Don't Let Satan Steal Your Joy!

The main thing that most women I mentor have lost is their joy. They exhibit no joy, especially towards their husbands. They have allowed circumstances, feelings, and/or emotions to steal all of their joy. They have completely forgotten the riches they have in Christ and that the joy of the Lord is our strength.

Ken and I mentored a young couple years ago who were high school sweethearts and were full of joy. She was eager to be a godly help meet to her husband. They wanted a marriage that glorified the Lord and I believe they are accomplishing this goal. The Lord blessed them with beautiful twins. Recently she wrote this on her Facebook page ~

Y'all the coolest thing just happened. I was all grouchy and tired and the babies were being fussy. And I just put on some worship music and prayed for more joyful heart and the craziest thing happened. It was like instantly I felt so much joy and peace and contentment and I remembered the saying that the mom is the thermostat of the home. She sets the mood of the home and now the babies are being so good and playing by themselves.  I was able to clean the kitchen and make two batches of baby food and do laundry. God is so awesome how sometimes he immediately answers prayers.

Then I read these words by Michael Pearl ~ “If you know God, and you’re saved, and you have a productive, fruitful life, you’re going to be joyful. You’re going to be happy. I don’t know any joyful people that are unhappy. Joy is not some abstract theological doctrine. It is something that’s on your face, in your lips, in the muscles of your body, when you’re joyful. Everybody knows you’re joyful."

Too many wives have lost their joy. They have allowed their husband’s imperfections to cause them to be moody and unappreciative. When they do this, it simply pushes their husbands farther away from them. God commands that we REJOICE always! He wants His people to be known for their joy and happiness. He forbids grumbling and complaining. We are to shine like stars in a dark universe!

Choose to be happy! It is a choice you get to make every day and we, wives, have a powerful influence on the happiness meter in our home. If we choose to be happy, most likely we will raise happy children and will draw our husband to us. There are abundant riches to being joyful!

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: 

but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 15:13

Fellowship Friday

Does God Bless Junk Food?

A woman I was with recently believes that as long as we ask God to bless our food, He will bless it. We shouldn't worry about what we eat but just make sure we pray over it. I challenged her on this belief and asked her if someone chooses to eat french fries, pizza, and coke at every meal and asks God to bless it, will the food not affect him negatively? She didn't know how to respond to this.

God gave us common sense. He created food for us to eat. We should all know that the food God created for us to eat is the best food to nourish our bodies. How can man possibly make something better for us than God? He can't. God created us and knows what is best for us.

If you believe you can eat anything you want and it won't affect your health, you are testing God and He doesn't like this. Up until 100 years ago, no one had the choice between God's food and junk food. Everyone ate from their own gardens and farms or other's gardens and farms. There was no toxic fertilizers, pesticides, hormones, or steroids. The air and the water weren't contaminated. Once sanitation became implemented, many of the diseases cleared up. Now, we are experiencing the diseases of a rich nation {cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.} who caters to taste buds instead of healthy bodies.

It is well known that food created the way God created it is healthier for us. Even the Cancer Society recommends numerous portions of fruits and vegetables a day. There are many articles being published today about the value of eating food in its natural state.

I believe the bottom line is discipline. We are a nation of undisciplined people who would rather eat what we want, when we want, instead of showing self-control and eating what we know is good for us. Eating healthy is a lot of work. You must shop more, chop more, and cook more. You must read labels {although I think it is best not to buy food in a can or box} and know what is in your food. It is a lot easier and convenient to just buy pre-made everything and zap it in the microwave or go out to dinner and let others prepare your food with who-knows-what. I love what Michael Pearl wrote in his latest magazine, "When scientists perform genetic modification on our seeds, they are assuming they are wiser than God"{Revelation 11:18}.

God gave us wisdom. He gave us food. He even gave us common sense. We need to use these in all of our decisions in how we live our lives. No, it shouldn't become an idol as many accuse those of us who care about what goes into our bodies, although most of them idolize their junk food! Eat as healthy as you can and then leave the rest up to the Lord. We do live in a very toxic world so we have little control . The only thing we really can control at all is what goes in our mouth.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, 

or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

I Corinthians 10:31

Food Babe is someone I would recommend you reading!

Glorifying God and Having a Blast!

These were the two goals Steven and Emily had for their wedding; glorify God during the wedding and then hoping everyone has a blast at their reception. Mission accomplished! Emily walked down the isle to the Doxology and then the song we sung was Great is Thy Faithfulness. The minister preached Jesus and the purpose of marriage. JB, Ken's best friend, read scripture. It all glorified God!

