Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Are There Gender Differences?


Ken and I have four children. Two of them are female and two are male. The males are much taller and stronger than the females. The males are much stronger emotionally than the females. They are very different as you can see from the photo.

When I wrote my post We NEED Men In An Emergency, I received many disagreements. My only purpose was to praise the men in my life who helped me in a difficult situation. Some women thought women should learn to do everything men do in case we ever end up alone. Some tried to convince me that women are not the "weaker vessel." Others thought I probably had an anxiety disorder because of my typical female initial panic reaction to a massive wall of smoke and fire bearing down on my home!

Men have ten times the testosterone that women have. They are much stronger. Most women can't even do one pull-up. I never have been able to. Women can't play football against men! {Well, they could but they would be badly injured quickly.} The majority of firefighters, policemen, and military are men. Even the majority of car mechanics, plumbers, builders, and electricians are men. 

Women have bodies designed with unique abilities to create and nurture new life. Our bodies were created by God to be different for many reasons and we should celebrate those differences as male and female to fulfill God given roles.

I have zero problem with this. I like the fact that men are bigger and stronger. I don't want to have the burden of learning how to fix everything and lift things way beyond my ability. Even if I ever have to live alone, I am sure the men in my life will come help me when I need help. I do not have to learn all male roles "just in case," because if even if my husband dies, men will still be all around me willing to help.

Several of my neighbors have called Ken when their husbands were away and they needed help. He's helped them with their computers, televisions, water heater problems, garage doors and when they thought someone was in their home, etc. He's happy to help.

So no matter what the feminists movement {and that is who it is!} says, men and women were created differently by God. Women are the nesters and nurturers and men are the providers and protectors. Nothing anybody can say will ever convince me otherwise. It's just as plain as night and day that men and women were designed to complement each other, not compete for importance or worse yet, equality of like kind. 

No person will ever be completely equal to any other unless they are twins. Even then differences in intelligence, knowledge and talents will exist. Our society must stop trying to make a gender neutral world, but instead recognize the strengths of each gender and celebrate and honor these differences. Vive la différence!

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
I Peter 3:7


Comments (61)

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Not really related to the post, but your kids are beautiful and you must be so proud. It is remarkable how it seems like Ryan and Alyssa favor each other and Ken, and Steven and Cassi favor each other and you. I feel like Cassi and Steven could be twins in that picture. Beautiful family!
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 565 weeks ago

Great post, Lori! I agree 100 percent.
3 replies · active 565 weeks ago
Absolutely!
I admire your courage in posting this in today's world. Gender roles are being so distorted and families are hurting because of it. I am SO happy I get to be a woman and I really truly enjoy my God-given roles as such.
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
I would agree for the most part with this post--there are inherent differences between the genders and we should embrace that. However, I don't think women should use that as an excuse not to learn to do things that are more traditionally the domain of men. I don't mean major career skills like firefighting or military strategy--I mean things like how to unclog a drain or how to put a piece of furniture together. Just because the men in our lives can do those things doesn't mean we shouldn't learn from them! I love the title of you blog and I think it applies not only to the Word but to all things! I think everyone should always be learning more things in their lives--more knowledge is never a bad thing! Men should know how to sew a button on a shirt in a pinch and make scrambled eggs. It doesn't hurt women to know how to change a tire and use tools.
4 replies · active 565 weeks ago
Sadie Grace's avatar

Sadie Grace · 565 weeks ago

I couldn't agree with you more. It breaks my heart to see the way much of the church has embraced these ideas indoctrinated by the feminists movement. I've always believed there were differences between genders, and it was so deeply confirmed in me after I had kids. But I think I was blinded to the way these false teachings have infiltrated the church. It seems as if my eyes are opened more each day to these lies. Thanks for standing on the truth - there aren't many left who will
2 replies · active 565 weeks ago
First, let me say that your kids are all gorgeous! (Especially the tall, dark one on the right - what a lovely man!) :) And, secondly, let me say that I completely agree with you! As a recovering feminist, I am so glad to see blogs like this one being put out there for young people to see. I think there are so many women who are desperately unhappy in their lives because they are struggling to find an identity or a purpose instead of just gratefully accepting the one that God placed right into their hands from birth. It's so sad to me how much time young people waste, "trying to find themselves!"
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Lori, you keep it up! Awesome post... Don't ever back down...Thank you so much for following the Lord in your spiritual gift of exhortation. We need to hear this as women so we don't have to be ashamed of how we feel even though the media and society tries to make us change.

