This chapter is one of the reasons this book gets so many negative reviews. The Pearls teach spanking. I bet those who are hateful towards the Pearls have never read this book. I have read a couple blogs whose purpose was to destroy the Pearls. Those who write are full of bitterness and hate. It's shameful since the Pearls make it very clear about the boundaries when using spanking and how God has commanded parents to use the rod, since there are many parents who abuse it and do intend to harm their children with it. In bold letters they write "if you inherited your father's anger, then by all means do not spank" and to use love as your motivation for spanking. "Keep in mind, no amount of spanking can train a child who does not feel safe and cherished." Any parent who beats their children are wicked, evil parents. For some to blame this wicked behavior on the Pearls is wrong as they make it clear to never spank in anger or harm the child. Some states no longer allow parents to spank, or must do so using only an open hand. Make sure you know what your state allows. {I really hate governments interfering with how parents raise their children as if they know better than the majority of parents. A few awful parents ruin it for the many good ones.}
Children that are properly spanked in a context of love and goodwill are purged of their ugliness and become lovely in the sight of adults who then dote on them, brag on what "good kids they are," and take great pleasure in their presence. So which is better: to make them happy with properly ordered discipline or to leave them miserable and rejected with empty threats and criticism?* We saw this as we were raising our children. Our children exhibited some ugliness at a very young age as most children do. Temper tantrums are ugly regardless of the age of the person throwing them, especially when adults throw them. We dealt with our children swiftly, firmly and with the least amount of spanking necessary so that our children knew temper tantrums would not be tolerated in our home. We also saw parents pamper their children, not wanting to discipline them. Unfortunately, some of these children grew up to have little self-control and discipline. It is hard to lead a joyful and successful life when you have never learned to control your stubborn self-will.
You may feel that love prevents you from applying corporal chastisement. But there are millions of parents who testify that love is what motivates them to spank their children, and their children interpret it as love. The God who made little children and therefore knows what is best for them has instructed parents to employ the "rod" in training up their children.* Mothers tell me that they could never spank their children because they "love them too much." I never have understood this reasoning because I loved my children but I didn't want them to be rebellious. I wanted them to be able to control themselves and be a joy for their teachers, coaches, bosses, and friends. Teaching them discipline and self-control is the most loving thing you can do for your children.
If you choose not to accept the Biblical precept, "spare the rod and spoil the child," at least find the intent of teaching self-control and discipline to your children at a very young age with other means. Children who are well disciplined in a loving, but firm manner, grow up to be more successful and secure in life. All of life's successes require learning to control one's thoughts and actions. Spanking with a few swats at a young age is an efficient and effective way of communicating with a child who cannot reason between what behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable. By the age of three, our children obeyed our voices and quickly surrendered their stubborn wills, knowing that Mom and Dad would win if they wanted to test us. Rarely did we have to spank past three, maybe four years old, because they learned to obey us early on. It is always best to win the battles at the youngest ages possible, instead of dealing with the unbridled wills of teenagers. No marks, no bruises, no lasting memories, except to know that discipline and obedience is required in your family.
If you choose not to accept the Biblical precept, "spare the rod and spoil the child," at least find the intent of teaching self-control and discipline to your children at a very young age with other means. Children who are well disciplined in a loving, but firm manner, grow up to be more successful and secure in life. All of life's successes require learning to control one's thoughts and actions. Spanking with a few swats at a young age is an efficient and effective way of communicating with a child who cannot reason between what behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable. By the age of three, our children obeyed our voices and quickly surrendered their stubborn wills, knowing that Mom and Dad would win if they wanted to test us. Rarely did we have to spank past three, maybe four years old, because they learned to obey us early on. It is always best to win the battles at the youngest ages possible, instead of dealing with the unbridled wills of teenagers. No marks, no bruises, no lasting memories, except to know that discipline and obedience is required in your family.
God is love; His love desires the best and highest for every individual. Since real love chooses the best, it must bring correction to anything within an individual's life that will keep that one from the best. Without true discipline, there's not true love, and without true love, there is not true discipline {Roy Lessin}. God disciplines those He loves. We are His children and He tells us that discipline isn't pleasant but brings about a righteous life. I want to act like a Christian and be molded by the Lord. Yes, it's taken many painful experiences in my life, but I can look back on it now and see that it was all worth while. He is good and His ways are good.
Now no chastening for the present seems to be joyous,
but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Hebrews 12:11
Now no chastening for the present seems to be joyous,
but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Hebrews 12:11
