Thursday, May 7, 2015

When Do Mothers Get a Break?


Women have asked me when mothers of small children get a break since I teach them that they are to be home full-time, not allow sleep-overs, and homeschool them. They feel overwhelmed and exhausted. They know they are doing what they are supposed to be doing but it's just so difficult. They battle depression and being able to think clearly. What should they do?

You need quiet time. You need peace. Every single day, my children were in their rooms from 1:00 to 3:00 in the afternoon. If they were too old to take a nap, they could read or play quietly. It is good for children to learn to be quiet and rest also. When I was pregnant, I would put on Christian music and fall asleep! I would use that time to rest, read or watch some television. Every night they were in bed by 7:30 or 8:00.

Later in the afternoon, I would gather with other women in the neighborhood, sit out in front of our homes, and watch the children all play together or take them to a park. If you live where it is cold, it would be much harder to do, but it is so good if children can be outside as much as possible to get exercise, fresh air and sunshine.

You must also make sure you are eating healthy and getting plenty of sleep. {This is why I encourage young mothers to train their babies to sleep through the night as soon as possible.} Everything is much more difficult when you don't feel good. Then you must remember that we are not on this earth to find self-fulfillment and pleasure. We are here for a MUCH greater purpose; to glorify the Lord in all that we do and to love and serve others by giving ourselves away. However, we must be careful not to spread ourselves so thin that we make ourselves ill. This is why I encourage mothers to not have many activities outside of the home since keeping a clean and tidy home, fixing nourishing food, training your children and having time for your husband take a lot of time and energy from of you.

If you have family nearby, especially grandparents, ask them if they'd watch your children for several hours every weekend so you and your husband can have some alone time, even if it is in your own home. We watch our grandbabies every Saturday night and love it. Most grandparents or even aunts and uncles would love to spend time with your children. Alyssa and Jon love to watch Ryan's children, also. They even watched them for several days while Ryan and Erin celebrated their anniversary. If you don't have family around, see if there's a godly homeschool family around with a teenager that can help you in the afternoons. See how she is with the children and her integrity, then use her for babysitting during the weekends so you and your husband can be alone. If you don't have the finances for a babysitter, use the time at night after the children go to bed to enjoy each other.

There will still be times when you feel overwhelmed and exhausted {when you or the children are ill especially}, so do what Elizabeth Elliott said to do during these times, "Do the next thing!" Remind yourself that you are raising a mighty army for the Lord and that you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. He will be with you every step of the way and continue to trust His provision for you.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
 for I am gentle and lowly in heart, 
and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:29

Comments (14)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Thank you for this great reminder of giving our children and ourselves down time. Currently we do our school lessons in the morning and then we run errands on thuursday or friday afternoons. What is fun and a bit exhausting is the extracurricular activities. Right now my son plays baseball, two of my daughters dance, and my fourth is playing volleyball. These activities will all by ending by the end of May and i am wondering what to sign the kids up for Fall. Lori how did you balance out your kids sports and activities with all of the other responsibilities of running the home?
1 reply · active 516 weeks ago
I had other mothers who carpooled with me. Ken helped a lot since he loved being involved with their sports. It was our only entertainment during those years. The rest of the time was spent cooking, cleaning and taking care of the home. We didn't hang out with a lot of other people or have any other out-of-the-home commitments. Everything was centered around the family, home and children's activities. We enjoyed those years VERY much!
I met a woman at Target yesterday with 6 children under 10 (I've been there!). We started chatting and she said all she wanted for Mothers Day was a a few hours to herself, lol! We were laughing as her littles were climbing all over the place. I wish we were neighbors, I could help her. I told her that my favorite part of Mothers Day is when my husband takes all the kids out of the house to shop for me. Even having a two hour "sabbatical" can really be a boost :)
Great post!
1 reply · active 516 weeks ago
Thank you, Rachel. Yes, anything that helps recharge the batteries is good for young mothers since they desparately need it!
I love this! I get overwhelmed at times, but now how I hear others describe. I have 4 kiddos 5 and under and I often hear how full my hands are, but I just feel so blessed. We have a strict nap/quiet time between 1 and 3. As I'm nearing the end of a pregnancy I always use that time to site relax and watch TV or take a nap. It's just the rest I need. My oldest two no longer take naps, but if they are loud then they are made to lay down to rest and not play. My daughter usually colors and my son usually plays with Legos during this time. Sometimes I put a movie on for them to watch together. My kids are in bed by 7:30. I spend at least 30 minutes getting the house all cleaned up and then I have time to relax in the evenings as well either by myself if my hubby is working late or quality time with my hubby. I seem to find time to take a bath 3x a week or so and spend relaxing time working on my crochet projects. I don't focus on "me time" at all, but it does happen. I'm thankful for those times. I recently got done doing a study in Philippians. It is an amazing book to teach you how to love. Constantly Paul Yale about dying to self, not focusing on yourself abs serving others. This has changed me so much. When I start thinking of my own needs not getting met I try to think of how I can serve my husband and children more. True fulfillment in Christ comes from truly loving and serving others. We also stay home and have chosen because of my husband's work schedule to not have our kids in extra activities. In the coming years as he promotes we hope he will have a more Monday trig Friday schedule where he could help a lot with taking kids to events. He knows that me doing it all now would be to hard on our family.
2 replies · active 516 weeks ago
You are blessed and have a wonderful life, Brit!
ContentWife's avatar

