Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Going to Bible Study Doesn't Make You a Godly Woman


If going to Bible Studies made women godly, I would have been godly from the time I got married. I almost always was involved in a Bible study and even was a group leader at times. I thought I was a godly woman but I wasn't. God tells us that a godly woman has a meek and quiet spirit and adorns herself by being in subjection to her husband. I failed the test big time and so do many other women.

I taught Bible studies when I was young but it wasn't until I began teaching Created to Be His Help Meet that I knew I was right where God wanted me to be. Women hungered for this teaching; they still do because they know it is right and good. I have seen too many women who are faithful in attending Bible Study, seminars, counseling, and retreats, yet treat their husbands with contempt. The blame lies in the churches of today, namely the older women in the churches. Yes, preachers should be preaching this and some do but way too few. I don't hear many famous women teachers and "preachers" teaching other women what matters to God either. 

God has made it abundantly clear in His Word what He wants women being taught. He wants them to be taught to be sober, love and obey their husband, love their children, be chaste, discreet, and keepers at home. There is no guessing game about this. I don't see going to Bible Studies in this list or anywhere in God's Word. Yes, He wants His Word to dwell in us richly but He cares way more about our obedience than going to a Bible Study yet failing to do what He commands women to do.

I am not against Bible Studies but all Bible Studies and teaching for women should clearly teach Titus 2:3-5. Women wouldn't be so lost and looking for fulfillment and meaning in all the wrong places if this was consistently taught. Marriages would be stronger. Children would be more loved and secure having their mothers home full-time with them. Women would dress modestly and act discreetly. These are all things that today's Christian women should be taught in the churches and from all women who teach the Word.

What good is teaching the Word if women are in rebellion to their husbands, have rebellious children, and empty homes? It's meaningless because there are too many women blaspheming the Word by disregarding these important commands that are the building blocks of any family and church. If you aren't being taught in your church, gather a few of the women together in your home, even if it is once a month, and begin teaching them Created to Be His Help Meet. When you teach it, you become more and more convicted about all of it since you must be a model to those you teach. This is good and way more important than any Bible Study you might attend.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

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Anonymous 2's avatar

Anonymous 2 · 460 weeks ago

Excellent post! Over the years, I went with small children to Women Bible Studies! After awhile, I realized I can do more at home, with learning the word. I also realized it was more peaceful to stay at home with children, than packing them up and hurry out the door. Sometimes, I found the Bible studies to be only surface material, nothing in depth, thus wasting my time.

Living a simple slow pace life at home, is the best there is for a family. I had to experience this before I realized what works and doesn't work. I always heard it said, if you are at home all day you have to get out. Really! I can fine lots to do and be content at home. I do enjoy my once a week errand day. After, that day though I am glad to be back home.

Amen, to the part that you don't become more godly going to Bible Studies. I think their is a lot of peer pressure if you are a stay at home mom to attend these. '
2 replies · active 460 weeks ago
Excellent comment! :) I agree with you. Most of the Bible Studies today seem to be studying some of these popular female preachers' and teachers' materials who teach some things that aren't biblically correct and they have no thought or problem at all about standing behind a pulpit and having men in the audience. No thank you.
"Living a simple slow pace life at home, is the best there is for a family".

