Thursday, May 16, 2013

Giving Into Despair

Life can be very difficult at times.  For several weeks after surgery, it was very hard not to give into despair.  I even wrote on my facebook page these words..."When I am too weak to cling to Jesus, you {my brothers and sisters in Christ} cling to Him and hold tightly onto me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."  

I felt too weak to pray most of the time.  I read these words in Streams In The Desert that describe what I was going through perfectly ~

Once you have come close to the point of despair, God's message is not, "Be strong and courageous" {Joshua 1:6}, for He knows that your strength and courage have run away.  Instead, He says sweetly, "Be still, and know that I am God"{Psalm 46:10}.

Hudson Taylor was so weak and feeble in the last few months of his life that he told a friend, "I am so weak I cannot write.  I cannot read my Bible.  I cannot even pray.  All I can do is lie still in the arms of God as a little child, trusting Him."  This wonderful man of God, who had great spiritual power, came to the point of physical suffering and weakness where all he could do was lie still and trust.

Just before going into surgery, my dear neighbor Uschi, came to visit and as she was leaving, she said, "Stop being so strong!"  I told her I needed to be or I would be in a mental hospital.  God taught me otherwise.  I don't always need to be strong for when I am weak He is strong.

During those rough days, I depended on the prayers of all of you and the support of my family.  Ken was a huge comfort to me with reassuring words.  I can't imagine going through something like this without a supportive spouse.  

I have learned through my many trials that God never does leave me nor forsake me just as He has promised.  I have learned that it is okay to be weak.  I have been very, very weak yet He has carried me through just like He always will.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4

***Thank you Mossy family for the beautiful basket of flowers!