Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Husbands' Responsibility In Sex

Some women were very upset with me when I wrote the post about wives being obligated to have sex regularly with their husbands.  They felt I left out the husband's responsibility in the whole equation.  I just want to remind you all that I am using this blog as an older woman teaching the younger women.  I don't want the role of teaching men.  That isn't a role that God has asked me to take.

It took me so long to be a good wife because I was always reading about the husband's role in a marriage and deciding Ken wasn't living up to His God ordained role so why should I?  When I stopped evaluating Ken's role as a husband and just looked at my role, our marriage improved dramatically.

Yes, husbands shouldn't defraud their wives of sex.  The Bible commands both husbands and wives to render due benevolence {sex} to each other.  If they don't, they are defrauding each other, essentially stealing from the other one what is rightfully theirs.

Most husbands want sex more than their wives.  They have ten times the testosterone that women have so their drive is usually much stronger.  However, there are some wives that want it more than their husbands.  What advice do I have for them?

First of all, make sure you have clearly expressed your need for more sex to your husband.  If you have done that, you must leave it in God's hands.  Continue to obey God in your role of loving, serving, and pleasing your husband.  You are not responsible for him to obey God.  You are not his Holy Spirit.

As you live your life in front of him becoming more and more like Jesus, you may just win him without a word.  Also, pray a lot about it.  We are to take everything to the Lord in prayer.  Don't discuss it with your friends and relatives.  Maybe find a godly, older woman to pray with you but then trust the Lord with your life and your desires.

The only person we can change is ourselves.  No matter how hard you try to change your husband, you cannot.  You will just make the marriage worse.

In the same way, you wives,
be submissive to your own husbands
so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word,
they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.