This is so true!! I think that kids today can do with WAY less running around than what they are subjected to. If your home is a peaceful and nurturing haven, you won't want to be running all over the place when you can be at home!
I have to respectfully disagree with view on Women's Bible Studies. I don't know of any church group where women speak ill of their husbands. My experience has been that women who are struggling have a community of sisters in Christ to lift them up and pray for them. My Bible study has been wonderful. It has encouraged my faith and walk with the Lord. There is nothing like having a group that you can study. Pray and grow with.
1 reply · active 460 weeks ago
Who said anything about "speaking ill of their husbands," Mary? I couldn't find that mentioned in the post or the comment above. I encourage you to read my post again.
You're welcome, Alisha, and I did indeed think I was so much more spiritual than Ken for many years and I let him know it. Looking back, it was terrible. Just my critical nature towards him was so ungodly and destructive. Praise God for His transforming power!
I completely agree with your title, "Going to Bible study doesn't make you a godly woman," so I was attracted to this article. But I must respectfully caution you on three points:
1. Book studies are not Bible studies. If your group is studying "Created to be His Helpmeet," that's not a Bible study. There's a huge difference, even if the book includes much Scripture. We're talking about totally different authors, and the Bible is the only book that is 100% true. Which is why a *BIble* study (Bible only) is the most important study (of any kind) one could attend. No book could ever surpass it.
2. Therefore, I would be very hesitant to promote a book (any book) to the extent that you're promoting "Created to be His Helpmeet." I would never give a fallible, human author that much credit.
3. The Titus passage of which you so strongly speak is not the most important passage in the Bible for women or anyone else. There are no passages more important than others. All Christians should study and think deeply about ALL of Scripture. The Titus passage should not be neglected, I agree, but it should also not be held above other passages. Even a passage of Scripture can become a god.
Having said all of that, I do agree that even going to a *Bible* study (Bible only) does not make anyone godly. Godliness comes from hearing the Word and doing what is says. And, ultimately, godliness comes from God himself. Nothing we do or don't do makes us godly, apart from his power working in us.
12 replies · active 460 weeks ago
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HappyHomemaker · 460 weeks ago

I get what you are saying about the "Bible" study, but I second and will always recommend Created to be His Helpmeet--- not because I think Debi Pearl has some special insight into the word of God, exactly the opposite actually, it's because it pointed me to scripture so that I could see for myself what God's word says. I had always had people tell me that since my husband isn't saved, well those passages don't apply to me and that I was to take the spiritual lead in the family. To have someone show me the scripture of a woman's role and not try to change what it meant, to point me to the verses and not use "original greek language" or "culture at the time" and explain why it doesn't mean what it says, well that was the day I decided to find out for myself what the Bible says my role is. So I will always be grateful that the book pointed me to the Bible.

Also, no the Titus passage isn't the most important, but I think (I'm not Lori, so I am only guessing at this) that Lori takes the passage seriously in that it says the aged women are to teach the younger women. I personally find it refreshing to come to this blog and read something by someone that isn't trying to convince me that what the Bible says isn't true about submission ect...
Thank you, Happy Homemaker! I will forever be grateful for Debi Pearl as well and I do take God's command to me very seriously. I am thankful He has given me this ministry and actually, He has given it to all older women.
I'm not sure what you mean by using "original Greek language." Much of the Bible was originally written in Greek. To translate it into a language we can read (English for us), some of the original meaning is lost, so we must look back to the original language to truly understand the true meaning. Is that what you're referring to? I would see it as dangerous to rely on simply the English meaning of the words as we understand them today. Christians even just centuries ago would see those same words differently because words change with time. Not to mention, the translators are fallible. The original authors were inspired by the Holy Spirit - the translators were not. So we certainly can't trust our English versions 100%. Though if we can't read Hebrew/Greek, that may be all we can depend on. Anyway, I was confused by your statement regarding the Greek.

I certainly take the Titus passage seriously, and perhaps interpret it much like Lori would. I was just concerned that she was so focused on it that she was missing the rest of Scripture. But thanks for your feedback!
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HappyHomemaker · 460 weeks ago

What I am referring to when I say "original Greek language" is that some people have tried to explain to me why the Bible doesn't actually mean what it says because in the original Greek language, there was no word for (fill in the blank, I've heard many). However, I will say that I do solely rely on the KJV, I always have and until God shows me (in scripture) otherwise, I always will. I don't know Greek, so I have to rely on the best version of the Bible that I know of and for me, that is the KJV.