The reception was a BLAST!!! The food was wonderful. The toasts were great. The dance floor was packed full the entire time. The groomsmen and the bridesmaids had a dance off that was hysterical! Randy, one of Steven's best friends, danced alone for awhile and was simply amazing and funny. All those on the dance floor knew numerous dances that they all did together. Texas people know how to dance! And it was decent and celebratory dancing. If you didn't see the short twelve minute video capturing the best of the evening, HERE it is again. It was a beautiful, amazing evening.

Weddings should be great times of celebrations! Two lives are joining into one and a whole new generation is being created. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding, changing water into wine. It shows to us the importance He places on weddings and marriage for someday all of us will be eating together at the great feast in heaven when Christ is united once and for all with His bride, the church, us!

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: 

for the marriage of the Lamb is come, 

and his wife hath made herself ready.

Revelation 19:7

Does God Care About Feminists' Accomplishments?

Does God care about the accomplishments of the feminist movement? I googled what the feminist movement accomplished and this is what I found ~

More women started careers instead of staying home with their children. In 1970, 8 percent of all medical school graduates and 5 percent of law school graduates were women. By 1998, those numbers had risen to 42 and 44 percent respectively. Women also made political gains as many ran for and were elected to office. {source}

I also know they helped abortion become legal, gave women the right to vote, and equal pay for equal work. Are these things important to God?

No, I think some of them are completely contrary to what God wants of women. He WANTS them staying home with their children. I doubt He cares about wives and mothers having careers and running for political office since almost all of the leadership positions held in the Bible were by men. I can't believe He would change His mind over the years because of the new {???} enlightenment.

I know He hates abortion. He hates the killing of the innocent. There is NO chance He supports abortion. What about equal pay for equal work? I am not sure about that since it is simply a result of women leaving their homes for careers and usually neglecting their husbands and homes. The right to vote? Not sure about that either since a wife's vote may cancel out her husband's vote who God has ordained as the head and leader of the home. {Please don't worry, feminists. I promise I will not try to take away your right to vote. Yes, I always vote and I vote exactly the same way that Ken does so I don't cancel out his vote.}

So does God care much about women? YES! He wants them to know how absolutely and completely loved they are by Him. He wants them to know He finds them worthy: worthy enough to send His only begotten Son to die for them; worthy enough to spend eternity with Him; worthy enough to be called His child; worthy enough to live mightily within them giving them power to live godly lives. He LOVES women. He knows the best place for the majority of women is in the home ministering to their husbands and children. He knows this has eternal significance.

I tried the career path. I tried ruling over my husband. I didn't like it at all. It produced chaos and turmoil in my life. I am thankful I get to be home. I am thankful I was the one who raised my children. I am so thankful I have learned to be a godly, submissive help meet to my husband. Life is SO much better God's ways. Try it. You may find the abundant blessings flowing from doing things God's ways also!

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men;

 and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

I Corinthians 1:25

She Tried To Do It All

Many women realize too late that trying to do it all is not worth the price. A reader commented on this post about this topic. I thought her experience was worthy of a post of its own in hopes of sparing other women from trying to do it all ~

I did it all, by choice. Now I HAVE to do it all because I'm divorced. Going down the superwoman path carries a price, to yourself, to your marriage, to your kids and to your time with God. Are you trying to prove something by doing that? What?

I believe that women who are married and have children CAN also have a career, but that does have a price. Sometimes the man does not make enough money to support his family and the woman has large earning potential. I was there. But you HAVE to consider the big picture. Some marriages can be creative and you can both be frugal ~ to compensate for lesser income and more time with family. But IF you can make it work for the woman to be home, I STRONGLY encourage you to view that as the best option. It's biblical, it's proven statistically by tracking 'outcomes' of children by social services, in divorce figures, in the happiness and health of the entire family.

EVEN IF you can work all day and have the energy to play with your kids, teach them, cook good whole food meals, clean house, do laundry, STUDY THE WORD, have time to exercise and still have the energy to have sex. REALLY!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO BE THAT BUSY ALL THE TIME??? Where is the 'spending time together' in all that?? When I was married and doing all that I could only sleep 4 hours a night. I was crabby to everyone and tired ALL the time. Nobody was getting the best of anything from me.