Blessings
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
I am married to a United States Marine and today is our wedding anniversary. I am very thankful for his strong leadership and protective nature. Over the course of his career in the Corps, he has had to deploy many times out of the country for several months as one of our nations first responders. While it is true Marine wives must be tough to handle many different situations sometimes alone, back during the Iraq war I still needed help occasionally and God provided the right gender for the exact situation. Each time he deployed something went gone wrong with either the car or the house and the Lord sent a man (usually from our church) to help me. I too am very thankful for men and I needed each one of them and their help. We have four children and our youngest was born while my husband was deployed to Iraq. I had become ill and this time the Lord sent a few women to help me with the baby and my other children as I recovered. God has specifically designed men and women to be different to bring Him glory and to accomplish His purposes. I love being the helpmeet to my husband and I am very thankful for his leadership and care for our family. I am also very thankful for the men the Lord has sent to help me when I needed the muscle and decisiveness in a situation and for the women the Lord sent me when I needed the soft, nurturing touch and home management. Thank you Lori for lovingly and consistently stating Biblical truth. Blessings to you and your family.
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
My younger self (pre 3 boys) would have stood on my box and said "anything boys can do..." ;) As I have grown older and seen my boys grow I would agree, that there are differences between male and female. Women are able to do many of the once perceived "man's jobs" - but in all honesty, men on the whole are more suited to certain things. I don't think accepting our differences means we are any less valuable (male or female).
Blessings
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
I completely agree! Beautiful words! Thank you!!! :)
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Love this post, Lori!

I agree with you. My husband works for a huge corporation and makes his own hours. I had an appointment in the city and he left a little early to take me. One of his co-workers asked if he was doing anything fun and he told him that he wanted to get home so that I didn't have the stress of driving through crazy traffic. (I'm not very comfortable driving in heavy traffic) His co-worker remarked that it was cool that my husband was so "old school" and wondered how my husband got his values (my sweet hubby is 30).... I'm so grateful for a husband that takes care of me. Likewise, my husband always tells me how i make such a comforting home and that he could never keep the home like I do. I can drive through traffic and he can cook the basics but we each have our own strengths, it's wonderful to work in harmony.
7 replies · active 565 weeks ago
I tried to leave a comment earlier, but I messed up.

This is so true! My husband and I have completely different styles of parenting. Of course, we have two boys. I've had to learn to let him take the reins because it is his job to teach them to be men and my job to keep our home. If anything, this has been my biggest struggle in marriage because I wanted to have authority. My husband has been so kind and gentle in teaching me that I should not be an authority to our sons but simply guide them. When we ladies try to be that authority figure to our boys, we teach them to accept women in positions of authority and feminism as a legitimate lifestyle choice, when neither is acceptable.

It's been a day-to-day struggle, but I'm so proud of the men my boys are becoming and my husband for being the amazing, incredible, God-honoring man that he is!
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
I just want to add that I agree.
We all have "survival mode". We can all do things the other gender can do. With faith we dont have to learn everything. My husband doesnt cook at all. He will admit that if something happened to me he would probably be hungry for a few days after Im gone. His survival mode will have him in the kitchen making food. After he has used all his clean clothes he will have to do laundry. He doesnt take the time to learn to do this now. I dont have to learn how to fix the car or carry heavy things. When he isnt home And I go to the grocery store during the day I have to carry all of the parishable items and carry a 1yr old who cant walk up stairs and manage 2 young ones. This usually always includes a gallon of milk, eggs and bread. (We live in a "CA style" apt complex 5 min walk to door). I leave everything else in the car and when my husband comes home he carries the rest. If he could he would come home for the 5mins so I just have to carry keys and baby! Many times this trip from car to door a male neighbor just happens to be coming and grabs the rest for me. I have been grateful for the help becuase I am usually sweating n exhausted. Of course once I get home I have to put everything away still ;-) My husband doesnt have to put away and understands that he actually has the easiest part. I shopped, I saved money, he paid, he carried, I put away, and cook with it! Balance
If something breaks like the vacuum he fixes it, because my half of the job was to vacuum. I drive the car with the kids take them everywhere, and do things for the house & he fixes the car. We just end up doing things that are easier for each other.

A women working in certain fields say they had to work "extra hard" to get where they are. Many women start to have kids and get married and become "surprised" how well they do. Hmmm its no mystery. Like watching a man SASHEY(switch hips) when they walk. They have to work so hard at something a woman does naturally. I have several other different examples but we ALL know them.
2 replies · active 565 weeks ago
Sure, there are differences....but there are also differences between individuals.

