Monday, May 13, 2013

Don't Dictate To Him

Meredith Viera has been married for 26 years to a man who has multiple sclerosis.  She knew he had it before she married him but she said she fell in love with him anyways.  She was on Dr. Oz recently and said,  "In the sixties, I bought into the notion that you can have it all. The job you always wanted.  I had a little boy.  I was happily married.  I thought the package was complete.  Then I discovered in doing the job that something had to give.  Life is really about priorities.  For me, it was the job that had to give.  It was all consuming."

She feels that since her children grew up with a dad with a disease, her children are more empathetic towards others.  She said Richard has dealt with his illness with strength and humor which has been good for the children. 

When asked what makes her marriage strong, she responded, "I am a good listener. I have a strong backbone.  I don't impose on him and I think that is important when you are living with someone with illness.  I think it is wrong to decide things for them...I don't want to dictate to him...I couldn't live his life for him.  I have to be there to support him."

Such wise advice.  It is so easy to think we know best with our spouses.  What they should eat.  What they should wear.  What they should watch.  What they should do with their free time.  What they can do to be a better spiritual leader.

No spouse wants to be dictated to by the other.  You sure don't want to be dictated by your spouse.  Allowing your spouse to live their life the way they please is a wonderful gift you give them along with being his biggest supporter.  We need to treat others the way we want to be treated.

I have always like Meredith.  She always has seemed so kind and loving towards others.  Now I see why.  She doesn't try to control or manipulate others.  She allows them to be who they are and loves them that way.  This is a recipe for a peaceful and happy home.

And be you kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32