Friday, May 23, 2014

Should We Have Clean Homes?


A very interesting discussion took place on my post Extremely Messy Homemakers. I gave a way out for those who don't keep clean homes by saying it is more important to raise godly children. Some women changed my mind, however.

Your first priority should be to nurture your children in the wisdom and the knowledge of God but I also think this is very important, "She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

If we believe in Jesus and want to walk in obedience to Him, we must spend our time wisely and He commands that women be keepers at home and guide the home. This must include keeping a well-ordered home. I have often heard a cluttered home produces a cluttered mind. We must train our children to begin working hard and cleaning as soon as they are able.

God wants us to work hard. He is a God of order. We must discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness. God wants us to be disciplined. He gave us His Holy Spirit who lives inside of us and one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Yes, we would much rather spend our free time on the computer, reading, etc. but our housework must be a priority over those things. Children should be brought up in an environment of order, not chaos.

I use to love watching Martha Stewart cook. She was always cleaning as she went whenever she cooked. It is much easier to clean things right away than let them pile up in the sink. Stuff comes off easily when pots are warm or plates have just been used. Decide one day a week to vacuum your home. Do one load of laundry a day. Find out what works best for you.

After saying all this, however, we must never let our homes become an idol; putting them ahead of our husband, children, or friends. Let your family enjoy and live in your home. Yes, they are going to make messes. Don't fret! Teach your children to clean up after themselves and if your husband doesn't clean up after himself, become a living sacrifice to him and clean up for him. Strive to make your home a place of beauty and rest for your precious family.

I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.  
Proverbs 24:30-34

Comments (39)

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Good Morning! I am very glad to read this post this morning, as I have seen such a change in how the homes of homemakers are looking at the cleanliness level! I have been to some homes that the bathroom and kitchen are just plain filthy!
We seek Him and He will give us strength and training in these areas. I have even offered to help them clean. I do not want to have my home filled with clutter and dirt and things that do not show the picture of what a home filled with peace and order should look like!
Not perfect, just pretty and clean and cozy!
A lovely word for us today Lori and this is the weekend we start with so many projects to show the Lord, we can be trusted to be good stewards of what He has given us!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Thank you so much for this, Lori. I am a homeschooling mom with two small children and I work very hard to keep my house clean. We have a large home, so sometimes little "hidden" things get neglected, but my house is almost always tidy, orderly, neat, vacuumed, and dusted. We never have dishes lingering in the sink or toys strewn all over the place from hours ago. My husband appreciates our clean home, although I don't think he would necessarily mind if it were a little less clean. I have a hard time being amid chaos, clutter, dirt and grime--it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. I attribute this habit to my mother, who kept an impeccably clean house and is very organized. I was a messy teenager (disgustingly messy, in fact) but when I became an adult, I very naturally adopted her habits of cleanliness and tidiness because of the example she set for me.
However, I do tend to make my house an idol. I often feel as though my need for neatness keeps me from letting my kids let loose and have the freedom to make a mess. I cringe at the thought of letting them help in the kitchen and spill flour dust and sugar everywhere. Your post really convicted me that I have to set a balance and not become so legalistic in my housework that I keep the fun out of my children's lives. Therefore, thank you, thank you, thank you! My children will thank you, too. :)
As is everything in life there must be a balance. I have friends who are complete neat freaks going so far as to never entertain for fear of someone messing up their carpet... to my neighbors whose home is literally covered in mounds of trash inside and out. Their home would make "How Clean Is Your House" TV show sick! For the sake of the children learn how to balance! Let the children spill without giving them a nervous tick for life but also keep the home clean and sanitary for the better health of the family. Great post Lori!
As I drink my morning coffee out of my husband's coffee cup because I haven't washed my own, I realize I needed to read this today. :)
RetiredNavyWife's avatar

