Friday, June 17, 2016

If He Had an Affair = Divorce?

When I was young, I was sure I would divorce Ken if he ever had an affair. Now, I know what a HUGE mistake it would have been.

1. Bitterness defiles many and bitterness is always deeply embedded in divorced couples. This bitterness would have defiled my children too. {Hebrews 12:15} We are commanded to forgive others 70 X 7 times and I would have failed to do this with him.

2. Our children wouldn't have grown up with a mother and father in the same home. They would have been shuffled between his house and my house. There would have been no "home" for my children.

3. I would have failed to "bear all things, endure all things" and many other commands from 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter.

4. I would have torn asunder our one flesh marriage and failed to win him without a word with a meek and quiet spirit {1 Peter 3:1-6}. This is what God's solution is for wives with disobedient husbands.

5. I would have missed the blessings of growing older with him, enjoying family gatherings, and celebrating thirty five years of marriage to one man! I would have missed the empty nest with him and being able to enjoy our lives together instead of being alone.

6. I probably wouldn't have four secure, joyful children who are very happily married and all walking in Truth.

7. I would have had to get a job, leave my home, and have all the exhaustion that comes from this besides having others raise my children. 

It would have been terrible! Thankfully, he has never had an affair but I have seen too many women restore their marriages to their disobedient husbands and be so thankful that they did. They are bearing fruit for being a vow keeper even when it was very difficult and heartbreaking. God doesn't say our lives will be easy down here but if we do things His way, we will reap His wonderful blessings.

I wouldn't have this amazing photo with two little ones who are making an appearance VERY soon!


Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 
Love NEVER fails.
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Posted by Always Learning at 6:00 AM
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Ashley's avatar

Ashley · 458 weeks ago

I was thinking about this yesterday and how I'm hoping, against all odds, that my parents may reunite someday. Sometimes hope hurts, but I know God is capable.
1 reply · active 458 weeks ago
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Jessica's avatar

Jessica · 458 weeks ago

Beautiful family!! Who is who? Which ones are your kids? They are all so beautiful, I'm sure inside just as much as out!
2 replies · active 457 weeks ago
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Ken's avatar

Ken · 458 weeks ago

I am glad you stuck with me babes! And no affairs for this boy... I love you and the Lord too much for that! We sure are blessed doing things God's ways.
3 replies · active 458 weeks ago
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HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 458 weeks ago

Several years ago, I thought that having an affair would be the ultimate betrayal and I would probably never be able to forgive that, but that wasn't the only thing that I thought "wrong" about. I hope I never have to find out what I would do.
2 replies · active 458 weeks ago
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Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 458 weeks ago

Good post and good reasons proving that obeying the Lord is never in vain.

I know I've said this before, but your family is absolutely lovely. Congratulations on the soon-to-be-here grandbabies! Sounds like the Lord is bringing yet another quiver full to pass. :-)
1 reply · active 458 weeks ago
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Anne's avatar

Anne · 458 weeks ago

This is a little off topic, but you often blog about God's command that wives win their husbands "without a word". The text from I Peter is as follows: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives."

This does not say "without A word," but without THE word. As in, the word of the Lord. To me, the passage clearly is saying that that if a husband does not obey the Word of the Lord e.g is not a Christian), that husbands may be won "by the conversation of the wives" without the use of the Word of the Lord. In other words, a good wife can win her husband over to the Lord with her well-thought-out conversation, when studying the Word of the Lord has no impact on the unbeliever.

Please explain your interpretation that this is supposed to say women are to win their husbands without a word, as opposed to without the Word of the Lord. I am honestly curious - the text of the passage seems plain to me.
5 replies · active 458 weeks ago
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Marie's avatar

Marie · 458 weeks ago

Unfortunately my husband was sinning and moved out. Nothing I did has brought him home. It's been 4 months and I can't see him coming home. He has moved on with the woman he was talking and texting. I have turned it over to God and pray for him but I can't change him. No matter what I say or how well I look if I see him. He doesn't want me anymore. He has said he doesn't love me. 25 years of marriage. Poof!
3 replies · active 458 weeks ago
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Audra's avatar

Audra · 458 weeks ago

This is such a great blog Lori, thank you! My husband had an affair when our daughter was 1 (she's 7 now) and it's what the Lord used to bring him to his salvation! It's by Gods grace alone that I kept my composure and never retaliated. I believe it had a massive influence on my husband coming to Christ. I must say, after another child and almost 9 years of marriage, I'm more in love with him now then I could ever imagine!!
1 reply · active 458 weeks ago
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Anon M's avatar

Anon M · 458 weeks ago

I had an affair and our marriage was headed for divorce court. We had actually started proceedings. But God knocked some sense into me and we have been back together for about 11 years now and had 8 more children. My husbands Christian lawyers ( what an oxymoron that is!) said that we were the first couple on their company's history to reconcile. And their company had gone thru at least 2 generations of family! (It was a family based business)
1 reply · active 458 weeks ago
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Susan's avatar

Susan · 458 weeks ago

The sad thing is that if a man wants to leave you for another women - you sometimes don't have a choice. After praying - praying - praying, asking for counseling, seeking pastoral intervention, inviting him to return - my husband still divorced me for his 10 year younger mistress. Eventually I forgave him - the Lord sent me a wonderful, kind, gentle believing man and we were married 4 years later. His children joined my children and we raised them together and have been very happy for the past 25 years. However good the Lord has been to us - we know that our children still suffered from our divorces - it is still difficult when we must see that other previous spouse at weddings, baptisms, etc. Divorce is never the answer - but some spouses did not give us an option. I continue to recommend Created to be His Helpmeet to other women. Bless you always and never take a good marriage for granted.
3 replies · active 457 weeks ago

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