Always Learning: Stay Attractive For Him

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Stay Attractive For Him

Whatever you did to capture your man, do the same things until the day you die. Never take him for granted. Always look and act your best for him.

How many of you take this advice seriously? I have seen many women let themselves go after they got married. They don't understand or don't care how strong the power of the visual is in a man's sexuality. God made them this way. This is why Jesus referred to men when he said a man lusting after a woman is committing adultery in his heart with her.

Most husbands don't expect their wives to look like the models on television and magazine covers. They would like them to look the best they can, however. They like clean, nice hair, nice clothes, and a little make up. They like their women to stay in shape and look good. It is VERY important to them.

Soon after Alyssa, my daughter, and Jon were married, she went through her whole closet and got rid of any clothes that Jon didn't like. She wears her hair the way he likes it. He works out hard to stay in shape. They both try to eat healthy. They want to please each other in the way they look and act.

Ken just told me the other day that he prefers my hair down rather than up in a bun. I took my hair down as soon as I got home, curled it, and won't wear it up when I am around him anymore. I, too, want to please him. He likes to please me also.

We do have an obligation to look as good as we possibly can for our husbands. It is good for your marriage. It makes your man happy. It also makes you feel better about yourself. It helps you be more confident. Being healthy and fit gives you more energy.

So do what you can to keep your man attracted to you. It is important to him whether he tells you or not. Ask him what is important to him and what he likes. Before you got married, you tried looking the best that you could for him. You wanted him to like you. Keep that same mentality up. Stay attractive for him! He will appreciate it so much.

She makes coverings for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Proverbs 31:22

Comments (21)

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Victoria · 641 weeks ago

Love this post! I love how you make the point that it helps us to be more confident too. It is not going to benefit just them but us too. I told my husband I would love to see his face beard free again but I still like his beard. I didn't tell him to change it. However, when I came home later that day, he shaved it off. It made me feel so loved! I try to do the same thing for him too. It is hard sometimes, especially after a hard day of cleaning but worth the effort:)! xo

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kelley highway · 641 weeks ago

This is vital when a wife puts her husband first in her life. Keeping ourselves, maintaining our temples is pleasing to our head (the husband) and his head (the one, true and living God, Jesus). Good reminders today.

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karenshireman 6p · 641 weeks ago

I try to be respectful of my husband's likes. For instance, I know he prefers me not to have super short hair and he doesn't want me to let it go gray. This one I am struggling with. I am in my late 40's and he is in his mid 60's ~ he always says that there is no reason for both of us to look old, and our youngest is 4 years old. My hair is dark brown and is getting harder to keep up with covering the gray. I know the hair dye contains possible cancer-causing chemicals and really burns my scalp each time I use it. I've heard there are healthier options available, but after 20 years I am ready to go gray.

1 reply · active 621 weeks ago

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Jenifer · 621 weeks ago

I do not like chemical hair dyes and just discovered "hendigo" (natural plant dyes henna & indigo used together to cover my gray). LOVE IT, all natural, ordered it on internet thru hennaforhair.com Good luck!

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Joluise · 641 weeks ago

My husband isn't a fan of long hair (he thinks it takes too long to do in the morning) and not a fan of long skirts - I think as a Christian I should have feminine hair (mine is shoulder length) and wear skirts so I do this regardless of my husbands views. He has learnt to live with these choices. He also isn't keen on makeup, I still wear it, but not very much. I think we need to keep our husbands happy but we may not be able to do everything they want and that should be ok as a marriage works both ways - a give and take.

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Kath · 641 weeks ago

I agree with you, Lori. I think it is important for a wife to look her best (whatever her particular "best" is) for her husband. It is just another way to serve him and to love him. Of course, there are certain seasons when our bodies, hair, skin, all seem to do the opposite of what we want! My husband works all day with high powered female executives. He doesn't have a roving eye, but I help him keep his interest on my appearance. I like looking feminine and pretty for him. He really appreciates that I take good care of my outer shell as much as I take care of my inner man. I like what Anne Ortland says from her classic book, "Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman" that,"God's children, when compared with the children of darkness, should declare without a word that God is good." She also uses Daniel and the Proverbs 31 woman as an illustration of how to take care of our bodies/looks using God's standards. Let's raise the bar, Christian woman, on looking good for our husbands and our God!