I'm a 50 year old single mother of a teen now. I own my own business, own my own home, I am a poster child for the feminists. {barf} I am active in my church... and I'm chronically EXHAUSTED. At one point when my son was a toddler and my business was more 'successful' than it is now, I was sleep deprived and INSANE. My health and relationships suffered, GREATLY. And while I do not think that is why I am divorced, it certainly was a factor. I'm divorced because my husband was an addict. Was my 'doing it all' a factor in his sickness? How could I say it wasn't?? But the fact now is that I don't have time to seek a mate, I have a boat that has not been in the lake for 4 years... an activity that I always dreamed of sharing with my son.

I am from the generation of women who first proved 'we can do it all' and MANY of my peers and friends have done so. ALL of them would tell you there was a price paid for it. ALL. OF. THEM.

I HAVE to sleep 6-7 hours a night now because I did less for so long that I have health challenges and eye problems if I don't. THERE IS A PRICE. I would GIVE ANYTHING to have a solid marriage to a man who could provide to us. Don't be someone who didn't know what they had until it is gone... be honest with yourself. Even if you ARE able to get all the chores done all the time, aren't you giving up precious 'relationship' time with your spouse, kids, God, friends and extended family? The very relationships that feed our souls and are the real purpose for being?

Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.

Colossians 4:5

The Clear Negatives of Mothers Leaving the Home

Women use to give me a hard time whenever I wrote a submission. I am not getting as many arguments about that anymore. However, I still get quite a bit of controversy whenever I write about women being keepers at home. For some reason, that is a HUGE hot button for many women.

During one of my posts and women not agreeing with what I had written, I found an interesting post written by Forbes Magazine, a non-biblical magazine. They have no vested interest in women working or not. They point out the gains women have made and the losses. The losses, to me, are so devastating that they negate any positives of women leaving their homes for work. What has suffered the most is the family, the backbone of any society. How can any gains be considered gains when the family loses?

Here are two paragraphs about the negatives about women working ~

Less time for mothers to spend with children due to their work schedules: There are definite downsides to women working. For example, mothers working full-time means they have busier schedules and less time to spend with children. "One third of all school age children in the Unites States are, for some part of the week, latch key kids; that is, they go to an empty house or apartment." As The Economist article warns, "Even well-off parents worry that they spend too little time with their children, thanks to crowded schedules and the ever-buzzing Blackberry."

Increased stress levels and changing roles: Harper and Leicht {Exploring Social Change: America and the World, 2007, p. 91} state, "The most pressing problem of dual-income families is not money, but the problem of managing 'ragged' family schedules and adjusting husband/wife roles." Women are currently juggling full-time careers, managing household chores and child rearing duties, as well as taking care of aging parents, thus greatly increasing their level of daily stress compare to women of previous generations. Family relationships have been shifting in dual-income families from patriarchal authority and "from fixed 'role scripts' toward more flexible 'role negotiation'" and egalitarian relationships.

And how is this all working??? Divorce is at an all time high. Depression an all time high. Suicide at an all time high. Broken family, broken marriages, and broken lives. No thank you. I will stick to teaching God's Word and His ways. He wants women keeping and guiding the home, guarding and protecting it from the Enemy. No, He doesn't say, "Women can not work outside of the home," but He makes His intentions very clear to us and what He wants from us. Plus, the consequences of straying from His will are extremely clear as stated in the article above.

Older women teach younger women to be...keepers at home.

Titus 2:3-5

HERE is an article from celebrity moms stating that working 

outside the home is hard on the family.

photo source

Micromanaging Your Children's "Courtship"

Our children did not date much. We raised them to only date when they were ready for marriage and then date someone they thought they may want to marry. Once they found "the one," we let them manage their relationship the way they felt led. We raised them to walk in Truth and they all were well aware of God's ways and what He expects from them.

The Duggars seem to micromanage their children's courtship. When one of their children skype with the one they are dating, the parents are right there with them. When they text each other, the texts go to the parent's phone, I believe. When the couples are together, there always has to be a chaperon with them. They only do side hugs until marriage and no kissing until then, either. Jill and Derrick talked with all of their parents and asked them if they thought it would be okay to hold hands after they were engaged. All the parents thought it would be fine.

This seems overprotective to most people. If I had not been watching the Duggar's show, I would have felt this same way. However, since watching several of the daughters date and now one is engaged and the other newly married, I don't think it is a bad idea. The children love and respect their parent's influence. They absolutely want to remain pure until marriage so they do everything they can to accomplish that goal. They all seem happy with no hint of rebellion in any of them.

Would I be that strict if I were to do it over again? I doubt it. We taught our children when they were young all about purity and trusted them as they got older to do the right thing. All of my married children have strong, happy marriages and I am sure Emily and Steven will have one also. It all comes down to how each family decides to handle the issue of sexual purity.

