
A very popular blogger and writer wrote this about the Pearls years ago, I am not faithfully, unfailingly obedient. I fail...miserably. Often. You know it, Lord. The letters on the screen eddy in pools of tears, testifying. Then why did I ever think our children could be perfectly obedient? 100% of the time? I read and understood: "If he {disobeys}, spring into the room with your little switch and pop him on the bare legs one or two times. No anger on your part - no raised voices. Just make it more pleasant to stay in bed. Never allow him to get his way...Train them right and they will always obey." {NGJ, Vol. 1 pg 7} Always? Unwavering obedience? And if not, were more switches necessary? That seemed to be the Pearl premise.
I found where she quoted from and I am going to give you the context. Michael Pearl said he has seen hundreds of quotes given by him and the majority of them were completely taken out of context or plain wrong. In this illustration, he is painting a picture of a child who will not stay in his bed at bedtime. He is always getting up. One of our children did this very thing and this method worked beautifully for us. It took one long evening to accomplish this but he always stayed in bed after this and fell asleep. He knew he wasn't going to win this battle.
"By your consistency, you will eventually condition the child to always submit to authority. If there is even one area where a child is consistently rebellious, you have a child totally self-willed at heart. If he is allowed to choose the areas of obedience, he is, in fact, never submitted to any authority but his own."
"Rather than harder spankings, I would suggest that you determine to be absolutely consistent. Make sure that he is sleepy, and then put him to bed with a Bible story, a little hugging, and a prayer. Be sure he knows he is to stay in bed. Then do for him as you would want done for you - keep the house quiet so he can sleep. Meanwhile, be very attentive. If he gets up, when his feet hit the floor, spring into the room with your little switch and pop him on the bare let one or two times. No anger on your part - no raised voices. Just make it more pleasant to stay in bed. Never allow him to get his way. One week of consistency on your part will convince him that this business is under new management."
Colossians 3:20 states, Children, obey your parents in ALL things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. What the Pearls teach is exactly what the Bible teaches. God wants our obedience in all things and as we walk with Him we should be looking more like Him. Disobedience blasphemes the Word of God so we must take disobedience and rebellion very seriously in ourselves and in our children!
If you would like to hear the Pearls give a response to the criticisms they have endured, see them interacting in person as a family, talk about their child raising practices and how happy their grown children are, you can watch them HERE. It is absolutely worth your time!
Cynthia · 590 weeks ago
I have found that the tool of consistency alone, without punishment or physical pain, is enough to produce some amazing results. Let me give one example: my family is Sabbath-observant (this is not something that we feel is required for everyone, but it is something that is important in our home). For us, this means that for 24 hours each week, my kids cannot watch TV, use any electronics, write or draw, shop or expect me to drive them anywhere. They are expected to attend services, properly dressed in their best. They are also expected to help prepare the main evening meal, where we often host guests, and are completely responsible for setting the table.
Many modern American college students find it "impossible" to unplug for 24 hours. http://withoutmedia.wordpress.com/ I can assure you that my kids like their devices the rest of the week - but they know when it's time to put them away. It's always been a non-negotiable part of their routine. They don't whine or protest. We found that children as young as 2 or 3 are capable of following a routine like this, and do so quite happily if there is consistency.
On the other hand, I do worry about making things into matters of obedience, and then seeing lack of obedience as "rebelliousness", when the real issue may be something else entirely.
For example, while good sleep habits are important, some children have more difficulty sleeping on their own than others. A child who is otherwise obedient may be fearful of sleeping alone, or have more difficulty falling asleep without assistance, or be more prone to nightmares, or need more reassurance from parents at night. Such a child may seem demanding, but this very issue may be the key to discipline for them. After all, a child who wants more contact with his or her parents is likely to develop a strong bond with them, and to be particularly anxious to please them and follow their example. Even my impossible-to-sleep-train oldest daughter loves to sleep now, since she is a teenager, so it is a developmental stage that ends. The closeness of our relationship, however, is more important now than ever. I want her to be in the habit of cuddling up next to me and pouring her heart out, because it's so important to be an anchor for our children in their teens.
Charlotte · 590 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 590 weeks ago
Tiffany · 590 weeks ago
Karen · 590 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson · 590 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 590 weeks ago
Anna · 590 weeks ago
I have never read the Pearls book. All this fuss about it makes me want to buy it and read it though.
Cynthia Swenson · 590 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 590 weeks ago
Leslie · 590 weeks ago
Blessings,
Leslie
Lori Alexander 122p · 590 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 590 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 590 weeks ago
monicacarson 6p · 589 weeks ago