RetiredNavyWife · 566 weeks ago

I'd rather have a messy house filled with the sounds of children laughing and playing than a neat house where the children are afraid to do anything. I grew up in a "neat-freak" house. It was never a home. My kids grew up in a home where messes were ok, the dust bunnies occasionally came out to play and toys from one end of the family room to the other was just fine. My children remember mom playing with them more than they remember the times the house was clean. I remember my house growing up was always immaculate but I don't remember my mother ever playing with me.
17 replies · active 565 weeks ago
I grew up in two housholds: one that was filthy (my moms) and one that was normal (my dad's). It is so important to have a normal home! There is NO EXCUSE for a filthy home and it is a form of neglect to your children. There is a wide range of normal and some will be quite clean all the time, and others will tend toward clutter and disorganization but the underlying things are basically clean and effort is regularly made to clean up. If you are a person who really struggles with this, you just need to budget to have house help.
Yes, my spirit loves order and cleanliness. Of course my kids play with their toys, build forts, make all sorts of messes...and that's okay! But child messes are different than filth. Filthy tubs and toilets, dusty homes, and unsanitary kitchens are hazardous to our health. I let my kids have all the fun they want during the day, but before nap/quiet time in the afternoon, we clean it all up together. And do it again at bedtime. :) That way my husband and I can relax and spend time in a clean, orderly house together at night.
Thanks for this great post, Lori! My comment is mostly for those of us who struggle with being "nasty neat-freaks." I battled with this issue for a while, not knowing where to draw the line between having a neat home and letting life happen. Being a "fighter," I felt like giving in to messes meant defeat. Then my husband really encouraged me. He said that it probably comes down to one thing -- surrendering to God. Not to the mess, but to God. Yes, God is a God of order. But if I trample over my family while keeping the house clean, I'm not being loving. And God is a God of love too. We mothers need to have that beautiful balance of order and love in our homes!
I think there is a difference between 'dirty' and 'untidy'. We should never allow our houses to be filthy and Loris post is spot on that it is a discipline to be clean and well ordered as God is a God of order. You have to find the balance.
Blessings
Helen UK
My parents’ house was a disaster and I did not learn to do even basic cleaning until I moved out. My friends and my MIL were great mentors for me. The key for me is to use cleaning routines and stick to them as much as possible. It still isn’t easy. I wrestled with the spiritual aspects of housework for years. If I cleaned I was “vain” if I didn’t clean I was “lazy.” Loads of guilt either way. The answer I found has been to view housework simply as one of my jobs and not over-analyze it. I view housework as only a part of the overall job as a wife and mother and NOT the most important part. I believe the story of Martha & Mary in Luke 10 illustrates this. As with everything in this flawed life, we must just try to do the best we can and trust in God’s Grace for the rest.
I believe balance is the key. I tend to not mind messy but am very attentive to dirty. It is important for children to learn to clean up their own messes. Having said that mess need not be stress. I love a clean home but the reality of being a mom of six kids I have lowered my standards. I cannot lie I wish I could do it all and more but I'm learning to be content doing my best.
Love being his wife.'s avatar

Love being his wife. · 566 weeks ago

Lori, I love the kitchen is it yours?
1 reply · active 566 weeks ago
Love being his wife.'s avatar

Love being his wife. · 566 weeks ago

It is beautiful, I love country kitchens! I love draws above the cupboards!
Sadie Grace's avatar

Sadie Grace · 566 weeks ago

I used to think a clean house was a secondary matter. However, my husband didn't think so in the least. So, because it was important to him, I needed it to become important to me. Now, as I see my daughter growing up, a girl who can function in complete chaos (and can often be very undisciplined), I see the importance of teaching tidiness and organization as a form of self-discipline. Tidiness is not idol in our house, but it is an important way to keep our lives more orderly so that we can be more efficient in our actions, and focused on worshipping God in all our actions.

Now I must go wash the remaining dishes from breakfast. Thanks Lori! :)
I completely agree that cleaning the home should never be the first priority--however, I definitely believe that cleaning can be a big part of raising Godly children--in my home, growing up, most of the daily housecleaning was done by the children, as our Mom taught us, which meant that as we have grown up we had the skills to clean a house well and we weren't lazy enough to avoid needed chores.
This is such a struggle to balance for me. I love cleanliness and order and have a hard time keeping people the priority over things. I don't want my home to be an idol. Thanks for your words of encouragement!
I love how you say we shouldn't make our homes become an idol. Good thing for me to keep in mind as a stay-at-home mom trying to juggle everything.
So well said! It's such a delicate balance. Raise up children, enjoy them, let them have fun, practice hospitality, and keep your home in order. We want to do it all, but sometimes, it doesn't happen all at once. We want to keep up with chores and it's good for us to be disciplined in it ... but we have to allow for exceptions. Sometimes, it's better to play with the kids and vacuum another day. Or invite the friend over even though you have nothing to serve except PB and J's. Great reminder for me and I'm sure many women!
Hi and thanks for your post/blog. I reached your site via Little House in the Suburbs link. I never thought about cleaning this way before. The scripture you noted was particularly convicting (thank you!) :)

I was raised by a mama who didn't clean. Everything was messy, cluttered and dirty. I can hear myself as a younger woman....."NO! I am NOT like my mom!" Well, guess what - "Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all". This ain't gonna' be easy. Thanks again for your post and I'll let you know how I'm doing in the cleaning department!
A very thoughtful post, Lori, I think the phrase, 'she looks well to the ways of her home' basically says she's always looking to take care of her responsibilities and to make it a wonderful home - fascinating question, I will be featuring your post in this week's A Return to Loveliness,
Kathy
Great writing.

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