I am glad we have the Duggars as a visual example of their way of parenting. I have learned a lot from them as you can tell by the number of posts I write about them. They are rare indeed and I too love doing things God's ways and pleasing Him.  If I was just beginning to raise my children, I might do more of the things the Duggars do since they are such a happy, close family. 

I think we should have godly role models in our lives. We didn't really have many in our life when we were raising our children. Even most marriages were not that happy. I don't believe God ever intended it to be that way. The older generation should always be modeling to the younger generation and teaching them the ways of God since society will never do this for us. In fact, it does the complete opposite of God's ways.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: 

that you abstain from sexual immorality; 

that each one of you know how to control 

his own body in holiness and honor, 

not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles 

who do not know God.

I Thessalonians 4:3-5

***How have you or how do you plan on counseling 
your children through dating and courtship?

Everyone Needs a Pudge in Their Life

One day was especially difficult for me. I had just gone through three weeks of feeling very poorly. Then I got some potentially very bad news. I cried off and on and felt so discouraged. I texted all my friends and family for prayer. My mom and sister were in Door County, Wisconsin vacationing so they called me.

We were all discussing the situation and all feeling pretty low. Then my Aunt Pudge got on the phone. She is in her late 80s and is my mom's sister. I have always loved my Aunt Pudge. {Yes, this name was given to her when she was young and she is fine with it.} She LOVES Jesus and isn't afraid to speak about Him to anyone. 

She began reminding me to keep my eyes upon Jesus. She quoted, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" {Philippians 4:6}. Then she told me I was the Lord's precious child and to put on the whole armor of the Lord. She encouraged me so much with her words, reminding me who I was in Christ and that God had everything in control.

It is so easy to get discouraged down here. So many bad things happen to so many people. I rarely watch the news since I don't need any more bad news in my life. We are commanded to dwell on the lovely, good, and pure for a reason. God knows we can't handle thinking about the bad. It is too hard for us, especially since there is little we can do about it anyways except to just rest in Him.

Every morning before her children left for school, Pudge would tell them that they were all going to get dressed. With hand motions, they would all fasten the belt of truth around their waist. Then they would put on the breastplate of righteousness. They would put on their shoes as readiness given by the gospel of peace. In one of their hands, they would hold up the shield of faith. Finally, they would put on their heads the helmet of salvation with the sword of the Spirit in their other hand. In this way, they were well prepared to extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.

Her children were well prepared for the day ahead of them. The Word of God is powerful, more powerful than a two-edged sword. Use it often to encourage those around you. Nothing helps lift the spirits and prepares us for battle better than God's own words to us.

My Grandma Refused To Vaccinate Her Children

Good Morning America reported that there is a measles outbreak. They said 95% of those getting measles were not vaccinated. {This was on the news several months ago when I wrote this post. Apparently it wasn't that big of a deal since it wasn't on the news for long. Another example of how the media greatly exaggerates things.} I tried finding the side effects of measles verses the side effects of the measles vaccination and it is difficult to find the side effects of the vaccination. Almost all of the websites are written by the drug companies, the government or by doctors, all who have a vested interest in the vaccinations. I have read that if you want to find the true side effects of vaccinations, you must read the insert that comes in the box of the vaccination, which most parents never see. Most would think twice if they knew the true, long-term side effects of all those vaccinations they are putting into their children. Besides, they want to give children 49 vaccinations before they are 6 years old!

Dr. Mercola wrote about the dangers of the measles vaccination HERE. The Healthy Home Economist wrote about many people being afraid of vaccinating their children HERE. This is what the CDC said are the symptoms of measles ~

A typical case of measles begins with mild to moderate fever, cough, runny nose, red eyes, and sore throat. Two or three days after symptoms begin, tiny white spots (Koplik’s spots) may appear inside the mouth.

Three to five days after the start of symptoms, a red or reddish-brown rash appears. The rash usually begins on a person’s face at the hairline and spreads downward to the neck, trunk, arms, legs, and feet. When the rash appears, a person’s fever may spike to more than 104 degrees Fahrenheit. After a few days, the fever subsides and the rash fades. {A fever is a body's way of fighting disease.}

All of my children had chickenpox. Yes, they were miserable for several days, but they survived. They have all had the flu and gotten through it. I believe we do what doctors tell us to do way too easily without researching exactly what is in the vaccinations and what the long term effects are. Now adults are getting chickenpox which is WAY more dangerous than children getting it and when you get a certain strain of the flu, chickenpox or measles, your body develops a natural immunity to them so you will never get them again.

