Thursday, May 21, 2015

Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage


TLC was bold to show this program. Tara Furman learned to submit to her husband, then her marriage improved dramatically. My favorite part of this program was watching the young woman who Tara was teaching to submit. At the beginning, Mark and Kristen were in a troubled marriage. Kristen stayed in bed while Mark got the children off to school and drove  to work. She'd wake up resentful because the house was a mess. This was one unhappy couple on their way to divorce.

Tara mentors Kristen about being a submissive wife. Kristen decides she is going to give submission a try. She wakes up early, gets dressed, fixes her family breakfast and sends her husband off to work with a snack and a big hug. He's excited! She begins doing the laundry, catching up on her housework and fixing nice meals for her family. He brings home flowers to her. If Kristen continues on the submissive path, their marriage will not end in divorce!

There was a huge outcry against this show. Women came out in droves to protest it. Many said they would hate for their daughters to grow up to be a submissive wife and would no longer watch TLC. I guess they wouldn't want their daughters taking good care of their husbands and homes, then having their husbands fall madly in love with their daughters. Heaven forbid! This would just be terrible, in their minds.

Kristen is much happier with herself now that she is disciplined, kind and loving. A life of selfishness and living for ourselves produces pain and misery for everyone. Doing what we want, being lazy and selfish are NOT freedom as so many believe. This is being slaves to sin. Self-control is freedom, not bondage! God calls us to give ourselves away, serve others, be disciplined, have self-control and be kind; be servants of righteousness through the grace Jesus abundantly provides for us. 

 However, we should not be surprised at the firestorm against it. Satan is the prince of the power of the air and has blinded those who continually turn away from God and His ways "because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for Gad has showed it unto them...when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools" {Romans 1:19, 21, 22}. 

As believers, we are responsible for being salt and light and spreading seeds of Truth wherever we have the opportunity to spread them. We are not responsible for what type of soil our seeds are falling upon, only that we sow the seeds. Who knows? There were probably some women who watched this program and thought they just may give submission a try since they have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Many marriages have been saved when the wife stops expecting their husbands to make them happy and instead decides to do everything they can to make their husbands happy.

Kristin Haywood from the show has commented on this post and said the following: This is so encouraging friends! I hope you will take the time to add your feedback on the TLC Facebook page. I've been really torn down because of the show but I can't be upset because it's really turned our marriage around. In my defense, I have 3 chronic illnesses that have made things difficult and I did a lot more around the house than was shown. And, I hardly ever have taken a nap. But I get the point we were trying to get across. I pray that I get to continue on the show to encourage but also to show our progress. I would like the other pieces of this lifestyle to be shown & I would love to be a part of that. Do you all think I should start a public Facebook page? Feel free to find me on Instagram. My profile there is not private. I would love to continue to be supported and learn from you all. Btw you can find the show on Amazon, Apple TV,  and I have heard on Hulu and a few places on YouTube. Thank you again for the wonderful blog.

Comments (27)

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Love!! You made me laugh when you turned it around and asked why they wouldn't want their daughter to have their husband fall madly in love with them. This is perfect timing. I am continuously struggling with my relationship with my dad and stepmom. She is the opposite of submissive and he seems to submit to her. It's been so painful to watch and we have come to a head again. Looong story. But I liked how you stated that failing to submit makes life miserable for everyone. It certainly did in my house growing up and still does. I wish they could see how messed up their marriage is. She controls everything and all of my other siblings whether they realize it or not. I'm the only one who does my own thing and have a biblical marriage. Our children and life are pretty good examples of the blessings that come from obeying God. Thank you for your encouragement and please pray for me to make the right decision cover in how we go about our relationship from now on.
1 reply · active 257 weeks ago
I truly hope this show continues. There was a series about weight loss that followed the person through a year's journey to losing weight, and I wonder if this show could be done similarly. Tara and her husband could mentor couples and each episode could focus on a different couple and their journey to living a biblical marriage. I think it would be amazing to watch different types of couples learn and grow.

I shared TLC's post about the show on my personal page asking if any of my friends watched or what they thought about it, and not one person commented. I can get 50-100 likes on a silly photo, but nothing on that. I would love to reach out more and minister to friends and family via Facebook with posts about submission and being a godly wife, but after this one, my husband said it makes him uncomfortable when I post anything about that, so I will not be able to do that anymore.