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Tiffany · 641 weeks ago

Well, I agree with you Lori! My husband doesn't mind if I'm not 100% dolled up every single day of the week, but he does appreciate it when I put forth that effort. Even on the days where I don't get completely ready, I still shower, get dressed, and make myself presentable. It would be embarrassing to have him come home and for me to be in sweats, unshowered. He is a very hygienic person - always taking showers and shaves, and making sure he smells nice for me. And he works out every day. I appreciate that he does that because he knows how much I like it!

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tbg · 641 weeks ago

Interesting, and I do agree wity you. My challenge is my life was very very significantly less hecktic when I was dating my husgand.

I lived a very simple organized life and had plenty of time for exercise, sleep, nails, laundry and house cleaning etc.

It takes a lot more time to clean up behind two people, make larger more interesting meals (I always ate quick and simple when single), men seem to generate much more laundry than I ever did and my husband has all these surveys, coupons that add hours to a simple shopping trip.

We don't have kids to help delegate chores to.

I just don't know how to fit everything in.

2 replies · active 641 weeks ago

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Pam · 641 weeks ago

Trust me, you are not a "bad" person or wife for not being able to fit everything in! It's okay that you can't fit everything in. It's a lot of work to take care of your house! You don't have to have your hair perfectly done and your nails perfectly done for your husband to love you and find you attractive. I think with your appearance try to focus on what makes YOU feel good -- chances are, your husband will find that attractive.
If you're struggling to accomplish everything in a day (and trust me, I know it can be a struggle), why not lovingly ask your husband for some help? If he likes using coupons on shopping trips, why not ask him to help you with them? You'd be spending some time together and it would cut down on the time it takes to accomplish the task. It is okay to ask your husband for some help. Just because you're married and you're a woman doesn't mean you need to do all of the housework.

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tbg · 641 weeks ago

thank you for that encouragement

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Kim · 641 weeks ago

I think it's important to note that looking "your best" my have different definitions. When I think of looking my best, I think of being all dolled up to go to a party or something. But a lot of guys I know like it when girls wear sweatpants or jeans, when they wear less make-up, and when they're a little more laid back with their appearance.

In the same way, I like it when a guy wears a tie & dress shirt every once in awhile, but I actually think it's way hotter when he's in jeans and a t-shirt. Looking nice doesn't need to take a ton of effort. But you do have to care a little bit! For those who are saying they don't have time, etc, I think a little bit of effort goes a long way!

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Chari · 640 weeks ago

I have to agree with this. I think it is a great idea. I know it is possible too. Though I don't do it as much as I would like I know I should.

My aunt who has 12 children no lie and homeschools all of them does it. Everyday and hour before he gets home she puts on her make up and does her hair. I mean if she can do it with that many children anyone can.

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Connie · 640 weeks ago

I just found you thru the Barn yard hop and I love it I did want ot comment on this because just the other day I was thinking the same thing. I have let my self go a little ( well maybe a lot ) blaming it on having to many other things to do. so I have started a 30 day challenge for my self I think if I start a little at a time I can get back to where I need to be. My husband loves me but I know he really appreciates when I look nice and I know I feel better about myself when I do. Like you said we put in the effort before we were married. I cant afford to get my nails and hair done evrey week or so but I can keep them filed and polished a lot of little things can add up.
Connie

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Kellie · 639 weeks ago

Lori, would you mind giving me the specific scriptures that support "principles of the Scriptures that we are to please our husbands in everything". Praying about some things and need the specific scriptures to which you are referring.