My grandmother had seven children. She was born in the very early 1900s way before any studies on vaccinations had been done. She birthed all of her children in her home and didn't vaccinate any of them. She didn't want to put that "poison" into their bodies as she put it. She raised them on a lot of fruits and vegetables, meat, dairy, and eggs. She always had a large garden. Only one of the seven got cancer and that was the oldest son. He smoked and got lung cancer. All five daughters are in their 80s and early 90s and have done amazingly good health wise.

I am not telling you to vaccinate or not to vaccinate but do a lot of research before you put any vaccine or drug into your body. All drugs and vaccinations have side effects. Most healthy bodies can fight most diseases. I believe a healthy immune system is the key to good health. There is just too much autism, autoimmune diseases, and cancer to not make us leery of adding one more toxin to our children's bodies. HERE is another good article about our children's immune systems being overloaded with vaccinations. Be a wise parent and make decisions carefully, prayerfully, and with a lot of research.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, 
who gives generously to all without reproach, 
and it will be given him.
James 1:5

***I realize a lot of you vaccinate your children. It is your choice to do so but allow those who choose not to vaccinate to do so without condemning or judging them. I tend to go against the flow with much of what society does, as you have noticed. I want to thoroughly research EVERYTHING before jumping headlong with what "everyone else is doing." 

***Remember, I'm NOT a doctor. I'm just a homemaker who loves to research 

natural cures and have found many that have worked for my family and me. Information I have given is for educational and informational purposes only and to motivate you to make your own health care and dietary decisions based upon your own research and in partnership with your health care provider. Any statements or claims about the possible health benefits conferred by any foods or supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Nothing you read here should be relied upon to determine dietary changes, a medical diagnosis or course of treatment.

Being Productive at Home

Home. A place to raise our children, love our husbands, and provide a warm and safe environment for them. Many women, once they come home full-time, aren't sure what to do at home all day and find life at home to be very boring.

All of life is about attitude. We can choose to be content where we are planted and make the most of it or we can grumble and complain always thinking of being somewhere else. God wants you at home caring for your family. If you aren't sure what to do at home, Rhonda from Down To Earth gives many suggestions that I am going to share with you ~

When I left work many years ago, there was no emphasis on simple life. I didn't know what simple life was then, I just wanted to survive. My focus was in putting food on the table every day and saving money by changing the way I shopped for food. It didn't take me long to realize that the best use of the time I now had at home was to self-produce a lot of the things I used to pay for. If I could do that I'd have a very good chance of not only saving money, but supplying healthier food for my family. So I was like a woman on a mission. I taught myself how to make bread, soap, laundry liquid, cleaners, jams, sauces, preserves, pasta and pickles. When I went shopping, I examined everything before I bought it. If there were too many chemicals and additives in it, I made it myself. Along the way, I discovered there were quite a few things we didn't need at all. Doing all that saved a lot of money and I skilled myself to supply my family and home with much of what we needed. While all that was going on, I was smiling more, slowing down and learning to appreciate this calm and quiet safe haven I was living in. I had taken control of my home, turned it from a passive to an active dwelling and changed myself in the process. Doing the housework changed me and my life.

As I worked towards making my home more productive, I turned my self from a fairly sad, overworked, self-employed woman in to a happy, energetic and fulfilled homemaker who brought real life back to my home. I felt powerful doing it too. I learned many basic skills, worked hard to improve every day, and every night, I went to bed tired. And after a good night's sleep, I jumped out of bed early the next morning, eager to do it all again. When Hanno retired and joined me, we divided up the house and yard work and both settle into blissful contentment. Mind you, not everything went well. When I made a mistake {and there were many}, particularly when I was trying to learn something new, it made me stop and examine what I was doing, work out where I went wrong and then think about how to make it right. That kind of analytical thinking helped a lot and those lessons were the most valuable because I never forgot them. Mistakes might be annoying but never waste the opportunity to learn from them.

If you're at a crossroads and not sure how to change your life, start with something that you're currently concerned about. If you're worried about money, start with a budget and re-think how to do your grocery shopping. Paying off debt is key to this way of life. If you want to eat healthier food, start by learning how to cook and bake from scratch. If you want to grow food, start learning how by finding a community garden or a neighbor or friend to teach you. Doing these things for yourself will bring you back to your home and all the goodness that flows from that. I promise you that once you take that first step, life will open up and it will be quite obvious what your next step should be. Just follow that path. It will be long and windy, there will be hills and quiet strolls in the park, but it will always be an interesting journey. A journey with no end.