I am very glad this show was aired and I pray people will watch and learn, be blessed and change their marriages for the better!
1 reply · active 514 weeks ago
I really want to see this show! I loved the trailer for it. Especially when one of the women's husband's told the lady who was trying to become submissive, that yes, she needed to become submissive and follow, but that she had to have something to follow. It's so true!
I'm really trying to become a submissive wife, and I won't lie, it is hard, but freeing.
1 reply · active 514 weeks ago
Dawn E. Brown's avatar

Dawn E. Brown · 514 weeks ago

Oh I love this.How exciting.Submission truly makes for a very happy family.I pray more young women will desire to be mentored in this way.Dawn E. Brown
1 reply · active 514 weeks ago
I hope I can find this show online... We just downgraded on our cable to save a little and for the fact that in the summer we hardly ever watch TV. But I'm disappointed I missed it! TLC was one of the few channels we enjoyed. Thank you for sharing about the show and your wisdom with us!
3 replies · active 514 weeks ago
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! (‭Isaiah‬ ‭5‬:‭20-21‬ NKJV)

Seems they have quoted the woman out of context too in the link you supplied. The only concern is if men who watch this do not have a leading through loving heart try to force their wives into a mode of behavior. Submission is due to God's work in a woman's heart, it cannot be forced.
1 reply · active 511 weeks ago
I want to see the whole episode. Is Kristin a stay at home mom? Because if she is then it sounds like laziness is the issue.
1 reply · active 499 weeks ago
You tube says it isnt available in my country (Australia). Would soo love to see it!
I love all your inspiring post. I really need them! My husband would say that I am a very submissive wife, but the more I study submission and the more I see my sin. I have to sigh and say I not as great in this area as I think or even pretend to be. It really comes down to little things. I always tell my husband to shave his hair every week for his clean cut look, he use to do it every two weeks. He seems bothered and irritated that I want him to do it when I want him too. When one night he thought I was being manipulating about it because I was asking him while he was tired, that was the finally straw. I saw the woman I was becoming a woman who wanted to control him. I kept on thinking about your older posts the ones about not controlling your husband. even if he wants to eat a nasty greasy hamburger and you want him to eat a salad and you suggest he does, and he does not. You are suppose to obey, not the other way around. We are leaving this weekend to PA to visit my old friends from bible college.
I want to take this time to walk in this command and obey it, even asking my husband to help me. You know if it were not for verses about obeying your husband in the bible, no woman would want to or think that is God`s best way for them. Thank God it is. I have a very loving husband that allows me to stay at home! This is a dream compared to most, I have been given every advantage to live in like of this, I just need to stop and say I will give up control even in things like hair!,,lol,,,,,I am doing a home bible study from the book: TITUS 2 Series, Secrets of a Happy Heart by Debi Pryde! It has been a huge blessing in this area as well. Thanks for all the posts you have on this we need it even in the best of Christian homes! Felicia Parak
2 replies · active 499 weeks ago
Kristin Haywood's avatar

Kristin Haywood · 514 weeks ago

This is so encouraging friends! I hope you will take the time to add your feedback on the TLC Facebook page. I've been really torn down because of the show but I can't be upset because it's really turned our marriage around. In my defense, I have 3 chronic illnesses that have made things difficult and I did a lot more around the house than was shown. And, I hardly ever have taken a nap. But I get the point we were trying to get across. I pray that I get to continue on the show to encourage but also to show our progress. I would like the other pieces of this lifestyle to be shown & I would love to be a part of that. Do you all think I should start a public Facebook page? Feel free to find me on Instagram. My profile there is not private. I would love to continue to be supported and learn from you all. Btw you can find the show on Amazon, Apple TV, I have heard on Hulu and a few places on YouTube. Thank you again for the wonderful blog. May I share this on Facebook?
1 reply · active 514 weeks ago
I really enjoyed this show! I love how the lady teaching submission said that it takes a really strong woman to submit. It is not for the weak and does not show weakness. I hope the show continues!
Daddy's Girl's avatar

Daddy's Girl · 514 weeks ago

Lori you have been a phenomenal example and a great mentor to me and many other women that visit your blog daily. You would be a great fit for this show.
Amazing story! I feel her pain though because when you have a chronic illness that makes you tired it is very hard to have to energy to get up early and serve your family. I give her a lot of credit! I have hypothyroidism and it can be very difficult to wake up early and have energy to get through the day
.
Is it just me or does anyone else see the over abundance in websites that preach to women about what we are spouses to do and don't do? It is too much. Some of you need to
pray and ask God for guidance in only your marriage discussions. Do you all think that wives are the only human being in the marriage?
Men are human too. When a man marries, he is to take part in the command, that tells us to submit ye to one another. Plus husbands are to lay down their lives for their wives. That is a very powerful command to husbands. It is wrong for us to lecture to women without lecturing to men too.
Where is the TV show created by TLC that is about husbands laying down their lives for their wives.
1 reply · active 498 weeks ago

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