Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Are The Duggars Legalistic?


The Duggars wear dresses below their knees. They don't watch television. They wait to kiss until their wedding day. They believe in allowing God to decide how many children they should have. The females all wear their hair long. They don't go to public beaches or pools and wear extremely modest bathing suits. The Pearls hold to many of these convictions, also. 

We spent a week with the Pearls years ago and Michael told us he never goes to beaches or the malls. He takes the command to flee sexual immorality very literally. Is he legalistic for doing this? Are both the Duggars and Pearls legalistic because they have such stricter boundaries than most of us do?

Some people believe it is wrong to drink alcohol. Some women believe in covering their heads. Are all these convictions legalistic?  They only become legalistic if you call others a sin who do these things or don't do the things the Duggars and Pearls do.

Being legalistic is making up your own rules and believing those who don't follow your rules are in sin. The Duggars and Pearls simply have made boundaries in their lives in order to obey God. "For the grace of God...has trained us to reject and renounce all ungodliness and worldly desires, to live discreet, upright, devout lives in this present world."{Titus 2:11,12} They are doing everything they can in order to be pleasing to the Lord.

One thing I have noticed about the Duggars and the Pearls is the consistent smile on their faces and the joy in their lives. Placing boundaries in our life that protect us from evil are always a good thing. These boundaries actually bring joy into our lives instead of sorrow IF they are not legalistic and you are doing this in order to please the Lord, not sit in judgment of others who do not do them and aren't convicted in the same way you are.

Both of these families are busy ministering to people in their community and in missions programs. They are a light in a dark, dark world. Their mission statement in life is to love God and to love others. After they have been on programs like Good Morning America, I have heard statements from the ones interviewing them, "They have better control over their nineteen children than most couples have over their two!"

Ken and I don't have many of the convictions the Duggars and Pearls have made. I admire both of them deeply for their convictions and love for Jesus, however. Just because we don't hold to all their convictions doesn't mean we think we are better than them in any way or that they are better than us. I believe we all need to respect other's convictions and support them. We are called to love each other and not have divisions among us. This is pleasing in the sight of God.

Comments (13)

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Good observations about legalism Lori. I think all of us Christians can struggle with this. I think noting whether we are joyful, patient, & truly loving, or negative, critical, & judgmental is a huge clue if our hearts are "right before the Lord". Bitterness always comes to the surface because the Lord reveals things like that. I'm praying right now for a couple people in my church, (who are bitter) because I've struggled with the very same things in the past (thankfully the Lord corrected me & changed my heart). I think I am in a better position to recognize & pray for others, after having experienced the same temptations. The best thing is to be around truly loving, joyful people & take the Word literally; "pray for enemies, overcome evil with good, let God be the judge". I think the Duggars are incredibly inspiring toward good! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
Lori,
I love your comment about boundaries protecting us from evil. My husband has chosen for us to 'unplug' . We do not have cable and do not even watch regular tv. In fact, We rent classic movies or movies based on historical events. I hate to admit this, but I used to watch The Real Housewives of 'whatever city they were in'. It is all garbage!! My mind is so clear, calm and peaceful now that I am not filling it up with trash. I have taken up drawing again and I now have time to read and join my husband in athletic activities. I think instead of being critical of these families motives, we should appreciate that they are raising Christian children in a society that is more and more against them.
I agree. We don't all have to have the same personal convictions. The Duggars aren't doing anything wrong, as you can tell by how their children have turned out. We personally aren't that strict. Then again, many would consider my religion strict - no premarital sex or anything even close, no alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or coffee, no pornography or immoral shows/books/media, etc. I don't feel restricted by any of these things, in fact, I feel more free because of them! I'm sure that is how the Duggar children feel as well.
Such interesting comments! I don't like the "Reality TV", though they may use it to show how Christians can live a very happy harmonious life. We all adhere to different sets of rules in our homes, but we need to base these rules by Scripture. We've always stressed modesty - in our apparel, but also in what we do. Thank you Lori, for these posts!
My daughters & I enjoy watching the Duggars. My teenage sons find it boring and are sure no one lives that way in real life. Regardless, rules become legalistic when they are part of "earning" one's salvation. A few years ago I considered dresses only for my daughters & myself. I know how sinful I am and would probably be prideful and slide towards salvation by merit rather than grace. So we wear pants, my daughters are in ballet and I occasionally have a glass of wine. Our family "rules" will seem sinful to some and way too legalistic to others.

We live to please Christ out of our love for him, not to earn a place in heaven. I think that the Duggar girls look beautiful and modest and they don't seem prideful at all. Debi Pearl must feel loved and cherished by how diligently her husband guards his eyes & heart. All of these things are pleasing to The Lord.

Our church states that all dancing or alcohol consumption is a sin, nothing in scripture has convinced me of this. My daughters ballet recital was beautiful, I have hereditary high levels of Lpa, one of the only things that lowers it is very modest consumption of alcohol. I truly believe The Lord sees beauty in ballet and that he would want me to avoid an early death from a heart attack or stroke as my younger children need their mother. Thankfully we have freedom in Christ as He cares about the condition of our heart more than our adherence to rules.
Great article! Found you on Wise Woman Link up.
This is wonderful and so true! Having strong personal boundaries or convictions is never a problem until you start preaching these issues of "little 'o'" orthodoxy as gospel and implying (or even outright saying) that others who live by different standards under the Gospel of Grace and Law of Liberty are in condemnation for their choices. I'm not convicted to be quiver-full (even if I had a husband, which I don't - so I'm not convicted to be a mother, period, at the moment), but I respect that the Duggars have felt so led for their family and they are clearly doing a WONDERFUL job with the many children God has blessed them with!
Very true about living to please the Lord and not pass judgment on those that don't believe the exact same. That is the mindset we should all strive for!
I love this perspective. We, too, follow guidelines that are personal, family convictions, but do not expect anyone else to follow them unless also convicted thus. We've been accused of legalism, too. :-(
"Placing boundaries in our life that protect us from evil are always a good thing. " AMEN!!!
I absolutely agree that women need to be mindful of the way they dress. I also fully believe that men have a responsibility to watch where their thoughts stray. Some Christians I work with were talking about pornography a few weeks ago. The common belief amongst them was "which man hasn't looked at(or regularly does look) porn?!" They said this as though they had resigned themselves to the fact that this is normal and men were not accountable for their actions. So sad.
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
OOPS...wrong post! Sorry!!
I realize that this is an older post, but I only recently read it AND. IT. IS. SPOT. ON. AMAZING. BY GOD’S GRACE. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE EXPLAINED THIS TO ME, IN A WAY I WOULD HAVE RECEIVED IT, WHEN I WAS 13. THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR THIS SIMPLE, STRAIGHTFORWARD EXPLANATION OF LEGALISM!

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