She looks well to the ways of her household, 

and eats not the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

photo source

Admiring Women Of Power

Kellie Martin wrote a book called Madam: A Novel Of New Orleans. She saw a picture of Mary Deubler {Madam} when she was in college and was so intrigued by her. She looked "confidant and strong" and she knew she wanted to study her to someday write a book about her.

Madam was a poor prostitute who rose to have a lot of power over New Orleans way before the women's right movement took place. Kellie loves and admires women of power and strength. I pondered that a moment and thought, "I sure don't admire the same kind of power and strength she is talking about!" I admire those whose power and strength come from the Lord and could care less about fame and fortune.

I love and admire Michelle Duggar who is raising many children to love Jesus and loves her husband. I love a woman in Illinois who lives in a trailer with nine children, home schools all of them, and adores her husband. I admire Mother Teresa who went about doing good deeds and loving the poor. I love young women who love their husbands by trying to please them and make their lives good. I love to hear of mothers who sacrifice to stay home with their children and train them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and unmarried young women who "care for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit."{I Corinthians 7:34}

When I see powerful and popular women on television and in politics who have small children at home, I am sad for them and for their family. I am sad that they have decided fame and fortune are more important than being with their families. I could care less if a woman ever ruled a city or a country. This just doesn't impress me in the least since I know that a woman has much more power to affect society by raising godly children who are lights in a dark world.

We all have a choice in how we live our lives. Some women pursue careers, fame, fortune, power, politics, etc. and they have every right to do that so don't think I am trying to take it away. {Newsflash! ~ I have no power to do that anyways.} I just want to be a small voice for those who don't want to pursue those things and encourage them in being godly young women, wives, mothers, and keepers at home. What you have chosen is a good thing, a very good thing.

It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to 

become great among you shall be your servant.

Matthew 20:26

She Brings Home The Bacon And Fries It Too

Whenever I encourage women to be keepers at home, I receive comments from women who can "do it all" and can't understand what the problem is with working full-time out of the home. I have incredibly wise readers and sometimes they respond to these women better than I do. Here is one example of what I mean ~

Don't see where there's a problem...I work all day and still manage to make home cooked dinners 7 nights a week. It's not that hard. If I'm home by 5 pm, there's plenty of time to cook dinner, clean up, throw a load of laundry in and straighten out the family room. So, I can bring home the bacon and fry it up too...and yes, I LIKE my career, it's taking advantage of my God-given abilities. So...if I decided to give it up, wouldn't I be wasting the gifts that God gave me? 

One of my readers responded to this woman this way ~

You may not see the problem, but it's definitely there. It's attitudes like this that keep the rest of us women in bondage. I'm happy that you can do it all, but you need to understand that this is not how most people--both men and women--are built. 

How many men come home from a full day's work, labor in the kitchen, clean up, straighten up the house, AND do laundry? If you're happy playing Superwoman, so be it. I would have given anything to have been told I didn't have to do it all while I was still working full-time, and I know most of my friends are equally miserable. 

Our culture expects us to be Superwomen, running ourselves into the ground; God does not. Furthermore, to respond to the question you posed at the end, I believe that God gave me many gifts. The notion that I am somehow "wasting" my gifts by not using them in the workforce is absurd. Don't I have any influence on my husband, family, and children? 

I'm a gifted writer who is teaching my own children how to write. I'm a critical thinker who is teaching my children how to think critically. Whatever impact I make on the next generation is a valuable investment of my talents. Being a stay-at-home wife {and later, mother}, was good enough for our mothers and grandmothers. Why are we trying to reinvent the wheel, as though we somehow think we're better or more liberated than they are?  

I love learning from the women who read my blog. They give me many things to ponder and learn. Thank you, all of you who participate and give great responses like the one above! Many women are coming home to their families and loving it.

Romance Is A Long Sacrifice

Jennifer Lopez was interviewed recently and asked if she has figured out what real love is yet. She said her songs use to be about love and romance. Then after three divorces and several break-ups with boyfriends, she sang about heartache. Now, she is not quite sure what real love looks like.

Elspeth recently made this comment on a blog, “Most people are lying when they stand in front of the preacher and vow to stay for better or worse. What’s more, everyone including the preacher, knows they’re lying which makes the whole debacle even worse.”  {Elspeth has a great blog HERE.}

Real love is commitment, a vow until death do you part. Marriage is to resemble Christ and the Church. Christ is committed to those who believe in Him forever just as we are called to do with the spouse that we marry, through richer or poor, in sickness and in health, and for better or for worse. 