I know myself well enough to know that there have been times in my life that I would read a book or do a Bible study and would listen to people when they said that submission or usurping authority or any number of things didn't apply to today. I even listened when I was told that I didn't have to obey my husband because he wasn't saved, so I took that liberty to rebel against him and justified myself by saying "well, he's not a Christian, so it's ok" I was wrong, very wrong. One day it dawns on me that the following verses don't say as long as he is a believer, it just says to submit.

Col 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

Eph 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

But this verse does deal with an unbelieving husband and it says the same thing, that I am to submit.

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives

For many years, I was told by some teachers and preachers that I was to be the spiritual head of our house and it was ok to disobey my husband and not submit to him as long as I "felt" like God was leading me to. Once I stopped all this nonsense and took my role as it is written, I found out something, if I feel like God is calling me to do something and my husband doesn't want me to, my God is big enough to change my husbands mind on the matter. If God doesn't change his mind, then I do as I am told and obey my husband. I have found that lots and lots of times (for me at least) that I was so emotional about something and couldn't see the situation clearly and had my husband allowed me to do as I felt "led" to do, things would have turned out not so good.

Sorry this is so long, I got to typing and couldn't stop :)
Hi lborengasser, Here are my responses to your 3 points:

1. I didn't say that studying Created to Be His Help Meet was a Bible Study or in place of a Bible study. It's simply studying a book.

2. I promote it since it was the book that was the catalyst to changing my marriage and many others. I had read MANY Christian books before I read this one and not one convicted me like this one did.

3. I never said it was the most important passage in the Bible for women but without it being taught, marriages have crumbled. I wrote, "This is good and way more important than any Bible Study you might attend." God wants women to be submissive to their husbands and all the characteristics in Titus 2:3-5. If these are important to God, these should be important to us. We should be learning the Word from male preachers and teachers and from time in the Word ourselves. If you have read my blog for anytime at all, you will know I teach this over and over again.

I completely agree with your last paragraph and again, if you have read my blog, you would know this about me. We are the righteousness of God because of what Christ did for us! I speak about being "in Christ" and His power working mightily within us very often!
Interesting. Well I must say your articles are very misleading then, because I have come to very different conclusions than your intention. The statement, "This is good and way more important than any Bible study you might attend," tells me, by pure logic and grammatical presentation, that you see a study of "Created to Be His Help Meet" to be a Bible study, and as more important than any other Bible study. And your emphasis on Titus 2 seems to be very unhealthy, in my opinion. I dare say, women can get that passage right all day long, but if they're not searching the whole Bible and seeking to obey all of it, their devotion to Titus 2 doesn't get very far and is, at best, completely misinterpreted (Scripture helps us to interpret Scripture, so we need it all!).

Really, I sincerely encourage you to write broadly (covering many Scripture passages) and to point people to the Word, not your personal view of it. Thanks for considering my recommendation. I am simply concerned for you and your blog and your many readers! :)
This is what my entire blog is for; to teach younger women to love and obey their husband, to love their children, to be chaste, sober, good, and keepers at home. This is what God has commanded me to teach younger women. I teach from many sources and not only CTBHH. I use quotes from many people, Ken writes some posts, and I have guest posters. I just finished the study on Romans 6-8 by Michael Pearl. I am teaching exactly what God wants me to teach so this is what I will teach. They can learn the whole of Scripture at church on Sunday or many great male Bible teachers and preachers since this is the ministry God has given them.
Ah, I see. So when you say women should teach what Titus 2 presents, you're saying that's *exclusively* what women should teach. If so, may I ask where you get that idea?
I try very hard to get all of my "ideas" from the Word of God. Here are some of my latests posts on this topic.
http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/05/should-...
http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/05/be-care...
The passage about women not having authority over a man (1 Tim 2:12)? That is not in the context of the church (believers), but in the context of the local church gathering (body of believers gathering as one). There's a big difference, and one which I think is crucial in understanding its proper application.

Outside of that context, I see nowhere in Scripture where women should not teach the Word of God.

