Always Learning: Getting Married At 18?

Friday, April 4, 2014

Getting Married At 18?

Jessa Duggar is 21 years old and she is courting Ben Seewald who is only 18. He is attending a community college and repairs windshields. Bob Duggar remarked on his show that they would probably hear wedding bells in a few months!

I love the Duggars! They live so opposite of what society teaches. They know marriage is a good thing and raised their children to desire marriage and children. Age and financial stability don't seem a big issue to them. Should we really care if they both have deep roots in Jesus and are willing to work hard? They know they worship a big God who calms the sea, calls every star by name, and has the whole world in His hands.

Their lives portray a completely opposite story compared to the rest of the shows on television. Michelle and Bob Duggar lived in a tiny home years ago with only a few bedrooms and many small children. They were very content and pursued God and His ways passionately. They are raising amazing children who trust God completely with their lives and futures.

I love how Michelle says that she mostly encourages her children. Whenever she sees them doing anything good, she tells them. She speaks quietly, loves her husband, and almost always has a smile on her face. She is a wonderful role model to those who desire to live godly lives.

The whole family is a great role model for many who have been desensitized to the ways of God and have never had good role models to follow. The Duggars take the Word of God literally and want to live their lives joyfully in submission to His will. They go around loving people, doing good, and trusting Him. This is something all of us who call ourselves Christians should determine to follow.

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another. Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.

Romans 12:9-12

***Remember, you are a new creature IN CHRIST,

covered by His grace and mercy, and walk in newness of life!

Comments (46)

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Loving been his wife · 573 weeks ago

Are you allowed by law to marry that young in the USA?

5 replies · active 570 weeks ago

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Brit · 573 weeks ago

I can't say enough good thing about their family! Michelle is my role model as a wife and mom. They are just an amazing example, and I loved how sweet their last show is. I want to buy it do I can show my kids someday an example of a courtship that is opposite of the world ways. I love how all the girls understand that the guy has to date their dad first, and the main reason is to protect their heart from hurt. Jessa and Ben are so sweet together. I will say that I'm sure Jessa will be bringing money into the marriage. Her and her sisters have a NYT bestseller book that I'm sure the girls are saving money from. What a blessing it will be for them!

2 replies · active 573 weeks ago

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Cynthia · 573 weeks ago

I like what you said about Michelle's style of encouraging children by noticing when they do anything good. I've found that this is so much more effective and creates a far more peaceful home than focusing on punishment.

Brit makes a good point that Jessa is lucky, since she likely has some money from the show and the book. The financial realities for other young couples may be very different. Yes, you can marry young. Yes, it's possible to have a large family and not rely on birth control. Yes, you can decide to live on one income. Yes, you can live independent of parental or government support. The question is whether it's possible to do ALL of those things. For many young people who do not have the same financial resources, there will be choices that they have to make.

2 replies · active 571 weeks ago

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Leslie · 573 weeks ago

Lori, I love them, too! They are terrific role models indeed, and genuinely filled with Christ's love. My mom married at 17(!) and I at 20. My parents have been married almost 34 years, and us almost 10!! It's all because of asking God to be the third chord in our relationship, and because we know a lasting marriage takes work along with honest love. Most of our friends decided to wait several years after us to marry. Even though at the time we had hardly any money at all we were so very happy together! Now, my husband is a pediatric resident--and yes we were married all through his schooling-- and we have two children we love to bits and pieces, that we adopted last year!! God is faithful and good to provide everything.... even children! I know not everyone chooses this route of early marriage and that's ok, but I love seeing people put family first! :)
Blessings,
Leslie

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cassie · 573 weeks ago

I am greatly encouraged by them too! It hit me that Michelle never yells, it made me rethink the way I parent. When I miscarried it wasn't long after she did, and she witnessed to me, how we should honour God even in our sadness. Of course I know this already, but it was good to see it in action. May the Lord continue to bless them all, and keep them.

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Tiffany · 573 weeks ago

I love the Duggars. Michelle is so calm and soft spoken to her children, I love that example. I can't even imagine her losing her temper. I think their show is a breath of fresh air among all the trashy shows on TV. My 6 year old son loves to watch once in a while, I think he wishes he lived out in the country with a bunch of brothers like all those little Duggar boys! :)

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Courtney · 573 weeks ago

I find the Duggar family fascinating, and I'm really looking forward to watching this season with the two courtships. I'm really curious about the whole saving the first kiss for marriage thing! The other day, I was trying to imagine what it would be like to have your first kiss and "sexual debut" on the same day… it honestly seems like it could be overwhelming or even traumatizing for some couples. What if one of them isn't ready for everything? Especially if it's the wife who believes in submission, I'd imagine she wouldn't feel it was ok to "deny" her husband on their wedding night. Do you have any thoughts about this? Do you know anyone who saved their first kiss for their wedding day?

12 replies · active 525 weeks ago

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Chris · 573 weeks ago

We saved our first kiss for our wedding day. It was not any kind of hindrance in any way.

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Amy · 573 weeks ago

I’m not opposed to people marrying young, but I will not encourage our daughters to marry at a young age. I want them to take their late teens/early 20’s to go to college, travel, learn about the world, learn about themselves, etc. Marriage is wonderful, but with it comes a shift in priorities. I’m blessed to have gotten married at 24. I had a college degree, traveled with friends, and had adventures. I felt completely ready to marry and start a family. I had lived a little and had a better sense of who I was…

2 replies · active 571 weeks ago

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deeprootsathome 8p · 573 weeks ago

What a delight to read the comments on this post! I am thankful for the Duggars and the godly example they set, though I am sure they are far from perfect.