2 replies · active 638 weeks ago

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Lori Alexander 122p · 639 weeks ago

She that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husbands.
I Corinthians 7:34

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:24

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Kellie · 638 weeks ago

Thank you!

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Servant of Jesus · 637 weeks ago

I Really like this post because as a mom i need the reminder to Keep my husband first and purposely do things because of him and to show Him My Love. He Loves me just the Way I am even though since we are married n with having babies I gained some weight, but in-spite of it He Loves Me the way I am. But there are times he will encourage me in trying to lose it again...and it's not because he Struggles it is more because he know I would feel Better about myself. :) I have a Very Good Husband and feel very BLESSED because I Know that there are Woman that are not so Blessed. I really liked and appreciated so many of the comments and we can all Learn from each other. We are all different and Our Husbands all have different likes and dislikes... and we all know what works for us.... Let us as Women Focus on the Things that are important To Love Our Husbands, Love our Children, and Most of All Love God that the radiance Of Jesus Would flow out of Our Lives, that is More Beautiful than anything. I Accidently came upon this blog and I have been so Blessed and Encouraged With what I have Read...with the Post and the comments. Blessing of Jesus be upon you all!!!

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Imelda · 538 weeks ago

Love this post! Thank you! It's so encouraging!

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Joan · 524 weeks ago

I can certainly see both sides to this relevant discussion. For me, I think it boils down to attitude. I want to please my husband, of course...and, he says I do. :) Part of that pleasing him is my attitude toward him. It is one of respect and love (though of course...I'm human! LOL Sometimes I'm, well...moody!) I do make myself "presentable" every day and enjoy doing it. I feel better about myself and I think that shows in how I hold myself. I think he appreciates that I bathe and brush my hair and wipe my nose when it runs, but he also thinks I'm beautiful when I'm in my pj's without makeup, relaxing with him on the couch. Our character is most important and our inner beauty will shine through whatever our exteriors look like. But our character is also shown by taking the basic steps necessary to be clean and neat rather than totally unkept (though when it happens, it is not the end of the world!) As far as our external beauty, it's not about our jewelry or fancy hair-do's...it's more about the fact that we make some sort of effort in everything we do - whether it be fixing dinner, working at our job, doing laundry or getting dressed. Everyone is different. We are all of different weights, colors and sizes. But each of us can bathe and put our "best face forward" with a pleasant attitude...it doesn't mean we have to look like a model 24/7. Just a clean one! LOL

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Lovie · 480 weeks ago

I love this article. I'm seeing a man who could be "The One". He's always going on about how beautiful he thinks I am, even when I'm sweating at the gym with my do-rag on. LOL! However, I would never want to take his admiration for granted. If I do end up married to him, I would want to look my best for him as often as possible. I don't have a problem looking nice for work everyday, and he would be infinitely more important than my co-workers.

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DeLyssa · 470 weeks ago

I am a Mom of 6 kids -- 12, 9, 6,5,2, and 1. I have to say -- if you want to look good you will find a way.

My Man works 2 day shifts he is up at 4. I get up with with and cook him breakfast and help get him going. His schedule than switches to 2 night shifts. I make sure supper is on the table by 4 o'clock and we all sit down with him and eat together before he leaves.

Before he gets home sometimes -- NOT all the time - I will shower and put on his favorite shirt, skirt, and fix my hair.

And YES -- with 6 kids -- in an 8 day week -- we will have sex at least 5 to 10 times -- maybe more. There is morning -- afternoon -- and evening time of course.

I buy lots of sexy things he likes to see me in, etc. and YES -- buy his favorite perfume he likes me to wear and wear it on special occasions. Which is vanilla. Most men like the smell of vanilla. I buy different soaps in vanilla, body washes, lotions.

Yes -- it is extra work but........it is well worth it.

And YES -- I home school, cook just about every meal from scratch, the list is endless.

For me -- it is far better that my man is thinking about me in a sexy way than thinking about some other woman. Where there is a Will there is a WAY.

You can make it happen and your husband will love you for it!! ;-)

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