My religious view is that in each couple, you have 2 halves of a whole, which together is created in the image of God. How each couple work together as soul mates is very individual. I'm an introvert while my husband is an extrovert. In other couples, it's the opposite.

What's really important is for everyone to see how their OWN husband or wife completes them, and was intended for them in order to be in the image of God.

You've written before about how important it is that we not place expectations on our husbands. Part of that is not expecting that our husband will always have certain physical traits and skills. The very ideas that you mention caused us problems when we were first married. We both had fathers who were handy, so there was an expectation that my husband would handle those sorts of things. Well, he is a very intelligent and very hard-working man, who happens to have severe problems with visual-spatial skills. After a lot of frustration and holes in the drywall and items that couldn't be assembled properly, we finally faced facts and realized that we could admit this, and it had nothing to do with his manhood. Later, he had some other medical issues including losing sight in one eye. He's still my soul mate, still a hard-working and amazing man, still the greatest father, still saving lives and being a vessel for God's blessings.

Young men, on average, are stronger, but the difference is reduced as we age. Men are more likely to get serious injuries, suffer heart disease earlier and have slightly shorter lifespans.
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Amen! Don't lose heart, many who don;t comment still hear.
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Lori, This was excellent! We are made differently! Male and female; I am so happy and blessed to have men in my life to guide and protect me! And I am glad to have other women to help me in my role as a Godly woman.
Roxy
So many accolades so I will state this point. All this physical and emotional strength belonging to men to not universal. I've known some women who could do a few pull-ups, and I am the emotionally stronger one in my marriage. The point behind the feminist movement is if one women can be a fireman, why can't she? After all, men who do know how to sew do work in the fashion industry.

Many "nurturing" professions (teaching, nursing to name two) used to be predominately male, with religion and science backing the notion that women were incapable being professional. Of course, we don't support this thinking...yet.
I couldn't agree with you more. My husband and I had 4 daughters and now I have 12 grandsons and 1 granddaughter. The differences between my parenting and my daughters' parenting is night and day. These little guys are happy to be muddy and love to wrestle. The girls - never! The boys are always riding their bikes off of ramps and trying to pull wheelies. Society seems to feminize men. I don't look under the hood of my car, and have no intention of changing that!
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
When I was first married, I told my husband, "men and women are more alike than they are different." He didn't agree, and, 18 yrs later, neither do I:)
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
Here's a Duggar quote for you (since you post about them so much ;) Your post title made me think of it. It's from Season 1, episode "Trading Places, Duggar Style": (somewhat paraphrased lol)
Producer: do you think you're enforcing/teaching gender sterotypes to your children?
Michelle: I think there are some gender differences YOU JUST CAN'T GET AROUND! :) <3
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
It's in God's word, and it is correct! Anna Sofia & Elizabeth Botkin have a wonderful dvd called, "What is Biblical Femininity? I wish I could remember where I read an online article about how the feminist movement ruined the economy. When large numbers of women entered the workforce, the economy changed dramatically. Because of that we now hear, " It takes two to make a living." I believe women need to be at home taking care of their own children, husband, and household. IF a man is a godly man, husband, and father, he will supply his family's needs with God's help. Notice I said NEEDS! People don't have to own the best (according to the world), two or three SUVs, take expensive vacations, and care to "keep up" with what the world's idea of the American Dream is. Trusting in God, a family can make the necessary sacrifices for the woman to stay home and "keep" her family and home. Home education is the best also for Godly families. Public school is a pagan environment! However, The world is so corrupt that most wont agree and do not care to live as the Bible instructs. To them we are ignorant, pitiful fools.
Keep up the great posts! God bless!
1 reply · active 565 weeks ago
I am a female roofer. I played football in high school with the other boys. I had to fight for it, but I was just as good as they were, and I finally was allowed to play. I grew up with three brothers and four sisters. My sisters thought I was too tomboyish, but I didn't care. My mother tried to make me girly. It wasn't natural for ME. I wanted to be a rough and tumble girl, and thats what I have always been. Its in my nature to be tough, I have worked at the same job for ten years, and I am one of the few who has stuck around in this company long enough. In fact, my boss is more likely to send me out on a job as a supervisor than any of the other men when we have two or three jobs at once.

I make good money. My husband stays home with the kids so we don't need daycare. He has a stay at home office job. He wouldn't last one day doing my job and I wouldn't last one day doing his.

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