and contentment, I feel like anyone can.. Breaks my heart that marriage is under such attack every where you look right now... Even the definition of marriage is being challenged at an all time high... :(!
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Liz@Warrior Wives · 654 weeks ago

This was very timely...my mother in law (a biblical counselor at my church) was just telling me that right now, within our church, it is becoming more frequently the wives who are leaving the husbands whereas it used to be the opposite. I've got a close friend whose divorce will probably be finalized next month and it's so discouraging. As Kelly said above, I also wonder what has happened to this woman that I connected with so well. I do know the intimate details of why they are getting divorced, but her thinking is very skewed right now and I feel like I don't even know her anymore. I understand that there may be some legitimate reasons for divorce, but honestly, most divorces do not happen for these reasons.
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Debbie · 654 weeks ago

I feel that the one who leaves is not the only one to blame. The guy or gal have to put time into the marriage to. Work is so draining on many people and they don't have the energy to keep their marriages together.
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Colleen · 654 weeks ago

I just want to thank you PJB for your wonderful and compassionate comments. Divorce is hard on everyone involved, be it the one who leaves or the one left, and never as simple as it seems to those outside of the relationship. Thanks again for your comment. It was just what I needed to hear today. Isn't it wonderful to serve a God who sees us for all of our faults and differences and loves us still, even in the difficult moments of life?
1 reply · active 438 weeks ago
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David's avatar

David · 578 weeks ago

yes, God is compassionate but a divorce will drive a wedge between you a God - that is a reality
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Cindy · 651 weeks ago

I just stumbled upon this blog and so glad I did ! What a breath of fresh air to breath in truth and see there still are people out there whom take their "CHRISTIAN" values SERIOUS thank you for sharing truth boldly and not being afraid to do so !!! This above post is such a trend however unfortunately it is the way of the world and sadly enough it has crept into the church and many are being tempted away by the lies of the enemy!! I have mentored many of Ladies that are the ones having emotional affairs and think that because their NEEDS are not being meant and their not happy find it somewhere else but guess what that happiness soon fades away too and then what well folks I will tell you what happens a bunch of broken marriages, families and relationships the GRASS is NEVER GREENER on the other-side!! Thank you for sharing this and all the topics you share on!!! Please visit me at my blog @ http://atthefeetofmysavior.blogspot.com thank you God Bless

In His Grace,
Cindy B.

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