Sunday, July 15, 2012

Is He Really That Bad?

Ask yourself if your husband is really that bad.  So many of us go through life thinking our husbands are not good husbands.  Ken now says that he knew during those 23 years of a difficult marriage to me that he couldn't be wrong all the time.  We argued frequently because I wanted to be right and get my way.

My dad said to me the other day that all those years that he and mom didn't get along well, he would wonder to himself if he was really all that bad.  He felt my mom was always upset with him.  I think a lot of men must ask themselves that same question.  A lot of us are good at making our husbands feel like they are not good men.

Our expectations are too high ~

We marry thinking that they should make our lives happy,
instead of thinking how we can make their lives happy. 

We expect them to say the right things at the right times and read our minds. 

We expect them to understand our moods and be sensitive and kind to us always. 

We expect them to say wonderful things to us even when
we are doing nothing to deserve it. 

We expect them to talk to us and share their deepest feelings.

Go into marriage with no expectations on him but a lot on yourself.  Expect to love him just the way that he is and only try and change yourself.  Find out what makes him happy and start doing those things.  Only think and say positive and uplifting things about him.   Refuse to be angry and upset with him but kind and forgiving instead.

Most husbands are not bad men.  Most show their love by working hard and providing for their families.  They want to come home to a home full of love and peace, a sanctuary from the storms of life.  Be that sanctuary for him.  Realize he is not that bad.  In fact, I bet he is a pretty great guy!

For where envying and strife {arguing and quarreling} is, there is confusion and every evil work.  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated {always helpful}, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
James 3:16,17