Monday, January 2, 2012

Counter Cultural Dating

It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  I Corinthians 7:1,2

Treat...younger women like sisters, with absolute purity. 
I Timothy 5:2

The Bible never talks about dating or girlfriends or boyfriends.  There are two ways men and women should relate to each marriage or as brothers and sisters.  Our society has messed that up!  Today, teenagers date to try each other out with no purpose but to satisfy themselves.

I was listening to Pastor Phil Ballard from Mars Hill preach on this subject.  He contrasted cultural dating with counter cultural dating. 

The point in cultural dating is to sin or there is no point.  The point in counter cultural dating is marriage.  I always encouraged my children to wait until they were ready to get married, than date for the purpose of figuring out if their date is someone they wanted to marry.  Ryan was my only child that had a girlfriend in high school and I was constantly asking him if he was treating her as a sister with absolute purity. So if your children want to date in high school, keep them accountable by asking them that question often.

The goal in cultural dating is happiness, while the goal in counter cultural dating is holiness.  Looking back on my dating years, nothing beneficial came out of it.  Broken hearts, hurt emotions, NOT treating like brothers and sisters, etc.  It was not relationships that glorified God.

The bond in cultural dating is physical attraction which is fleeting.  The bond in counter cultural dating is knowing each other as a person and building a committed friendship that respects and honors one another.  From my own experience,  within marriage is the only place one can truly feel secure in giving one's heart to someone else.  Commitment is a beautiful thing!   God instituted marriage for a good reason.  There is no guilt, no fear of losing  the relationship, and peace knowing it is forever!

The foundation of cultural dating is feelings while the foundation of counter cultural dating is Jesus!  Feelings come and go.  Love is commitment.  When Jesus is your foundation, you are building on solid ground.  When feelings are your foundation, you are building a relationship on shaky ground.  Be prepared to get your heart broken or break someone else's heart.

Encourage your children in counter cultural dating.  Either treat the opposite sex as a brother or sister in Christ, highly valued by God, or date on the path to marriage.  Stop fooling around with other people's emotions and thinking how to please yourself.  God's ways are best and they work!