If you call your child a loser, he will probably end up a loser. If you call your child lazy, they will probably end up lazy. If you call yourself undisciplined, you will stay undisciplined. If you call yourself broken, you will stay broken.
Pastor Jack Graham tells a story about a professional baseball catcher who went to visit inmates at a prison. A prisoner asked him what made him great. Jim Sundburg {the catcher} responded, "My dad...he was the ultimate encourager. When I was little, I had a great arm. I could throw the ball through a wall, but I had a hard time hitting the wall. But instead of jumping on me, my dad encouraged me. I guess I just fulfilled the expectations of my father who believed in me."
A prisoner stood up and said, "Well, I fulfilled my dad's expectations of me too. All he told me my whole life was what a loser I was...how I couldn't do anything right and I'd end up in jail someday."
Proverbs 18:21 states, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it should eat the fruit thereof." What we speak has power to build up or destroy. Steven, my son, was home recently and he told me he never speaks without choosing his words carefully. I can never recall him hurting anybody with his words.
God calls us saints, new creatures, a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. {I Peter 2:9} He tells us we are dead and freed from sin. He calls us many good things once we believe. He never calls us anything negative once we are His child.
If you have noticed that at the end of every post this past week, I have a sentence reminding you who you are in Christ. This is so important if you want to live a godly life for it is God who works powerfully inside of you to do His good pleasure. We are called to encourage one another daily. You are not alone. You have the power of the most holy God living inside of you.
Now He wants you to become an encourager: to your husband, to your children, to your neighbors, to anyone that God puts into your path. Only speak words that build and lift people up for this is what God does for us and wants us to do for others.
***We are no longer called sinners, but saints. God has clothed us with His righteousness and taken us out of the kingdom of darkness so that we might be a light to others.
Danielle · 573 weeks ago
Temberton 56p · 572 weeks ago
Robin J Cox · 573 weeks ago
How do we rebuke in an edifying way? I have never figured this out, it seems. My husband and I have grown "children" who behave very sinfully and clearly are not walking with God. They say they have faith in God, but they are not serving Him at all and have instead swallowed a false gospel that makes them comfortable in their sin ("God loves me no matter how I am - I am just a sinner, after all...we all are. I can do whatever I want and God loves me...so I don't see any need to repent of my sins. After all, God loves homosexuals and lets them do whatever they want...and I'm not THAT bad..., etc.")
When we rebuke them, they see this as destructive and hateful and tell us it's not "Love", when it is loving disciplinary rebuke in an attempt to warn them of the dangerous consequences of their sin before they are swimming in it.
How do we do this in a way that doesn't tear them down?
Loving been his wife · 573 weeks ago
oxo
Lori Alexander 122p · 573 weeks ago
Robin J Cox · 573 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 573 weeks ago
Robin J Cox · 573 weeks ago
Sometimes this partner also starts fights with our adult child in our home, which my husband quickly and firmly, but lovingly confronted. It was not received well by the partner.
My husband tries to love on the partner though, and is hospitable and kind to this person, while keeping firm boundaries around our smaller children. He tries to bless this person with things that they enjoy, as well, even if we don't usually enjoy these things (Cheetos, etc.) He tells this person the truth if they ask him, as do I.
I pray for all our children continually. I will persevere. I believe they belong to the Lord.
The other older one is married to a pagan. This marriage partner smokes marijuana and encourages our child to smoke as well. It is very sad. We realize that some of this is a consequence of us not being saved until well into our thirties. Our hearts break for our children. Our own marriage is not fully where we would like it, either, but we do have faith that God wants to redeem our lives and those of our grown children.
Robin J Cox · 573 weeks ago
Ken · 573 weeks ago
God is a loving Father who will forgive a multitudes of sins that come from struggles to be obedient, but for those who give up the struggle and yet claim the blood of Christ they should be challenged to answer the question of their own salvation or are they ready for God's discipline.
I might focus more on these two broader issues as opposed to the individual sins. If the answer is that "I am saved" then you have a starting point from which to work. Again, do not focus on the behavior but start showing them who they are in Christ Jesus. Agree with them that they are saved and then teach them Romans 6 & 8 and explained that they have gotten stuck, as so many other believers, in Romans 7. That they were never intended to stay in a battle between their flesh and new life, but instead must decide some day to step out in the same faith that saved them to begin to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. To consider the flesh dead, and that they now are alive to God through Christ Jesus.
If they say, "Well then I a not saved" then stop treating them as a believer. Understand that they are bound to sin and that nothing you say to them can break them of sins bonds. That they must first take on their faith in Christ in a real way and accept Him as Lord of their life or they cannot move from a sinful life to a life abundant and free.
To unbelievers we must love them fully and shine the life of Christ to them. We pray that they find Jesus in a real way and we witness to them given the opportunity, but in a loving and none offensive way. When one loves their unsaved child without condemnation, but making sure they know that you will not believe they are saved until their relationship with sin changes, you can pray for an opening where the consequences of sin in their life allows you to lead them to the Lord for real.
Both approaches require lots of love and understanding. Lots of shining God's joy, happiness and love to those who who need him so desperately. And tell them exactly what you are doing. "I am trusting God that He can give me the desires of my heart and you kids will come to a full knowledge of Him so that He can indwell you fully and your desire for sin will pale compared to your love for Jesus."
It is heartbreaking to have such a situation, but remember that God has you their right now to shine Jesus to your family. Will He be most shined by anger, disappointment and condemnation, or the love of Jesus shining in and through you. Speak the truth with a smile and with a caring and broken mother's heart, but always let them know that "nothing they can ever do will keep you from loving them." That's your job, that is what God has called you to.
And you are in our prayers that the God of the universe who lives inside of you will give you the strength to do these things.
Robin J Cox · 573 weeks ago
Temberton 56p · 573 weeks ago
Danielle · 573 weeks ago
Cynthia · 573 weeks ago
I know I've mentioned before that my discipline philosophy is not focused on punishment. This is part of the reason. Instead of focusing on seeing defiance or evil in my children, I want to train myself to see the good in them, and encourage it. Our children learn to see themselves as we see them. If they do need the occasional correction, sometimes it's effective to say, "I'm surprised at your your behavior, since you are normally so kind/generous/considerate, etc. This seems out of character and frankly unworthy of you. What's going on?"
Spouses may also come to see themselves as we see them. Are we too quick to label a spouse as difficult or unloving? Can we look at things from their POV, and get a different perspective? Can we train ourselves to focus on their good traits, and see the good inside their soul?
Linda@Creekside · 572 weeks ago
;-}
asheritah 1p · 572 weeks ago
lauraboggess 49p · 572 weeks ago
elizabethfstewart 38p · 572 weeks ago
hisfirefly 20p · 572 weeks ago
our words and thoughts have power
the power of life or death
speak life!