ContentWife · 516 weeks ago

This sounds rather familiar to me, Brit. I also have 4 kids 5 and under, and am pregnant with my fifth. :) Yes, sometimes I am waiting for these busy years to pass by, so my older children can help more. And sometimes it feels like we're in survival mode; but like you, I'm learning to love my children, to not be so selfish, and to enjoy this season. Isn't motherhood a great spiritual school? :) I'm amazed at God's ways. Might as well learn these lessons now while we're young.
Keep it up, sister. May the Lord encourage you and strengthen you for each day.
(Thanks, Lori, for another great post. You are a wonderful blessing and encouragement.)
I'm happy to hear that I am doing things similar to how you did Lori! Nap time/quiet time is a MUST every single day. I try to accomplish all my "work" so that I can sit and enjoy my quiet time in the afternoons. I also believe in early bedtimes and kids sleeping in their own rooms and beds! Date night is where we struggle - it costs a lot to go out AND pay a babysitter. We try to plan home dates though. Also my husband lets me have some alone time whenever I need it. Yesterday I had been dealing with a sick baby all day that evening he ordered me to my room for some rest. What a sweetheart!
I sometimes find when im stressed just sitting down with the kids and watching a funny movie or sending them into the backyard to play while i sit down to have some tea, or learning to laugh when i feel most stressed can help too. I love naptime too or even saving a special activity that doesnt require much supervision can be great too. :-)
Yes, yes, and YES! Motherhood does not have to mean martrydom. I think so often we forget that we are deserving of the love and care that we give to those around us. I wrote a blog post on this topic: http://tinyurl.com/nzk8eqy .
Lori, this post blessed me. Thanks for the reminder of just how important our job is as a mom while giving some insightful suggestions to keep our own soul nourished! It's been a learning process for me as a mom of two very active, preschool ages "Irish twins" and living away from all our family thus far, but it's also been an amazing blessing for our family that I stay home with the children!
Happy Mothers Day,
Leslie
Daddy's Girl's avatar

Daddy's Girl · 515 weeks ago

I truly love this blog. I remember as a young mother and wife, I felt that it was my job to be super woman. I was serving in the Navy and I was still "pursuing" my passion outside of the home. I grew up watching my single mother doing it all so I thought I had to do it all too. It was so bad...for example when I attempted to rest, I thought I was being lazy so I got up and got busy. I thank God for His divine grace and mercy that has kept me even when I didn't know better. I thank Him that He has redeemed the time and I no longer feel the need to be Superwoman!
Thanks for sharing this. This post is very interesting and too good. I really enjoyed with this story about young mom and young wife. As a woman, U tell this, It is really very tough to play the role in our life.
Lori How can I put a 4 and a 2years old super energetic Duracell bunny to bed for a nap? Glue them in the bed or how? The older sleeps only in bed with me, IF ever, and the younger in the pram while taking a walk. Now.... Their Dad comes home át 7:30-8:00, and they just love hím, how could I sepatate them, they just run to their fater to rock for about an hour, or more.

Post a new comment

Comments by