Until she understands what love is, Jennifer will never experience the joy of committed love. Our nation does not keeps its vows. It is a nation of vow breakers. However, we are the people of God and we should not be like the world. We should be keeping our vows come what may.

God tells us wives, "Let not the wife depart from her husband" and to the husbands, "Let not the husband put away his wife." {I Corinthians 10,11} Even if we are unfaithful to the Lord, He remains faithful to us. We should do the same with our spouse.

I have seen too many marriages that stayed together despite adultery and have enjoyed many happy years together. God can heal anything. When you divorce, you are saying that God is not powerful enough to put together what is broken. I tell you, He is powerful enough to put anything back together, including your marriage.

True love doesn't seek to be happy. True love seeks to be faithful. We can remain faithful because God tells us we can, "We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us."

I feel sorry for Jennifer Lopez and all those out there who badly want to figure out love. They are searching in all the wrong places and coming up holding the ashes of another burned up relationship. Until they realize that true love is commitment, not emotions, feelings, or happiness, they will NEVER find love.

As Ann Voskamp so beautifully says it, "Don’t let Hollywood define it {love}; 

let the pages of Truth define it: Romance is a long sacrifice."

Taking Your Husband's Last Name

Emily took Steven's last name last week. Her father walked her down the isle towards Steven. He stood between Emily and Steven. Her father has been her protection from the time she was born. He loved her, provided for her, and protected her. Steven went to her father awhile ago and asked her father for her hand in marriage.

Emily took her father's name when she was born since her father was her protector. When the three of them stood before the pastor, he asked Steven if he would protect, care for, and love Emily until one of them should die. Steven made a vow that he indeed would do all those things for her. 

Then the pastor asked Emily's father who was giving this woman to this man. He responded, "Her mother and I." A transfer of protection happened in that moment. Steven and Emily joined hands. When they were announced as husband and wife, the pastor said, "May I introduce to you Dr. and Mrs. Steven Alexander." Emily had taken Steven's name now that he had vowed to take over protection of Emily from her father.

Several years ago, I heard Dennis Prager tell this young man who was interested in a young woman but didn't want to take his last name to RUN! He encouraged the young man to never marry a woman who refused to take his last name. She would be preferring her father's protection and name over her husband's.

When we marry, we become one with our husband. He becomes our source of protection and provision and we become his help meet. It is such a beautiful picture of Christ and His church. When we believe in Jesus, we begin calling ourselves Christians. We take on a new name with a new identity in the same way that Emily now has a new name and a new identity.  She is Steven's help meet with his last name.

All of the young women in my family, my daughters and daughters-in-law, changed their names on their Facebook pages almost immediately after they got married. They were thrilled to take on their husbands' last names. They wanted to be clearly identified with them. It was something they were proud and very happy about, unlike many in our "enlightened" society.

 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, 

and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31

***HERE is a short video of their wedding!

Our Lives Are All About The Gospel

When God commands something, it is for the Gospel of the Lord Jesus.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, 

to love their husbands, to love their children, 

to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, 

obedient to their own husbands, 

that the word of God be not blasphemed...

that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things. 

Titus 2:4,5,10

We are to be sober so we can be alert to the dangers around us, protecting ourselves and our families from the lies of the Satan. We must grow in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord so we can clearly distinguish between the lies of society verses the Truth of God's Word so others may see the beauty of God's Truth lived out and may draw others to Him.

We are to love our husbands so there will be peace and harmony in our homes, so we may model the unity between Christ and His church. We can represent strong, solid marriages to a society where this is becoming the exception rather than the norm. Christ is the glue that holds it all together.

We are to love our children, disciplining them and raising them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord so they will grow up to be godly offspring and continue to spread the sweet aroma of our Lord and Savior.

We are to be discreet and chaste so as to not cause others to stumble and give Satan a foothold in their lives. We are to draw others to Christ by our behavior instead of away. Our behavior needs to look different from the world around us and cause people to wonder what makes us "set apart" and live lives opposite of the way the world lives, then be prepared to give a defense of our faith when asked.

We are to be keepers at home so we can guard and protect our families from the enemy who  wants to destroy them. We must be vigilant with what they fill their eyes and minds with so we can make sure they are learning Truth instead of lies. We must nourish their bodies and souls so they will be prepared for the spiritual battle they will encounter in the world. We must have homes of peace and order so our families will have a place of refuge from the storm.