As a side note, I would never consider my blogging "teaching." I write to encourage people (men and women alike) to read the Bible for themselves. Tips regarding what helps and what doesn't. And questions regarding specific passages to make people think. I rarely, if ever, post strong conclusions or use persuasive speech as though I want people to listen to *me* or believe in what *I* say. Because my whole purpose in writing is to thrust people back into the Word. I may be wrong about any given idea from Scripture. But Scripture is never wrong. So if I can send people there, I've done my job. And I would do the same if I were writing about Titus 2 (which I have!).

Anyway, my hesitancy regarding a focus on Titus 2 (besides the fact that I think its unbiblical!) is that women can easily misinterpret that passage if they don't have the lens of the entire Bible at their disposal. If we focus on one detail, we'll never see the big picture. There is so much more for women to teach women than what even the entirety of Titus presents. And we'll never interpret Titus 2 properly if we don't spend just as much time reading, studying, writing about, and promoting the rest of the Word.
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 460 weeks ago

Why would focusing on Titus 2 be unbiblical? Titus 2 specifically says that the aged are to teach the younger, so why would Lori's focus on Titus 2 be unbiblical? I will never understand WHY it bothers people so much that her focus is on what the Bible calls her to teach? If you don't agree with it, fine, that is your opinion, but to call it unbiblical?

In your third paragraph you talk about pointing people back to the word, most posts I have read here do exactly that. So, again I am not seeing the problem. You also point out that you don't consider yourself "teaching" on your blog, so why would you consider this blog "teaching" then? Because she focuses on the verse that has the word teach in it? Whether you like it or not, if you have scripture on your blog and then post about it, you are doing the same thing, call it whatever you like.

Out of curiosity, how long have you been reading this blog?
Keep in context that the woman was created as the help meet, that godly women of old look to their husband as lord, and the woman glorifies the man and the man glorifies God. The man is charge to live out the word with the woman had his side; how does she do this? by her specifically identified command in Titus 2. Women should not think they put forth the gospel in any other primary way otherwise they begin to lead and take the glory. I consistently see Lori try to do it in the primary fashion of fulfilling Titus 2 and its closely supporting scripture.
I have been to enough Bible studies to last a lifetime. During the discussions afterward, the women joked about leaving their houses a mess to attend and not having anything for dinner prepared for a hardworking husband who walks in the door hungry! It almost offended me because I thought they chose very unwisely. A husband has a hard time getting on to his wife for trying to "learn more about God" and yet he knows that he has been slighted...again.

Incidentally, so much of the teaching at that time was about modest dress (skirts that touched the ground..) while the women were easily 100 pounds over weight. That comment relates more to the post on your God being your belly... Hard to teach the whole truth and definitely requires Gods grace to live it.
1 reply · active 460 weeks ago
It sure does, Anne, but this is what God's wonderful grace allows us to do; be transformed! For some reason, I never felt that any Bible Study I ever attended changed me in the least. To come home and be so unkind to my own husband was hypocrisy at its best. Thankfully, I have learned the truth of my role and it has been an incredible journey and blessing.
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 460 weeks ago

I don't mind a Bible study if that is what we are truly doing, but from my experience sometimes the study and prayer group were used as an excuse to air dirty laundry in the guise of "asking for prayer". Where I am, there are not many women who believe a woman should be submissive, obey her husband, be a keeper at home. It gets frustrating, but at least this blog as well as a couple others remind me that I am not alone.
1 reply · active 460 weeks ago
You sure are not alone, HappyHomemaker. God promises us that there will always be a remnant who is committed to serving Him, thankfully!
Going to a bible study group can be very helpful for some women and certainly has many positives. It would appear from the comments above that some have had a bad experience, but that doesn't mean they are bad for others and women shouldn't be discouraged from attending, they just need to find one they are comfortable with - many ladies I know have found them very beneficial. Attending a bible study should never be about fulfilment, its about learning and going deeper into the bible (the entire bible, not just bits).

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