Ha! I was going to post something on this sweet relationship between Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald, but you beat me to it!

I have been wanting to stop by to say 'Hello'. I'm sorry I haven't been over to visit for a while and have missed catching up on your blog :) I'm praying for you, friend, and hoping you are doing well in the Lord.

The sunshine is streaming in the windows to my right, and I think spring is really finally here. Have a great week!

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Melissa · 572 weeks ago

We enjoy there show and thankful for the godly examples. I believe at any age we marry we should seek the Lord in it all. Thanks for the encouragement!

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Beth · 572 weeks ago

My husband and I married when I was 17, and he was 19. We have 5 children, and have been married for 16 years!! We just keep getting happier and happier, and fall even more in love with each other as time goes by.
I did not go to college, and when our first daughter was born, I quit working to be a full-time homemaker. I love my life, and I would not go back and change a thing. I think that there is way too much pressure on our children for them to go to college, travel, make money, etc. To "enjoy life when they are young." But I believe that there is nothing more fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
I love the Duggar family. They are such a breath of fresh air! I wish Jessa and Ben all the best in their life together.

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randomlyrachels 64p · 572 weeks ago

I got married at 19 and I did go to college--as other commenters have been talking about how education can be important, I thought I'd mention that it's possible. I was a Junior in college when I was 19 and was able to finish my bachelor's in the first year. I think it's a blessing to find your spouse at a young age--though it's possibly more unusual to find young men who are ready and willing to commit to providing for a family while still in their teens.

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Blessings! · 572 weeks ago

An interesting thought to be sure. I graduated high school at 18 got married at 19 and my husband is older than me. We have seen many others try the same thing and have divorced, but we have the Lord as our guide and strong hold and He is why we are able to have shared 15 years together now. I met him when I was 15. *smile* Without the Lord merriage at any age is an interesting thing, but with God ... ... it's amazing to see how He works and grows the two completely different people together to do fantastic things on this earth. *smile* Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!

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Laura Lane · 572 weeks ago

I wish my husband and I had married younger.
Blessings,
Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

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@SimplySaidMom · 572 weeks ago

Joining you from the Wise Woman link-up. I have been following the Duggars for many years now and I enjoy watching them grow and walk life together. This seems an exciting next chapter for the girls - can't wait to see wedding news! http://thesimplysaidmom.blogspot.com/2014/04/wwfm...

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Gillian · 572 weeks ago

I love the values and characters of the Duggar family. I wish I could watch their show more often but we do not have t.v. - so I wait for dvds from friends. :) But yes, Michelle Duggar is an amazing mom, and her godly example is one to be noticed. They are a wonderful family, shedding light in a dark world!

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Janet Westrup · 572 weeks ago

I've watched a few of the Duggar shows on television and love every moment of them. Jim Bob and Michele show the Lord's love in action and I congratulate Jessa and Ben. They are wise beyond their years.
My husband and I married when I was 18 and he was 20yrs. old, right after high school and just celebrated our 45 wedding anniversary. He went on to college after his military service of 6yrs. I took a year of college and decided it wasn't for me. We still love one another and are best friends. Probably more so now. He's a wonderful man. We have two children, three grandchildren and soon to be 5 great grandchildren.
Marrying young has given us many years of strength and we are still young and strong enough to play with and help the grands and great grand children. Plus we are taking care of one of our still living 5 parents and their spouses.
Anyone can get an education with all the technologies of today., and not rack up debt for a lifetime. Learn to be wise with money, make wise decisions about housing, food and clothing, learn all you can, teach your children about God's precepts and keep God first in your life. He will bless you because God is good and he loves you.
Blessings, Janet Westrup.

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Janet Westrup · 572 weeks ago

Also learn to be content with food, modest clothing and a roof over your head. Its silly to get yourself into debt and spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Janet Westrup.

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callista83 83p · 571 weeks ago

I think it's interesting to see the way they do things as it IS so different from my own. We are not a religious family for starters and I can't see following the rules they do for my own family but I do appreciate the way they value finding a real compatible spouse and taking some time to get to know each other and each others families well before marrying.

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Clarissa · 571 weeks ago

I was 17 and my husband was 22 when married... celebrating 12 years this year and expecting our 8th child next month!! I have to say, without Jesus, I'm not sure we would've made it... but we've only grown closer and stronger over the years... even with a fully disabled terminally ill child AND the death of our 5th child, both things that statistics claim cause divorce! .... all glory to God!!

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Madeleine · 571 weeks ago

I love how the Duggard's place God first in making all their decisions. Getting married as young as their children are may not be society's norm, but I'm sure God will play a big part in their decision to marry, which I think is the most important. I believe the question of when, who, and where should I marry should definitely be made with God, regardless of society's norms. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/03/the-right-time...

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Catherine · 570 weeks ago

I love the Duggars too.I also got married at age 17.It was a good thing in my opinion.We are married for almost 20 years by now and were blessed with 4 children on earth and 2 in heaven.
Marrying at a young age is a good way to protect yourself from sins.

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