We must be good. Satan is bad and everything that is bad comes from him. God is good and everything good comes from Him. We want to look like Jesus. We must hate what is evil and cling to what is good. We must be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil {Romans 16:19}.

We must be obedient to our husbands since God designated them as heads of the home and told them to be the leader. A house united stands while a house divided falls. A house with one in authority stands while a house with two heads falls. God is a God of peace and order, not strife. Strife pushes people away from knowing Jesus. The world is watching.

Therefore, all these commands are to proclaim the Gospel to a lost and fallen world. They aren't simply for our good but for a much more important goal, that of reaching a lost world for Christ and this reaching begins in the home.

Requiring Husbands to Help Around The Home

My mom married my dad when she was 21 years old.  Shortly after I was born, she had to leave her home and family to move to California where my dad was in medical school.  She raised all three of us without any family or help from my dad.  I have heard her admit how difficult it was to leave her family but I never heard her complain about my dad not helping her with the home or children.

We have a ton of appliances and items that make being a homemaker so much easier than women did many years ago.  We have dishwashers, ovens, running water, hot water, vacuums, iron, electricity, lights, etc. that women of long ago didn't have.  My mom had all of these modern conveniences and was very thankful.  What has happened to women today?

I expected Ken to help me around the house and was often mad at him if he didn't.  He was working and traveling many hours and days a year to make a living for our family and I still expected more from him.  Why is that?  How come we expect so much more from our husbands than our mothers and grandmothers did?

I believe it is the feminist movement that has tried to convince us that male and female roles are the same.  Women should help be providers and men should help being keepers at home.  Many women were convinced that working outside the home is more fulfilling, so they left the home and expected their husbands to help pick up the slack of being gone from the home so many hours a day.

God specifically commanded women to be keepers at home and to guide the home.  Men are to be the protectors and providers of the home.  This is His ideal situation.  We must strive towards His ideal because His ways are always best. Yes, the years when the children are young are long and difficult, but God always seems to give us the strength we need for each day and what He has called for us to do.

Now, like I have said before, if your husband helps around the home and with the children, GREAT!  If not, love, serve, and please him any ways and thank him consistently for working so hard for you and your children.  They have to work for many more years than you have to be a mother with children at home.  The early years pass quickly and children want and need a peaceful home where mom and dad love each other deeply.  Work hard giving this to them and be content with your ministry in the home.  It is your high calling from God.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, 

and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

Guarding And Watching Our Homes

"Keeper at home" literally means to guard or watch. In order to guard and watch your home, you must be home. And so, the enemy devised a plan to lure women away from their homes so he could steal, kill and destroy the men, women and children of our culture.

He first gave women a taste of the independence and luxuries of working outside the home during WWII. Feminism came along and convinced them that homemaking was inferior and to cast off the shackles of marriage, child-bearing and housework, making their mark in the masculine realm of the workplace.

Over time, some people, especially those in Christian circles, decided that mothers were needed at home. They figured out they couldn't do it all and marriages and families were falling apart. So some came home. As incomes rose, more and more homes got two automobiles. Once again, moms had a lot of freedom and left the home often to run about here and there.

Children were carted off to after school activities, music lessons, etc. Moms are still seldom at home. Their car becomes their home away from home. As they frantically drive home from all the activities, they grab fast food and they all eat their dinners in front of the TV exhausted or playing with their electronic gadgets.

All the verses referring to wives and mothers in the Bible revolve around activities done in their own homes and caring for their families. Is it possible that God gave these instructions because He knew we were hard-wired in such a way that we require a mostly home-centered life in order to attain to the gentle, quiet, and meek spirit He wants to see in us?

The benefits of being home more are: time for prayer and meditation in God's Word, families eating healthier since we have more time to make meals from scratch, saving money on gas and automobile wear, homes better kept, being more rested and ready to fulfill our "wifely duties" for our husbands, more available to those in need, and our children will be rested, happier, and more relaxed. 

Our homes and our families should receive the lion's share of our time and attention. The last thing in the world the enemy wants is for us to be rested, peaceful, content, and quiet. I think this includes not being involved in a lot of ministries that are outside of your home. When you have children at home, you are to guard and watch your home, even when they are teenagers. Don't listen to the lies of the enemy and society any longer. Listen to God's Word and His plan for you.

For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 

has said, "In repentance and rest you shall be saved, 

in quietness and trust is your strength."

Isaiah 30:15

picture source